Orders
by SleepyNinja
Summary: Chapter 22: Amicable Relations. You can't believe everything you see on TV you know. R
1. Newcomer

Order 14: Newcomer

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime.

* * *

The mall was usually quiet most nights. The dull hum of the newly installed vending machines was occasionally interrupted by the late night shopper. The pale white walls and matching floor tiles usually were cleaned around this hour as elevator music played quietly in the background. To wrap it up, security officers patrolled all three levels making sure no harm came to anyone, or anything in the complex. 

Unfortunately this was not a usual night. The vending machines and elevator music couldn't be heard over the sound of panicked running and screams. The security officers could not fulfill their duty. And the pale white walls and tiles on the ground were stained with blood.

Around a dozen people had fled into the mall from the approaching terror following them. They were killed in the middle of the large opening in the center of the structure. Several people on the third floor jumped from the balcony to escape the horror chasing them, leaving bloody corpses next to the ones who never made it to the stairs. People locked themselves inside back rooms of stores in an attempt for safety. But doors were torn away and people slaughtered, because with each death, the threat multiplied.

The security team shut the steel doors to the outside world in hopes to keep out the danger, not realizing they had just sealed their fate along with the doors. Survivors held out in small groups, arming themselves with whatever weapons they could find in the deserted shopping center.

One of the members of one of these groups was Jack Owens. He came in roughly five minutes before everything started to get a soda from a vending machine, or one of the fast food restaurants that lined the third floor, unaware that his craving for a carbonated beverage would change his life.

He was around 1.8 meters tall. At the moment his dark brown hair clung to his forehead with sweat, hanging just above his dark brown eyes. His usually handsome features were now crunched up in determination and anger. His blue T-shirt and blue jeans were spattered with blood and ripped in several places and covered with a fine layer of sweat which plastered them to his strong but skinny frame. He and several others had raided several stores, taking anything that could be used as a weapon. Several people had various sporting implements, like golf clubs and baseball bats, whereas Jack had the good fortune to find a machete in a hardware store.

They had entrenched themselves in an electronics store on the first floor, waiting for a ghoul to walk through the door, and then killing it. They had this going for the better part of half an hour, and twenty minutes after the attack was reported.

Jack gave a sigh as several more of the monsters walked in; he didn't know how long they could keep this up.

* * *

While all this was taking place, Seras Victoria checked her gun and loaded it. She had upgraded from her smaller pistol to a Desert Eagle, with several modifications of course. It wasn't nearly as large as Alucard's but it could still shoot through several ghouls or a centimeter of lead. She placed a clip in the weapon and went to the door on the roof of the mall. 

"It's about time Police Girl."

"Sorry Master," she said as she kicked the access door down. "I'll proceed down to the first floor and look for survivors."

* * *

Jack ran down the white hallway that passed behind the stores. The rest of his group was dead; there were just too many ghouls. Knowing that staying in one place was certain death, he ran. He didn't know where, but anywhere were bloodsucking monsters weren't sounded like a good idea. He heard footsteps around the corner; he slowed his pace and readied his machete as he creped closer and closer to the corner. He jumped out from behind the corner, machete raised over his head and ready to strike. 

"Huh? Oh! A survivor!" Seras said as she turned around.

"Thank God," muttered Jack as he lowered his weapon. "I thought you might have been one of those…those…things."

"Nope," Seras smiled. "Definitely not."

"Good, I've had enough of those bloody things for a while." Jack looked at the woman in front of her. She was cute, but seemed far too cheery in this situation; of course she also had a gun, which probably helped.

"Are there any others behind you?"

"No…they're dead."

"It's too bad. You better follow me, I can try to keep you safe."

"Sounds good." Jack motioned to the other side of the complex, "I think there were more people on the other side of the building."

"Alright, let's go." Seras walked down the hall slowly in the direction Jack had pointed to, with Jack in tow. She took the lead, checking for ghouls as they turned corners and passed doors. When they entered the main walkway they were greeted by 20 ghouls standing in wait.

"Well that's not good." Seras pointed her gun in the middle of the crowd. "Ready?"

"Not particularly," he raised his machete, "but do I have a choice?" he grinned as the ghouls began their slow march toward them.

"Not particularly."

"Thought so." Jack readied his machete and Seras emptied her clip into the group. Perfect headshots. Several ghouls in the middle of the group turned into dust. Jack swung his machete at the nearest ghoul but was surprised when the attack failed. The blade had sliced the ghoul to the elbow, but had stopped. Jack let go of his grip on the blade to escape a grab. He stood surrounded, with around three ghouls approaching, so he did what years of martial arts training had conditioned him to do: assume a fighting stance and beat the living hell out of what opposed him.

The first blow was a devastating crescent kick to the side of the head. The ghoul's head cracked under the force and exploded into dust. A ghoul grabbed him from behind and lowered his jaws at him, but before the teeth could connect Jack had already thrown him over his shoulder and into the bloody walls. The last ghoul had the heel of Jack's foot in his face before it could ever do anything. It collapsed and attempted to get up before a gunshot rang out. The ghoul's head disappeared and then the body turned to dust.

"Not too bad," Seras said as she loaded a fresh clip into her gun.

Jack stood up strait and stretched his arms. "Could have been better. Didn't have time to stretch beforehand, and besides you took all the fun." Seras laughed. Jack froze. Fangs. She had fangs. "What are you!" He shouted as he backed away.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're one of them!"

"No! No I'm not! I'm on your side!" Seras took a few steps toward him, her arms out, and her weapon holstered.

"Stay away!"

"But-"Seras tried to calm him, but Jack did what any sensible man in his situation would do.

Jack ran like hell.

* * *

Seras stalked in the back halls. She could hear a ghoul wandering up ahead. The hall was lined with doors, so it could be anywhere. She turned a corner and there it was. It looked like it was about to go through a door to somewhere. It didn't matter anymore as a gunshot rang out. The ghoul turned to dust and disappeared, but the door opened and a bloody Jack Owens fell to the ground. The bullet has passed through the ghoul, through the door, and strait through Jack's body. 

"Oh god…" Seras ran to the fallen man and turned him upright and propped his head up. "Are you alright?"

Jack covered his mouth as he coughed. Blood seeped through his fingers onto his clothes. "What do you think?"

"Obviously not."

"Must be a Thursday. Never got the hang of Thursday."

Jack coughed again, sending blood over Seras and his chest. "I imagine." She clamped her hand over the wound, pretending it was going to help. "Do you want come with me?"

"With a monster? Well," he mumbled, "I was planning on bleeding to death, but your idea is good too."

Seras lowered herself onto Jack and tilted his head over for better access to his neck. "You're supposed to be freaking out about now."

"I might if I could move."

"Point taken." She lowered her head and bit into his neck.

The steel doors opened and the purification team ran in. Seras had propped Jack's arm around her and was helping him hobble out; he was too proud to be carried. They walked through the automatic doors as Alucard stepped out of the darkness behind them, "you took far too long Police Girl."

Seras turned to face her master. "There were complications Master."

Alucard looked at Jack and saw his red eyes and understood. "So no survivors then?"

"No Master."

"I see…" Alucard grinned and tilted his head up and gazed up at the sky. It was a clear night and the moon and stars glowed brilliantly. "It's a perfect night," he said to no one in particular.


	2. Not Bomb

Order 15: Not Bomb

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime.

A/N: The story takes place a year or two after the ending of the anime. Also looking for an editor, so if you're interested gimme an email at sat quietly in the back of the armored transport. Jack was lying on the other side on the lightly padded seats. He had either passed out or fallen asleep, Seras couldn't decide which one it was. When she looked at him her vision flashed to that night in Cheddar when the Jack of her old squadron died, and turned into a ghoul right in front of her.

* * *

Seras shook those old memories out of her head. This Jack was far different from that one and she had given him his un-life, so she better get used to looking at him. 

"Good evening Master."

Integra took her gaze off counting the ceiling tiles for the millionth time and found Alucard standing on the other side of the room. "Alucard."

"I just dropped by to give you a little news."

"Oh really? I'm thrilled," she said, placing as much sarcasm on it as she could at this hour.

"I just thought you might be interested in knowing that we have a new member."

"Alucard! What did I tell you about not making that into a habit?"

"Oh Master," he said as he walked closer, "I'm hurt. Just because we have a new vampire around you immediately think it's me? It really does hurt my feelings you know."

"I'm judging by past experience."

"But to finish my story it seems the Police Girl had a little snack earlier this evening, I just thought you should know." Alucard disappeared into the shadows as quietly as he had entered.

Integra looked back up and started counting the tiles again. "Dammit Seras," she muttered.

* * *

The Hellsing Organization had to relocate while Integra was trying to be quietly pardoned by the royal family. What was left of the living members had set up a command center in a remote area of town. The basement was extended for its militaristic purposes, shooting ranges, training areas, weapon storage, and an area for the personnel's needs. The 93 living members fit into the building perfectly. 

The last floor of the basement contained four rooms. One was currently being used for storage, and the other three were for the three non-living members of the Hellsing Organization. The rooms were fairly large with plain walls and they were outfitted with a bathroom, simple wood table and chairs, and of course, a coffin with a silver cross on it. The bathroom contained a simple porcelain toilet, a combination shower/bathtub, and a sink.

When Jack opened the simple wooden door from the bathroom a cloud of steam first let out as he stepped on the cold cement floor. He rubbed his white fluffy towel trough his hair a few more times before he threw it on the table. He got dressed in the outfit that the Hellsing had given him. It resembled the outfit that his master wore, though it was suited to male taste. It was a shade or two darker and, naturally, had pants instead of a skirt. He left the boots under the table and the gloves on top of it. He collapsed on the soft cushy padding on his coffin with a sigh of content. A nice hot shower always made him feel better, but the transition to being a vampire was definitely much harder than expected, this much could be told from his five days as a member of the undead.

He hadn't been drinking blood every day. It just felt weird, though he did suck it up and drink every other day. He was now able to bench around 200 kilograms, where he could bench only 75 earlier. He could move faster, see farther and better in the dark, and recovered from injury in a short amount of time. It was just all too sudden. No one besides his master and Alucard really talked to him. Some of the guys seemed to be indifferent and some were generally nice to him, but he was generally ignored like a plague victim.

Jack was considering taking a nap when someone knocked on the door. "Come in Master."

The door opened with a small creek. Seras stood in the doorway, "how did you know it was me?"

Jack slowly made his way up to a sitting position and rubbed his eyes. "Well Master, you're the only one who knocks."

"Oh really?"

"Of course," Jack said as he rolled off his bed and stood up. "Alucard just appears out of nowhere, and no one else comes to visit."

"Master does tend to do that."

"So Master, what bring you to my humble abode?"

"Well you have boxes with your name on them upstairs. I figured you wanted them."

"I was wondering when that was coming in." Jack walked to his table and pulled his boots on. "I suppose I should go get my goodies then. Want to come with?"

"Alright." Seras stepped back to avoid blocking the doorway. Jack walked out and they both went down the hall. The awkward silence was getting to her. "I see they managed to find you a uniform."

"Yes Master. It certainly took them long enough."

"It's almost identical to mine."

"Well I'm quite pleased with that Master, I just don't think a short skirt would do justice to my figure," he joked.

Seras laughed. "Well it's good that they got you something to wear, that hole through your other shirt was a large one."

Jack chuckled to himself, "It felt larger when it happened Master. Your gun shoots quite large bullets."

They silently walked along the hall for another few moments. The awkward pause continued until Seras broke the silence with more mindless chit chat "So, where'd you learn to do those moves you did on those ghouls?

"That? It's nothing. I've been taking martial arts since I was 13, so it's second nature."

"What kind?"

"Well…let me see…" He paused for a while and scratched his head, "mainly Tae Kwon Do," he started, "but a few other styles. I also was taking lessons for sword 'because I was bored, so that's about it. You were pretty good shot though. Where you learn to do that?"

"Police academy. Well that and Alucard. I was a cop before I joined Hellsing, and then Alucard taught me how to shoot."

"I have to admit, I am a lousy shot. You'll have to teach me sometime Master."

"Sure, sometime later today." As they walked down the hall, others tended to almost scrape against the wall, obviously trying not to make eye contact.

"Is it always like this?"

"Like what?"

"Everyone treating us like we have the plague." Jack started up the stairs to the main floor.

"Most of the time," she sighed.

"Its just weird, I mean I could easily look like I used to if I had those color contacts, and a file to grind down my fangs."

"I know. It's…It's the vampire extermination. They see what those freaks do and we're associated because we're vampires too."

"It just seems so…lonely."

"Sometimes…" Seras pushed the door to the front room open. Armored transports were centered in the middle of the room, fueled and ready to go. Weapon lockers with boxes of ammunition next to them line the walls. "They're over here." Seras motioned to a large stack of boxes by a door to outside, each had "Owens" in big black letter and "Not Bomb" stamped some where. Her expression turned to that of shock. "There are more of them than last time…"

"Yeah, these are mine." Jack looked up at the large stack. The cardboard pyramid was at least a meter taller than he was. "

"How are you going to fit all of this in your room?" she asked in a bewildered tone.

"Most of its bubble wrap…I think. It shouldn't be too hard." He looked at the boxes and looked around the room. "So is there a lift or something I could use?"

"Nope, stairs only."

Jack paused and looked at the boxes again. "Shit."

* * *

Jack proceeded to empty a clip at the target on the other side of the shooting range. After moving boxes for about three hours he needed to shoot something, of course the results weren't helping. He placed his pistol down with a sighed and pressed the button to retrieve the target. He grabbed the target and looked at his results. He didn't even hit any part of the actual target; several holes were in the white area of the paper, but nothing had hit the target. 

"You missed," Seras said from behind him.

"Wha?" Jack jumped and looked behind him. "Christ, don't scare me like that."

"I had to," she giggled. "It was too good to pass up."

"Well don't do it anymore." He turned his attention back to his horrible shooting. "I never was a good shot."

"That's because you're still shooting like a human." She placed another clip into the pistol Jack had placed in front of him, and placed a fresh target at the end of the lane. "Shoot with your third eye." She aimed and started shooting. Once the pistol was spent she placed it down and called the target back. She pulled it off the line and checked her handiwork, all headshots. "See?"

"Seras Victoria," a voice over the intercom system said. "Please report to the main office."

"I should go, but you keep it up." Seras headed for the door and Jack waved goodbye.

Jack placed a fresh target on the line and sent it down, and reloaded his gun. "Alright," he said as he took aim, "third eye," he muttered. He stared intently on his target and fired. He pressed the button recalling the target. He plucked it off the clip and was satisfied at his work. Perfect Headshot.

* * *

A/N: I'll try to update on Wednesdays, because nothing happens on Wednesdays unless you force something to. 


	3. Testing, 1, 2, 3

Order 16: Testing 1, 2, 3

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime.

A/N: Review or I'll cry and stuff.

* * *

Alucard was bored. This was not an uncommon occurrence. The restrictions on his power set by the Hellsing family severely limited his fun opportunities, and after almost a millennia of un-life, there wasn't much that he hadn't tried. He felt around the compound, the Police-Girl was bored too, so was her new apprentice. He continually looked for anything that might be interesting. Nothing, except… 

Alucard disappeared from his room and went into the main office; there was someone he needed to welcome back.

* * *

Seras Victoria continued to walk the halls. There was nothing to do. She already taken a nap, she had her blood bag for the day, she had read almost everything in the compound, and she had been blowing large holes in targets for the past half hour. She headed back to her room, there had to be something she could find to do. 

She walked slowly towards her room. There was no rush. She descended the stairs and walked toward her door. As she reached the door she casually glanced to the door on her left. Jack had apparently been busy. A pile of cardboard and bubble wrap sat outside of his door. "Not like I have anything better to do," she said to herself as she strolled to his door. As she got closer she could hear the soft playing of music in the background. She knocked on the door and waited for a reply.

The sound of music stopped. "Come in Master," the voice from inside called.

Seras opened the door and was shocked at what she saw. His room looked…normal, which in this case was odd. The coffin remained in the far right corner, but everything else was moved. To her right was a pile of bubble wrap sitting next to the door to the bathroom, to her left were two desks pushed together. One hugged the corner and the wall, and the other seemed to have attached itself to the other desk and down the other wall. On top of one of one of the desks sat a flat screen computer monitor, mouse, and keyboard, and an impressive quad speaker sound system. The tower sat on the ground next to the desk and in front of the desk sat a fake-leather rolling chair.

A nightstand stood next to the coffin with a digital clock telling the time and several books placed next to it. A small bookcase sat next to the nightstand, it only filled to a third of its capacity with various books on different subjects. A dresser stood next to that, with random nick-knacks on it. A sword rack hung above it, holding 3 Japanese swords. Around the middle of the room was a cream colored couch, with a coffee table in front of it. An entertainment system with a 40 inch TV and various electronics under it stood against the wall, parallel from the couch.

Jack was lying on the couch, face fixed in a grin as he watched Seras' face go into a state of shock. "What do you think Master?"

Seras looked around, trying to get a grasp on the transformation that had occurred in such a short period of time. "It's…" she started, "it's…normal."

Jack chuckled, "I was hoping for that look. The tech guy cried when I told him to put in electrical outlets."

"This is wonderful! I haven't seen a normal room in ages!"

Jack sat up and slid his way to the middle cushion of the sofa. "Come on," he said, patting the cushion next to him, "sit down."

"Alright." Seras hopped onto the couch and sunk in to the soft padding. "Ohhh, this is nice." She wiggled a bit to find the ideal spot, and leaned her head back

"You know, there is a leaver on the side that reclines your section of the couch."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it should be on the side of the couch, feel around a bit."

Seras took her hand off the armrest and fumbled around the end of the couch for the reclining lever. After a few moments she found it and pulled. The back of the couch fell backwards to a 30 degree angle and a footrest popped out of the bottom. "I could definitely get used to this," she purred.

"Unfortunately Police-Girl," Alucard said out of nowhere, "we have work to do." Alucard materialized behind the couch. "Run along children." Both Jack and Seras gave groans of disapproval as they got on their feet. After a moment of stretching they went out the door. Alucard gave an inquisitive look at the couch checked to see if anyone was around. Satisfied that he was alone he sat down. "My my. It is comfortable."

* * *

When Seras and Jack reached the briefing room Alucard was already there, sitting in a chair in the corner. The lights were dim and the projector was in standby mode. They took their seats at the table and waited. When the presentation started Seras immediately recognized the voice. She would have to give him a hug after the briefing. 

After the presentation was finished and the lights turned back on, Seras scanned the room. She found Walter Dollneaz at the head of the table, closing a laptop computer plugged into the projector.

"Walter!" she called as she ran up to the older man and hugged him.

"It's quite nice to see you Miss Victoria. Now if you could stop crushing me I would be most appreciative."

Seras let him go, dropping him back down to the ground. "Sorry Walter, I just got a little carried away."

"No harm done. Now, who is the fine young fellow behind you?" Walter asked.

Seras turned around and pushed Jack forward. "This is Jack Owens. Jack this is Walter."

Walter bowed slightly. "Another vampire I see. I am Walter Dollneaz, retainer of the Hellsing family."

Jack returned the bow. "Jack Owens. Residential vampire of the Hellsing family," he grinned.

"How'd you get out?"

"I was quietly pardoned by Her Majesty. The incident had to be out of the minds of the people, or else I'm afraid, as the young people say, 'the jig would be up'."

"It's good to have you back." Seras paused. "Walter, Jack needs some weapons before we move out. I'm going to go get ready; I'll meet you in about 10 minutes."

"Yes Master."

"Well, I came prepared for this situation. Follow me please." They followed Walter into a backroom. It was mostly empty, save a simple table and a large wooden crate. Walter opened the lid of the crate and placed it on the ground. "Now, what are you looking for?"

"I have to admit, I'm not a very good shot, so I'd like something that shoots really big bullets to compensate."

"I see. Well," he said as he reached into the crate, "I had saved this incase Alucard decided he wanted something new, but I think it will do you just fine." Walter pulled out a large handgun. It had a blood red finish, and 'Amen' was written in flowing text on the side. The grip was black, and the breech faced to the left. "The 15mm Hellcat. It weighs in at 19kg, 42 cm length, capable of holding 7 rounds per clip. The mercury ignition bullets are custom made sliver armor piercing incendiary rounds." Walter handed the gun to Jack with a grin.

Jack looked at it with awe, it was perfect. "You know what…? I could blow up the whole god damn world with this thing…" He grabbed clips of ammunition and placed them in his belt.

"I'm glad you're pleased."

"May I also make another request?"

"Of course."

"I'd like a sword. Katana preferably. I have a feeling that mine aren't up to ghoul cutting standards."

"I see. I'll look into it. Now I do believe that it is time to get ready. I'm sure Miss Victoria is waiting for you."

"Thank you Walter."

"Any time Mister Owens."

* * *

Seras hoisted the Halconnen Cannon into the armored transport storage compartment with her ammunition box and closed it. She looked behind her and saw Jack's eyes almost bugging out. "Ready to go?" Jack said nothing. "What?" she asked in a puzzled tone. 

"That's a _really_ big gun."

"Look who's talking." Seras said as she noticed the Hellcat in his right hand.

"Yeah, Walter is officially on my list of favorite people."

"Oh really? Am I on that list?"

"No." He said nonchalantly.

"Why?"

"Well Master, you're not people."

* * *

Seras and Jack walked through the dark corridor. They had infiltrated the suspected FREAK chip manufacturing plant and were clearing out whatever defenses were around to make way for the rest of the Hellsing unit. They had already silently taken out several guards and had to be careful not to step on any of the debris that lined the hallway. They had reached the door to the main target. 

"We've reached the target." She whispered into her radio. She glared inside through the cracked door. People with white coats were attending chemicals, microscopes, and other machinery. She spotted some armed guards in position by doorways and other areas of infiltration. She looked at Jack, "On three. One, two, three!"

Seras kicked down the door, knocking the armed guard down. They both rushed in and started shooting. Seras picked off guards with precise shots, and dodged enemy fire. However, Jack's shooting was more erratic, coming in two or three shot bursts from his Hellcat. Members of the Hellsing unit burst in from all entry points and started to neutralize hostiles.

The firefight was over in a matter of seconds. Once the guards were neutralized the techs raised their hands in surrender. The Hellsing soldiers began to collect evidence and take the prisoners away. Jack and Seras began to survey the carnage.

Jack looked around the room, noticing a ladder to the second floor. "Master, something feels wrong about this."

"I know. It was too easy."

Jack heard footsteps and a pin hit the ground. He looked up to the top of the ladder and saw a figure throw something. "Shit." Jack raised his Hellcat with breakneck speed. He knew what was thrown; he'd seen enough action movies to know what a grenade looked like. "Third eye," he thought and pulled the trigger. The explosion in midair sent a shockwave through the room, knocking some people down.

Jack ran to the ladder and jumped, grabbing the ladder about halfway up.

"Jack!" Seras called out, but it was too late, he had already scaled the ladder and was in pursuit of whoever threw the grenade.

Jack ran down the dilapidated corridor, dodging the fallen supports that lined it. He could see who he was chasing but he wasn't gaining any ground. He squeezed off two shots with his Hellcat, but the only thing he managed to do was blow large holes into the walls. The hall became increasingly unstable. More supports lay strewn on the floor and hanging from the ceiling. Jack had an idea. He shot ahead and hit the key supports for the passage. The ceiling collapsed, forcing Jack's quarry to stop.

"End of the line buddy." Jack pointed his Hellcat at the back of its head.

"I think not, Hellsing whelp. You cannot hope to kill a vampire!" The target turned around, giving Jack a good look at him. He had a face that would frighten small children. His grotesque features twisted into something that could only be described as a smile. He pulled out a small gun and aimed at Jack. "I think its time for you to die." He fired, hitting Jack in the stomach.

Jack looked down at the wound and shrugged it off. "Nice try." Jack fired his Hellcat. The 15mm silver bullet rushed out of its chamber towards the vampire's head.

"A vampire?" It managed to say before the majority of its torso was blown away and it turned to dust.

Jack frowned. He was aiming for the head. Jack placed the Hellcat in its holster on his side and shook his head. "Whatever. That's done with."

"Jack!" Seras yelled as she slowed her pace.

Jack turned around and walked toward his master. "It's been taken care of. Bastard did manage to put a hole in my uniform though." Jack motioned to his gunshot wound, which had already healed.

"Good work Jack. Let's go home."


	4. Swordplay

Order 17: Swordplay

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime.

A/N: Review or I'll cry and stuff.

* * *

A month passed without much incident. After the raid on the FREAK chip lab vampire activity had decreased dramatically and intelligence was busy sorting through all the evidence. The timing for the lull was perfect for Jack because Walter still hadn't received the sword from whoever Walter gets his weapons from. Jack's aim was steadily improving; Alucard had been helping him and figured he would have an almost perfect shot in another month. Seras had started materializing into Jack's room, though still only one person knocked, Walter. 

Seras was currently lazing on Jack's couch watching the BBC while Jack was playing solitaire on his computer, or what he liked to call "the most expensive deck of cards I ever bought". His room was now more or less transformed into the Hellsing vampire break room. Jack even swore that he caught Alucard sitting on his couch a few weeks ago. The last month was full of Jack's good humor, sarcasm, and wit. Seras rarely went twenty minutes without laughing.

A knock came on the door and Walter entered. "Good evening Miss Victoria, Mister Owens. Mister Owens I have something for you." He walked up to the desks and placed a long brown leather case on the table without the computer. Seras walked over and leaned on the back of Jack's chair to see what was going on. Walter opened the case and revealed a long sword in a plain black metal sheath with a white cross in the middle. He removed the sword with two hands and pulled the blade from its resting place. Metal reverberations sounded through the room as the blade glimmered in the light. "The blade is 87cm long and the hilt is another 23, bringing the total length to 1.1 meters. The blade is perfectly balanced and it weighs 2.4 kilograms. The blade was made by the finest sword maker in Japan and is made titanium alloy. It was shipped over last night where it blade itself was blessed. The guard on the blade is also made of titanium, but the rest of the hilt is constructed with 440 grade stainless steel. All created in the traditional katana form." He offered the sword to Jack. Jack grabbed the black hilt and was awed by the craftsmanship. The hilt was black leather; the bottom of the hilt was covered with a plain steel cap. The guard was perfect shining titanium, and a metal ring right below it matched perfectly.

He stood and waved the sword around a bit. Walter was right, it _was_ perfectly balanced. He barely touched the blade and quickly pulled back. He looked at his index finger at the small cut as blood oozed out. "That's what I call sharp." His voice was in awe. "It's perfect. It's absolutely perfect. Walter, you are the man."

"Thank you sir. I'm glad you're pleased."

"I'm more than pleased."

"Yes well, I must be going. There are other things I must attend to." Walter bowed and took his leave.

Jack sheathed his sword. It made a metal snap when it went all the way in. Jack smiled.

* * *

"From what intelligence has gathered," Walter said, pointing to the projector's image of the FREAK chip, "the freak chip acts like a virus. It is placed in the human body and starts programming the tissue around it. The infected tissue then releases an unidentified substance which makes its way through the circulatory system infecting the entire body. Once the entire body has been infected the chip shuts down and destroys itself. The lab workers that were captured still have refused to talk, but we're becoming increasingly…creative in our methods. We expect some sort of information before the end of the month." 

The projector turned to a different picture, this one of crime scene photos. "We have recently had reports of a vampire rampage. From witnesses and the evidence, there are apparently five of them. We currently have a unit separating the vampires and luring them into areas in red." The picture changed again, this time showing a map with red areas about two or three blocks apart. "Alucard, Miss Victoria, and Mister Owens will go after one vampire each, Colonel Ewell, and Colonel Bolton's unit will neutralize that last two. In the name of God, impure souls of the living dead shall be banished into eternal damnation. Amen."

Amen could be heard from all around the table.

* * *

Jack walked down the ally with gun drawn. He could hear his target's ragged breathing up ahead. It didn't matter. Hellsing units were blockading every possible exit he could have, so all he had to do was drive him towards them, or take care of him by himself. 

"He should be up about twenty meters when you turn the corner." Walter's voice said in his earpiece.

"Roger." Jack ran and turned the corner. His target fled down the ally. "Coward." Jack pulled the trigger on his Hellcat and the Vampire's head shattered and the vampire disappeared into dust. "Target neutralized. Send in the-" Jack's communication was interrupted by a ear piercing shriek. "Seras!" Jack sprinted in the direction of the scream, where Seras was supposed to be.

* * *

Seras shot at her target, placing holes the size of soda caps in her target, but this did not impede Paladin Alexander Anderson's progress. His blessed swords raised, he charged at the Hellsing vampire. Seras dropped her gun and grabbed his wrists before he could strike. They battled for supremacy for around thirty seconds, each pushing with all of their might. The stalemate however was broken with a well placed foot to Seras' stomach, sending her into a dumpster. Seras struggled to get up, but the kick had knocked the air out of her and the pain was agonizing. 

"Tha divine punishment o' tha Lord is swift midian!" He said in his Scottish accent as he prepared the death blow. Anderson never quite got to launch the attack, because a roundhouse kick caught him in the throat, dropping him like a sac of bricks.

"I just crushed your trachea." Jack said, watching the catholic rolling on the ground in pain. "Unless you are promptly treated by medical personnel you will die in a matter of minutes, but unfortunately I think they'll be late." He kicked Anderson in the ribs, sending him another five meters away with a satisfying crunching noise. "I just broke you ribs. It has no real consequence other than the fact that I'm pissed off." He turned away from Anderson and rushed to the side of his master. "Master are you alright?"

Seras struggled to say something but she had not quite got the air back in her lungs. "Behind you…" she whispered.

"What?"

"He's not dead…" she tried to say.

"Master I can't hear you."

Seras sucked in all the air she could and yelled "Behind you!"

Jack spun around as he took his sword from its sheath on his back, blocking the duel blades from Anderson. Jack was pushing him back. "Paladin Anderson I presume," Jack said slyly as he continued to push back the attack.

"Filthy demon! I will send ye to the deepest pits o' Hell!"

"You first!" Jack broke the clash, and spun around and cut at the Paladin. Anderson moved out of the way and threw a knife as he turned. The knife lodged itself in Jack's stomach, causing him to buckle slightly. He pulled the weapon out and threw it back, though it was deflected by one of Alexander's swords. "Master!" He yelled. "Go get Alucard!"

Seras didn't need to be told twice. She regained her composure and ran off in search of her master. "I'll be back!"

"Just go!" He clashed blades with Anderson once more as he yelled. The sound of metal on metal made his voice difficult to hear.

"Yes! Bring more ta the slaughter!" Anderson continued his attack, causing Jack to block one blade and doge another, occasionally getting an attack in. Sparks lit up the night as the blades collided. Jack noticed he was being pushed into a corner he jumped backwards and pushed off against the wall, landing behind the priest's back. He pulled his Hellcat from its holster and squeezed off a quick shot, blowing off Anderson's left arm before he had to block the attack from his right.

"I shall ne'er give up in my divine quest! I shall destroy ye with everything I am!" The paladin unleashed a flurry of knives at Jack though he jumped out of the way and rolled forward and finished the roll with a stab. Anderson blocked with one blade and swung at his head with another. Jack ducked and spun around with a sweep kick taking out Anderson's feet from under him.

Jack took the offensive as Anderson got back on his feet. He charged and started attacking; backing Anderson into the corner that he was trying to force him into. Jack had evened the odds by blowing off one of Anderson's arms and they now fought on more or less on even ground.

Jack slashed at the paladin's chest, but when Anderson blocked; his sword was cleanly sliced in two. Jack stabbed straight into the priest's stomach, skewering him. Jack grinned as he heard the tearing of flesh and the smelled the scent of blood. When he twisted his blade he was rewarded by more sounds of tissue ripping, more blood seeped out onto the blade, flowing to the handle and dripping off of the guard. He took the sword out of his stomach and saw the anger well up in his face.

"It's time ta end this ye filthy creature!" Anderson shot two of his blessed blades into Jack, catching him in the throat and in the chest. "Ye put up a fine fight, but ta Lord's punishment is swift an' mighty!"

Jack dropped his sword. He looked down at the blades sticking out of him and stared into Alexander's triumphant eyes. Jack screamed, "_Alucard_!" then hit the ground, a pool of blood forming below him.

* * *

Seras ran full speed back to where she left Jack. When she arrived Anderson was gone, and Alucard was nowhere to be seen. "Jack!" She ran over to his motionless form and pulled out the knives in his body. Once that was over she checked for life signs. "Come on Jack," she said as she shook him, "wake up. Jack…" She felt the tears start to well up in her eyes. "Dammit Jack, don't die!" Tears now flowed down her cheek onto the ground below. "Jack as your master I command you not to die!" 

"Master…"

"Jack! Thank god! I was so worried!"

"Help me up." Seras got under his shoulders and tried to help him to a sitting position. Jack winced in pain. "On second thought just let me lie here for a bit." She slowly lowered him back down. "What happened to Anderson?" he murmured.

"He's gone."

"That's good. I think I'm just gonna take a little nap now." As Jack slipped into unconsciousness he was overwhelmed with a feeling of security. He knew his master was by his side, and she wouldn't let anything happen to him, not even if God himself tried.

* * *

Jack slowly came to. He had a horrible headache and his chest and throat stung a bit. He was vaguely aware that he was on his bed, dressed in one of his t-shirts and favorite pair of pajama bottoms. He opened his eyes and gazed at the top of his coffin. He turned his head and saw Seras sitting on a chair by his bedside, sleeping. Her head was resting on his bed next to his chest. 

"You know the Police Girl hasn't left your side since she found you." Alucard was sitting on the couch, his feet propped up on the table.

Jack grunted in response as he forced himself to a sitting position. "What did you do to Anderson?"

"Poor Vatican lackey. I sent him back home with his tail tucked between his legs. Of course there wasn't much to do. I thought twisting the blade when it was in him was a nice touch."

"Thanks." Jack leaned back on his bed and stared at the bottom of the lid of his coffin. He was certain of one thing; he was going to kill Paladin Alexander Anderson.

* * *

A/N: I'd like to say thanks to my editor, Kougra. And tell your friends, reviews make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 


	5. Bloodbath

Order 18: Bloodbath

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime, pennies however, are another story.

A/N: Review or I'll cry and stuff.

Jack felt the hot water hit his body as he bathed himself. His new room was much like his old flat. It had more or less the same things in it, a lousy view, and it was usually messy. However the one thing that was different from his old flat: the hot water never ran out!

He washed the last of his shampoo out of his hair and turned the water off. Several drips fell from the showerhead before it stopped completely. Jack opened the shower door, closing it behind him as he set his feet down on the soft white cotton mat. He grabbed the towel off the rack and dried himself off. He threw the towel on the sink and grabbed his clothes and dressed himself. Walking out into his room he grabbed his blood bag, tearing open the top and sucked down the contents greedily. He threw the empty bag into the garbage and grabbed his sword. Time to practice.

He walked out of the room and went into the storage room. He had cleaned it out and had turned it into a practice room where he could practice and improve on his fighting and sword techniques. He was going to make damn sure he would make Anderson beg for his life the next time they met.

Henry Porter was not by any means composed man. He was constantly frazzled and jittery, and the current situation he was in was not a good one. He was in charge of FREAK chip manufacturing in West London, and the evidence at the captured lab wasn't making anything better.

He paced back and forth in his small dark office. Cigarette butts were strewn on the dull red carpet, and all over the cluttered desk. The phone rang, and Henry jumped. He cleared off the papers off his phone and the area of the desk. "Hello…?" He squeaked into the phone.

The voice on the other side boomed. "Yes sir…" Henry said. "Yes we did get what you sent. They're working on it right now." Henry listened to the other voice. "Tonight? Can it be done by then…? Well yes of course I want revenge. It's just its making everyone here uneasy. No I'm not arguing… Yes sir." Henry hung up the phone and slumped into his chair. The stress was going to kill him, if what was to happen tonight didn't.

Jack's closed his eyes and concentrated. He had five bricks lined up in a row and was intent on crushing them with a punch. He formed a loose fist at his waist and opened his eyes. With a shout and a twist, his hand went through the bricks. His pulled his hand out of the rubble and rubbed his hand. "Dammit," he thought, "It's not supposed to hurt if you do it right." He looked at the pile of bricks behind him and sighed. "Better give it another shot."

""Impressive." Alucard had appeared behind him.

"Not really Master Alucard. My form was off. I could have broken my hand."

"That's not a big problem."

"I know, but I would rather not be inconvenienced by it." Jack said as he set up more bricks.

Alucard gave him a smug grin. "I'm afraid you don't have time for another try. We're leaving."

Seras leaned on an armored transport with her Halconnen cannon. She gazed at the warehouse, it was a supposedly another FREAK chip lab. What made it worse is that the building ownership had been traced back to an organized crime family.

"Ready to go in Master?"

Seras pushed herself off the armored vehicle, placed her cannon on her back, and readied her pistol. "Of course." She waved to the unit behind her to follow her and walked in the front door.

The door led to a dark hallway, though a large metal door could be seen about 10 meters in front of them. Seras lead the unit down the hallway with Jack tailing behind. Seras opened the door and went into the room with gun drawn. The room was a bright white and well lit. Alucard was standing in the middle of the room, light reflecting from his sunglasses.

"Going to shoot me again police girl?"

Seras lowered her gun and motioned the unit to come in. She looked around the room and didn't see another door to go through. "Master, how do we get out of here?"

Alucard pulled his Jackal out of his coat and blew a hole in the wall behind him. The hole made by the 13mm bullet revealed a passage behind the wall. "This way Police Girl."

"I can handle this Master." Jack walked toward the whole and kicked another hole in the wall. As he was about to kick another hole in the wall, large strips of drywall fell off. They fell in a strait line all around the room 1.5 meters up. Shiny black metal was behind the dry wall, lined with holes.

Seras looked at this for a second. "GET DOWN!" Seras, Jack, and several of the more responsive troops hit the ground as bullets started to fly out of the holes. Many of the troops didn't manage to get down fast enough and were cut down in the gunfire, their blood gushing from their shredded bodies as they fell to the ground.

The shooting stopped after another several seconds of intense gunfire. Alucard had apparently decided not to move, he lay in several pieces on the ground. As Seras rose he reattached all his parts where they should be, and stood exactly where he did before the shooting started. Seras looked in horror at the scene around her. Mangled bodies lay strewn on the floor, which was covered in blood. Jack and the few soldiers who got down fast enough rose to the floor, their clothing stained with blood.

"They've been expecting us." Jack tried to open the door from which they came from to no avail. "We've been locked in," Jack started as he raised his Hellcat at the doorknob. "But this should fix that." Jack pulled the trigger and the 15mm bullet smashed into the metal door. Much to Jack's chagrin the door was only slightly dented. "Holy shit…" he muttered.

"Move aside." Seras hoisted the Halconnen off her back and loaded a depleted uranium shell in the chamber, aimed, and fired. Seras recoiled a bit and grinned as the smoke cleared. The grin quickly disappeared; this time the door had a very large dent in it, rather than Jack's smaller one. "I don't think we're leaving that way."

"Well then," Jack turned to the hole he had been making, "looks like this is our way out." He kicked the remaining drywall out of the way and walked in towards the darkness. "This place is probably booby trapped, so watch your- Wha?" The floor under him collapsed, sending Jack down a metal tube.

"Guess he wasn't kidding." One of the soldiers said.

Jack hit the concrete floor with a thud. "Me and my big mouth," he said to himself. He groaned as he stood up and rubbed his head. He was in a large beige room, at least 7 meters tall. There was a simple door on the far left side from where he was, the door opened and in stepped seven figures, each clad in black.

"It's time for you to die, Hellsing whelp." One of them said.

"Oh really?" Jack raised his Hellcat and stared at them. "I have a problem with this."

"Time to die." They all rushed towards him, moving at unnatural speeds.

"Freaks I see," Jack said as he shot the figure farthest to the right. "Entertain me!" He yelled, holstering his gun and charging towards them. As they were about to clash Jack launched a flying sidekick at the lead vampire, hitting him directly in the chest with a cracking sound. He was knocked back into the wall, several meters away. Jack turned his attention to his other five attackers who were closing in. The first to attack tried to land a haymaker on the side of Jack's head. Jack turned into a side kick, avoiding the attack and crushing the vampire's ribs. The other vampire's backed away slightly. "Unfortunately I have little time to play." Jack drew his sword from the sheath latched to his back. "So forgive me for cutting this short." He put an extra emphasis on the word 'cutting' and scolded himself for using such a horrible pun.

"Fool, you can never hope to defeat us!" The head vampire said as he got up from the ground.

"You know I'm really starting to get annoyed by your attitude." Jack turned and took of the head of the vampire behind him, who was apparently trying to stab him with a switchblade knife. "Two down" he thought. He twisted around and stabbed another vampire in the heart, turning him into dust. One of the vampires tried to take advantage of Jack's off balance posture by trying to kick out his legs. Jack moved his back leg around and used the twist to cut the attacker in two. Jack jumped into the air as the four remaining vampires tried to attack him at the same time. He jumped backwards a bit to land behind one of them, and before he landed, he cut him clean in half. The three remaining attackers were quick to surround him. The vampire facing him threw a punch at his chest. Jack leaned to the right and leaned back, swinging his sword behind him, decapitating the two vampires behind him in one smooth motion.

"It…It is impossible!" The remaining vampire backed away from Jack.

"Get used to it," he said, before stabbing him in the heart. Jack looked surveyed his work with satisfaction and walked through the door in the corner of the room.

Seras walked down the hallway slowly. She and several of the troops following her had fallen into a trap and they didn't quite know where they were. She opened the door slowly, peeking inside making sure it wasn't rigged to explode or anything of that nature. When she walked into the room 10 men with shotguns stood in its middle.

"'Bout time you showed up." One of the men said in an Irish accent as he raised his gun.

Seras slammed the door shut as the men fired at her. "Ten armed human hostiles." She said to the troops behind her as she readied her pistol. "Go in on my mark." She stood directly in front of the door. "Mark." She kicked the door down and both sides opened fire. In a few seconds the fire stopped and all the men in the room were on the ground dead. Seras had taken a shell to the chest, but it didn't matter; the pellets were forced out of her body as her advanced regeneration took effect.

She walked to the next door and opened it slowly, only to be greeted by the business end of a shotgun barrel.

"Time to die little lady" The man holding the gun said.

"Nothing personal." Jack said as he fired the Hellcat point-blank into the side of his head. The headless corpse fell to the ground, forming a pool of blood beneath it. "Hello Master."

"Jack! Where have you been?"

He shrugged. "This place is a maze. They knew we were coming, everything is gone." He motioned to the room behind him. It had an uncanny layout to the last FREAK chip lab, but all of the equipment was gone. "They even took the light bulbs out of some of the rooms."

"I know. Have you seen Master around?"  
"No I haven't. Of course when do we know what Alucard does?"

"Very rarely."

"Well," Jack said looking at the door to Seras' right. "There's only one way outta here."

"Alright. I'll go in first." Seras crept toward the door and kicked it open. The room was dark with a desk with Alucard sitting behind it, his feet propped up next to the phone. "Master!"

"I've been talking to my good friend Henry here." Alucard motioned to the squirming man pinned to the wall. "He has a few interesting things to say."

"Oh does he?" She said as she walked into the room, avoiding the bodies that littered the floor. She pressed the end of her pistol to his throat. "Think you can repeat what you told him?"

"N-never!" he protested.

"Master that's not how you treat someone." Jack pulled his sword out and placed the blade about a centimeter from his pinky finger. "You have to work up. Now," he said, staring into Henry's terrified eyes. "How do we get out of here?"

"T-there's a button on the bottom of the desk! It unlocks everything!"

"See, that was easy." Jack said as he strolled over to the desk and pressed the button. "Now who do you work for?"

"I-I can't! They'll kill me!"

"What makes you think that we won't?" Seras said, trying to sound threatening. "Who do you work for?"

"N-no!"

Jack walked back over and pointed his gun at the man's hand. "This shoots a 15mm explosive bullet, what do you think will happen if I shoot?"

The man squealed in horror; that was a REALLY big gun. "Okay! Don't shoot! I'll tell you everything! I work for –" He was cut short by several men with Uzis barging room. They opened fire, shooting Henry in the head several times, shattering his skull, spewing blood and brains around the immediate area. With Henry dead they turned their attention to the Hellsing personnel, spraying bullets in every direction.

Jack swore. This was the last thing they needed. He dashed between the troops and the attackers. He took several bullets to the chest and stomach in the process but it didn't matter. He raised his gun and started shooting. Alucard was still sitting squeezing off headshots and regular intervals and Seras was already reloading her pistol. Jack aimed for the center of the group and emptied his clip, shredding five men's torsos and in the process creating several large holes in the wall.

The troops behind Jack soon opened fire. In a few seconds it was over, the attackers all lay on the ground dead, or dying; their blood seeping into the carpet, mixing with the blood already there. One of the men crawled toward the Uzi he had dropped when he was shot. Jack walked over toward him slowly. The man grabbed his gun and opened fire at Jack, sending hot lead into his stomach and chest.

Jack looked down at his chest. "Try silver bullets next time." He slammed another clip into the Hellcat and fired. The bullets squeezed themselves out as Jack turned around. "You guys okay?" Jack asked the troops.

"Yes sir, no casualties."

"Good." Jack looked at Henry's headless corpse. "I don't suppose he's going to be any use now. Of course he was talking to Alucard," Jack looked over at the chair behind the desk. It was empty. "Who has disappeared. I hate it when he does that."

"Alright." Seras said as she took command. "Go secure the building and make sure the exit is unlocked. Jack you stay here with me."

"Roger. Alright, let's go!" The troops left the room in formation, and weapons ready.

"What is it Master?" Jack said as he holstered his gun.

"Jack," she said in a serious tone. "I want you to drink my blood." She pulled out one of the knives that held what was left of Henry to the wall.

"What?"

"I," she spoke slowly, "want you to drink my blood. Then I will no longer be your master, and you will become true undead." She took the knife in her hand and dragged the tip across her forearm. She winced slightly as the blade cut her flesh, but achieved the desired result of warm flowing blood. She held out her forearm to him. "Here." She said.

Jack was a little taken aback at his master's request. It wasn't as much as the nature of the request as it was the sudden timing. Was he ready? Sort of. He was strong, no doubt about that. Fueled by anger and hatred of Anderson he had actually been drinking more blood than he probably needed, and had been relentless in his training, but was he ready for this? Self doubt filled his mind. If he did kill Anderson what else was there to do? Kill vampires for the Hellsing family for the rest of eternity? Turn into the very thing he hunted? He pushed all of those thoughts out of his mind; he'd figure that out when he got there. His master must have had a reason for offering her blood to him, and that was good enough for him, but what the hell was it?

Jack decided to finish his internal conflict at a later time. Seras probably had her reasons. He stared at the open wound and looked at the flowing blood. He moved his head towards the wound and stuck out his tongue. After a moment of hesitation his licked the blood off Seras' arm slowly and swallowed.

He looked around. "That's it?" he asked in a puzzled tone.

"Pretty much" she chirped.

"Whatever."

They left the room a few moments later, a puzzled look still on Jack's face. Alucard stepped out from the shadows and took his sunglasses off. "Very interesting Police Girl."

"Well what were you expecting?" Seras asked as they walked down the hall toward their room.

"I dunno. Something."

Seras stretched her arms out and yawned. "I don't know about you but I'm going straight to bed."

"I'm still gonna be up for a while."

"Well," she said as she reached for her doorknob, "just don't stay up to late."

"You mean early."

Seras laughed. "Goodnight Jack." She opened her door and gave Jack a smile before stepping inside.

"Goodnight Seras." Her door closed and Jack walked off. "Can regenerate any part of my body but still don't have a fucking spine." He though to himself as he opened his door. He was going to change out of his bloody uniform and then go break more bricks. "Dammit." He though to himself again.

Preview:

Seras: We haven't done one of these things lately.

Jack: Nope.

Seras: Wonder why.

Jack: They're stupid and random.

Seras: I though everyone loved that stuff?

Walter: Cheesecake?

Seras & Jack: What?

Walter: The next episode, Stuff Alucard Does When He's Alone!

Seras: That's not the name!

A/N: Forgive me for the preview, I just had to. I love those things.

A/N: Once again, thanks to my editor.

Chagrin is a real word - A keen feeling of mental unease, as of annoyance or embarrassment, caused by failure, disappointment, or a disconcerting event.


	6. Lesson

Order 19: Lesson

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime, pennies however, are another story.

A/N: Review or I'll cry and stuff.

Jack filled up his shot glass with more Jack Daniel's, spilling a bit on his table in the process. He was lying on the couch, one leg propped over the back, and he had also pulled the table closer to the couch, and it was now sitting in a weird angle compared to the rest of the room. He placed the mostly empty bottle next to some knocked over shot glasses. The BBC was on the TV, but Jack had apparently rolled over on the remote and hit the mute button. He raised the glass to his lips and swallowed.

He usually didn't drink this much, but dammit, this job was driving him to it. Drinking blood he could handle. Killing vampires and ghouls? No problem. Killing people? Not so easy. Drinking a bottle of Jack Daniel's? Can't really handle that one. Jack gazed at the clock. He hadn't slept in over 25 hours. After Seras went to sleep he broke bricks and stuff for the next six to seven hours. After that he took a shower, drank some blood, after a few hours of sitting he found the Jack Daniel's after a search of the mess area.

Killing ghouls and vampires didn't bother him much. Regular people however were a different story. When you kill ghouls and vampires they turn into dust and disappear. People however leave behind fleshy meats. When you get to see what an explosive 15mm bullet does to the human body, the results are definitely not pleasant.

Jack grabbed the bottle and emptied it. He considered getting up and splashing cold water on his face, but decided against it. An attempt to stand at this point would probably result in disaster. He was content to lie on the couch in his own drunken stupor until the effects of the alcohol had worn off. Well, maybe he would get up. He did remember seeing a bottle of vodka in the cabinet too. No bad idea. Probably couldn't find it if it was right in front of him anyway.  
He settled back down into the cushions of the couch. His mind wandered to Anderson. He was nowhere near a good with a sword as he was. What he did have going for him was that his sword was stronger and sharper, and dumb luck definitely helped. If he could get Anderson's swords out of his hands he could probably kill him. He could break his neck, or break his skull. Lots of breaking things, because crushing his windpipe didn't seem like a good thing to try again. Maybe if he punctured it. Nah, just go with the sure kill.

Not the too sure kill. Shooting him wouldn't be nearly as fun. If anything his gun was too big. Forget improving aim, the bullets just got bigger to compensate. Besides, part of this is honor. No honor in shooting someone, unless the other guy has a gun, which he didn't. No matter how it ended, Jack was sure it was going to be messy, very messy.

Anderson wasn't as hopeless as Alucard had described. It didn't matter anyway. Half the reason be lasted so long last time was he surprised him. Anderson also was trying to gauge his abilities. Next time he would be much more aggressive.

Jack buried his face in the soft cushions. It didn't matter. He would have jumped Anderson again, even if he knew he was going to be skewered with those god damn knives he kept throwing. He was going to kill Seras, and he wouldn't let that happen.

He sat up. His headache was starting to disappear. Apparently being a vampire included reduced 'so drunk you can't stand' time. He pushed the table back to its original position and stood up, balancing himself on the sofa's arm. He walked to his bathroom and rinsed his mouth out with his mouthwash. He splashed his face with cold water and changed into blue jeans and a grey t-shirt. He put on a jacket and grabbed a pistol; his Hellcat was too big for this. He needed a walk.

Jack walked down the busy streets of London. His headache was gone and the crisp air invigorated him. You could barely see clouds in the air, and a fine drizzle came down from them. Of course this was London; it was always cloudy and rainy. Jack looked at everyone walking past him. They had no idea what actually went on. How many times they had been saved by people they would probably never meet.

His mind wandered back to where he was before he left the confines of his couch. Seras. He didn't know how she did it. She had been a vampire for longer than he had and she still had a positive outlook, and all around cheerful personality. He was a vampire for about a month and a half and he was a bottle of scotch away from one of those alcoholic support meetings they held every Tuesday night. You wouldn't notice she was a vampire if you looked at her, well besides the fangs and the eyes, but you pretty much wouldn't notice. If he had to sum up Seras up in one word, it would have to be cute.

He enjoyed her company, and something about her always made him feel better about himself. Seras was the first girl Jack had been interested in for a few years. He'd just been too busy with school and everything else that seemed to happen for a girlfriend. It didn't help that he was never good with women in the first place. The majority of the extent of his knowledge of women was giving his friends bad advice and watching it blow up in their face, which was always fun. But he did buy them drinks afterward so he never felt too bad about it. So in theory all he had to do was do the exact opposite of his advice…

But what did it matter? It wasn't like he was going to say anything. Getting the nerve to ask her out wasn't the hard part. The hard part was what happened immediately afterward. What if she said no? He didn't like rejection, and then there would be all the wonderfully awkward moments afterward. Of course what if she said yes? Pretty much all standard date ideas where shot when you can't have actual food, and he'd probably blow it, and that would lead to awkward moments. So at the moment it was more or less a no win situation, so he was gonna keep his mouth shut. Better to keep you mouth closed and be thought of as a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt.

Jack stopped at the corner of the street. He waited for the cars to drive by before walking across.

"Jack? Jack is that you?"

Jack turned around. The man behind his was a centimeter shorter than Jack was. His pale complexion emphasized his red hair, dark eyes, and dark clothing. It took a few moments for Jack to match the voice and face to a name. "Hey Drew." He said back.

"Dude, where the hell you been? You just go poof for about two months! That or you robbed a bank and bought an island in the Caribbean. Or you were dead. Whichever one."

"Do I look dead to you?"

Drew chuckled. "Almost. Man, what happened to you?"

"A bottle of Jack Daniel's."

"The entire bottle?"

"Yeah."

"Well I have to say you're about a couple drinks away from dying of alcohol poisoning." He paused for a moment. "Let's go get a drink. Follow me."

"Fine…" They walked down the street. Jack could see the pub down the street; of course he doubted that Drew could.

"So where the hell you been man?"

"Around."

"Oh, I see how it is. You disappear and don't want anyone to know what dirty sinful business you've been up to."

"Pretty much."

"That much sin eh? Sounds like you've been having a lot of fun."

"I wouldn't call it fun."

"Suuuure. Whatever you say. So anyway, what's up with your eyes man?"

"Shit." Jack thought up to himself. Now what sounds plausible? "Laser eye surgery."

"Last time I checked that didn't fuck up your eye color."

"The guy botched it. Got a nice settlement from it." They reached the door of the pub. Jack pushed it open and walked in.  
"Then you won't mind paying for the drinks then." Drew took a stool at the bar. "Scotch."

"Ugh." Jack took a seat and slumped over. "Just water for me." The bartender placed their drinks in front of them a few moments later.

"Dammit!" Drew said as he took a sip from his drink. "I just realized something. That bastard Michael won the pool!"

"You had a betting pool on when I would show up?"

"Of course and that lucky son of a bitch Michael won! That is…Jack I need you to disappear and show up in about two weeks."

"No."

"Come on! I'll be your best friend!"

"Shut it."  
"Oh fine then."

For the next twenty minutes Drew rambled on about what had happened in the past two months. Jack wasn't really paying attention, but nodded and gave an 'uh huh' every once in while to make it seem like he was. He looked down at his water and returned his thoughts to earlier. It might just be easier to say something and get it over with it. Of course it might not. He would probably laugh at himself in about 100 years for thinking about all this stuff. That's right, he would live forever, or until the sun exploded in a few billion years, if working for Hellsing didn't do it first.

Drew's cell phone rang. "Hello? Well I'm at a pub. Well yeah I suppose. Do I have to? Alright, I'll be right there." Drew put his phone away. "Well Jack, I gotta go. I'll see ya later."

"Still whipped I see."

"Well at least I have someone to be whipped by." He grinned. Jack kicked him in the shin. "Ow! I thought they taught you discipline with that stuff!"

"They do. Just not for you." He kicked him again in the same spot.

"Dammit I'm gonna have a bruise the size of a ping pong ball there now. Jackass. I'll see you later." Drew walked stood up and walked out of the pub.

Jack just sat there for the next hour. He left money where he was sitting and walked out into the streets. A few minutes of wandering lead him into a quiet park. He walked down the cobblestone path for a while. He spotted a bench under a large tree and sat down and closed his eyes. God his head still hurt.

When his eyes opened again he was no longer where he should be. The park had disappeared. What was left was black lined with crimson.

"You've been training in that little room of yours for a while now." Jack tilted his head back and saw Alucard's outline against the shadows. "Let's see what you've learned."

Jack stood up and faced Alucard as the bench disappeared. "You've got to be kidding me."

Alucard drew two barrettes and held them at his side. "Don't worry, the bullets are lead."

Jack stretched his neck and tried to loosen up, trying to ignore his throbbing head. "I hope you'll go easy on me."

"The Police-Girl would be quite upset with me if I killed you, so I wouldn't worry." Alucard raised his guns and fired.

Jack jumped to the right, dodging the bullet, and charged. When Alucard fired again he jumped away and continued running. Jack got to Alucard before he fired again. Jack jumped in the air, spun around, and knocked one of Alucard's guns out of his hand. Jack landed and turned around with a back pivot kick to Alucard's chest which knocked the No Life King back a bit. A second kick to Alucard's head never made it. Alucard caught Jack's foot at the ankle in front of his face. His eyes glinted from behind his orange sunglasses as he flung Jack a good twenty meters away.

Jack hit the ground rolling. He quickly regained control and sprang up to his feet, grabbing the gun he had hidden in his jacket. He started running and aimed, fired three shots, and missed horribly. Alucard never even moved, he just aimed and shot Jack in the leg. Jack's leg gave out under him and he tripped and fell, hitting the ground with a thud. He turned and shot at Alucard again, this time hitting him in the right arm. Alucard didn't bother looking and shot Jack in the arm. Jack emptied the rest of his clip, hitting Alucard in the shoulder and grazing his leg. Alucard emptied his clip by shooting Jack in the other arm and leg.

Jack just lay on the ground, bleeding form each bullet hole. Pain radiated from each of them, as well as the headache Jack had when they had started. Alucard walked over to Jack and aimed his gun to his head. "Bang, you're dead. Do you know why?" He lowered his pistol and placed it in his jacket.

"Because I'm a vampire."

"Besides that."

"You shot me."

"No, it's because you didn't shoot the way we taught you." The shadow they were encased in faded away, revealing the park once more.

"It's different when you're being shot at."

"No its not." Alucard's voice was angry. "There is no difference. You just didn't try. You'll use that gun until you can shoot like a proper vampire, until then, I'll just borrow the Hellcat. Making your bullets do all the work is no way to shoot." Alucard grinned as he faded into shadow.

Jack laid there motionless, staring up at the sky. The clouds were breaking and the stars shone intensely. He forced himself into a sitting position and picked the bullets out of their holes. After a few minutes he stood, using the bench for leverage. He winced a little, his legs still hurt from being shot. He looked around, and starting walking back.

It took Jack a half an hour to get back. He took a shower, changed out of his bloody clothes, shaved, and brushed his teeth. He took a look at himself in the mirror. He looked normal, save for the heavy bags under his eyes. He collapsed on his couch and tried to sleep. Tried being the key word. He sat back up and left the room. He slouched through the compound until he reached the roof.

He lay down and positioned his head on an air duct. He gazed up at the sky once more and after twenty-eight hours of consciousness, Jack promptly fell asleep.

Seras opened the door to the roof. It was still dark outside, but the sun would soon be rising. She yawned. Almost time for bed. She stepped out and admired the stars. They were fading but were still beautiful. She walked over to where Jack was sleeping and looked at him. By looking at him you wouldn't be able to tell he was a vampire. He looked innocent as human as he slept. Unfortunately if she didn't wake him up, he would burn to a crisp in the sun. She kneeled down and shook him gently. "Hey." She whispered, "Wake up."

She waited. Nothing. She shook him a little harder. Nothing. Seras sighed. She pulled her pistol out and fired a shot into the air. Jack darted up from his sleep and looked around for the source of the shot. He saw Seras trying to contain her laughter. "Very funny." He grumbled, rubbing his eyes. He plopped his head back onto the vent and closed his eyes again.

"Oh come on, you need to go inside."

Jack groaned. "Five more minutes."

Seras grabbed his arm and dragged him toward the door. "I can drag you down the stairs you know."

"Oh fine." Jack used his free had to get to his feet. He swayed a little, he was still groggy and his body didn't seem to want to do what his brain was telling him. He followed Seras down the steps toward the basement.

"Alucard told me about what you did tonight." Seras said in a concerned tone.

"Did he now?" Jack replied, his brain still trying to jumpstart all its functions.

"You're worrying me Jack. I mean, I can understand a little, but a whole bottle?"

"Trust me, stupid idea, never doing it again." Jack rubbed his head, it still hurt.

"He also said you have a rather strong kick."

"Well, he has a rather hard throw, and an accurate shot."

"Well that's Alucard for you. He also said something about 'an interesting train of thought'. I'm not quite sure what he was talking about though."

"What? Can he read minds or something?"

"Actually, yes."

Jack's eye twitched. They talked a bit as they walked through the compound, until they reached Jack's room.

"Now, no more alcohol and get some sleep."

"Yes Master." He opened the door and stepped inside. He turned around and looked at Seras. "Goodnight Seras."

"Goodnight Jack." Seras said with a smile.

Preview

Seras: Why do we always get stuck doing these things? Why does Alucard never get his ass out here?

Jack: 'Cause he could kick our ass with one hand tied behind his back. Now stay still, you heard him, I need target practice

Seras: Why me?

Seras & Jack: Tune in next time for the next episode: Target Practice.

Seras: See it's not so hard.

A/N: If you can find a title from a Hellsing anime episode somewhere in here, you get a gold star.

A/N: Thanks to my editor Kougra and to all my reviewers. You guys keep me goin'.

A/N: See, I'm making Jack interesting and not perfect and stuff! I'm not crazy; I'm the only one who's not crazy!

A/N: Never seen Dawn of the Dead. Missed it, so any resemblance to said movie is purely coincidental.


	7. Target Practice

Order 20: Target Practice

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime. I'm not even making any pennies off of this whatsoever. The entire idea goes out to the creator of the show itself, not me.

A/N: Review or I'll cry and stuff.

There was nothing. All was white, pure, blinding white. Seras found herself standing on nothing. She looked around, looking for something, but none was found. She heard the laughter of children behind her and turned around to see where it was coming from. She turned and found what could only be described as an angel.

It floated on great white wings, barely visible due to the color of the background. Its golden blond hair fell on fair skin and rosy cheeks, completed with a warm smile and sparkling blue eyes. It wore armor of gold and silver, a cross on the middle of the breastplate. It held a broad sword in front of it, the handle made of ivory and silver.

Seras looked into the angel's eyes. Its expression changed into something wicked. It plunged its sword into Seras chest. She doubled over and watched her blood cover the blade, seeping over the hilt.

Blood engulfed the angel, and began to vanish, leaving behind a very different looking figure behind. The once white wings were now dark black. The armor was scarlet and black; the sword's hilt was now black, twisted from its former elegant form. Her hair was now black, her face twisted into an evil grin, and her eyes now matched the ruby shade that Seras had. Blood dripped down from the angel's mouth. A deep maniacal cackling echoed into oblivion. The twisted angel now pulled the sword out of Seras' chest and lunged at her throat.

Seras awoke screaming and shot up to a sitting position. She was shaking and if it was possible, she was paler than usual. She looked around. She was still in her room, on her bed. She checked to make sure she wasn't stabbed. Nothing. She collapsed back on her bed, still shaking. "It's just a dream, dreams can't hurt you." She thought to herself.

Jack kicked in the door a moment later, pistol in his left hand, katana in his right. He scanned the room and checked behind the door. "What's going on!"

"Nothing." She rolled over and buried her face in a pillow.

"Didn't sound like nothing to me." He placed his weapons on the table. "What happened?"

"Just bad dream. It's nothing."

"You sure?"

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine. Wanna tell me about it?"

"Don't worry about it Jack. It's not a big deal."

"If you insist."

He moved to grab his sword and gun. "But," she said, "If you want to hang around I won't stop you."

Jack chuckled to himself. "Alright." He pulled up a chair and sat down.

Jack left twenty minutes later when he was sure Seras was sleeping. He closed the door slowly and started walking upstairs. He stopped. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough." Alucard poked his face out of a wall. "So protecting the Police-Girl from bad dreams are we?"

"Vampires don't dream do we?"

"Of course not. Why would we need to?"

"Then what did Seras see?"

"It's too early to say for sure, but let's just say that the Police-Girl has more power then she lets on."

Jack turned his head but Alucard was already gone. He hated it when that happened. He shrugged it off and walked up the steps. He took the first right and walked into the mess area. The men were sitting at the tables talking to each other all the while stuffing their egotistical faces with food. He walked to the back of the room and pushed open the door. He walked past most of the kitchen staff, strait to a refrigerator. He opened it and looked in. Blood bags. A lot of them were lined around the refrigerator just waiting to be drunk. He checked the label on each one and pushed them to the side. Finally he hit pay dirt. O negative. It was the vampire's equivalent of surf and turf.

He took the bag out of the refrigerator and found a glass. He tore the bag open and emptied the bag into the glass. He tossed the empty bag into the garbage and walked out, taking a drink of blood every now and then. He wore a small smile on his face as he walked back down to his room. Today was shaping up to be a good one.

He opened his door and jumped onto the couch. He turned the TV on and stretched out. He finished his blood and turned the TV off. A nap sounded good right about now.

Of course it didn't last long. A knock came at the door. "Come in." Jack sat up and ruffled his hair.

Walter stepped in. "I hope I haven't disturbed your sleep."

"Don't worry about it."

"Well I have arranged for what you asked for. If you will follow me."

Jack followed Walter upstairs to a large room. Several troops in body armor were hanging out in the center. Walter walked over to a corner and picked up two barrettes off the table, along with several clips of ammunition. "These are filled with rubber bullets, with a decreased amount of gunpowder for safety reasons. Now I must be going."

"Thanks Walter." Jack placed the clips into his pocket and took the two guns into his hands. "You guys ready?"  
"Sir, yes sir!" The troops said in unison.

"Okay then, let's get started." He cocked his guns and darted off to the other side of the room, and started firing.

Integra watched the monitors with a casual interest. She watched as the troops and Jack had their mock firefight. So far Jack had won twice and the troops had won once. Walter had entered the room a moment later. "I don't enjoy having to take care of another vampire. However, Walter, what do you think of him?"

"Mister Owens seems capable, if anything."

"He's missing too much."

"He never had any previous formal training with firearms. From what I heard from Alucard he has improved, but not as much as he would like."

"What else does he do?"

"He had extensive martial arts training and he's proficient with a sword."

"Mmmm." She looked at the screen again. "Walter do get my sword for me?"

"Of course Sir Integra."

Jack jumped to his side as he opened fire on the troops, hitting them in the chest with his shots. Jack stood up. "You up for another round?"

Integra stood in the doorway holding Jack's sword. "That will not be necessary." She tossed him his katana and pulled her own sword out of its sheath.

Jack sighed. He placed his sheath on the table and readied himself. They both circled each other. Integra attacked first, swinging her sword at Jack's head. Jack blocked and counterattacked with a swing to the stomach. Integra jumped back and they started circling again. Jack attacked with a swipe at the legs. Integra blocked and stabbed in retaliation. Her attack glanced off the side of Jack's sword and he positioned the base of the blade next to Integra's neck. Jack smiled and lowered his blade.

"Mr. Owens I would like to introduce you to Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing, head of the Hellsing organization."

Jack bowed. "A pleasure."

Cornel Ewell barged into the room. "Ma'am we have a situation!"

"What it is?"

"A member of parliament has been taken hostage ma'am! Intelligence says that the building that he's being held in is guarded by a heck of a lot of ghouls. Shall I get the men ready?"

"No. Find Alucard and Seras. We have vampires around for a reason."

Jack sheathed his sword and took out a clip of silver bullets he always had on him. "Seras is sleeping. I'll take care of it."

Integra glared at Jack. "Fine then. You and Alucard will take care of the situation. Go."

"Thank you Sir Hellsing." Jack walked out of the room.

"You're all dismissed." Integra stood alone in the room.

"So Master," Alucard said. "What do you think?"

"I suppose I can tolerate him."

Alucard walked next to her. "That's high praise coming from you."

"What I don't know, however, is how I tolerate you."

"I always though you enjoyed my company." He said sarcastically.

"What can you tell me about him?"

"Most of it is in Walter's report. But one thing that was left out."

"What would that be?"

"He seems to have quite the…oh what do you humans call it…crush on the Police-Girl."

Integra said nothing.

"Nothing Master? I was under the impression that human women found that sort of thing…cute."

"There is nothing cute about something that could endanger the lives of my troops and the people of my country."

"Well Master, it is good to have you back."

Reporters and curious onlookers were restrained by police officers and yellow caution tape. The red and blue lights of police reflected off the wet ground. Jack had put on his street cloths. He walked up to the tape and moved it up. He crouched down and got on the other side of the neon yellow tape.

A police officer pushed him back. "You can't cross. We have a situation."

Jack sighed in recognition as he realized that these people really were clueless. "I'm with the government." That line always worked. He walked past them and walked through the front door. He looked around. The walls were splashed with blood. This was definitely the work of a vampire.

He walked around. Odd. No ghouls. The government office was supposed to be staffed with at least fifty people at the time of the attack. He stopped and listened, nothing on this floor. He followed the signs on the wall and found the stairs. The target was supposed to be on the fifth floor. He trudged up the stairs, grumbling about how the lift was broken. He reached the fifth floor and opened the door.

There were ghouls everywhere. Thank god, this was starting to seem like a waste of time. He pulled out one of his barrettes and started opening fire. He dropped seven ghouls in an instant and dropped the spent clip from his gun. He was reloading his berretta when the ghouls finally realized he was there. The first ghoul to come through the doorway had its head crushed under a punch. Jack walked into the hall and looked at the oncoming hoard of ghouls coming his way. He took out his second berretta and grinned.

Alucard pointed the Hellcat at the back of the vampire's head. He was quite jealous; it was very fun to play with. "Is this what vampire filth do now? Kidnapping humans for power?"

The vampire turned around from looking out the window. "Wha? Who are you! Get back! I'll kill him!" The vampire pulled a pistol and aimed it at a man bound and gagged with duct tape.

Alucard cackled. "Go ahead. I don't care. Human's can't give you power." Alucard squeezed the trigger slightly. "But in Hell you won't have to worry about that now will you?" Alucard pressed down on the trigger, this time sending the blessed silver bullet out of the barrel, into the vampire's head, turning him into dust. Alucard walked over and sat on the desk next to the gagged Member of Parliament. "They just don't make 'em like they used to do they?"

He tried to say something, but all that came out was a muffled sound because of the duct tape. Alucard preferred it that way. This is one time a politician would shut up for a while.

Jack ducked behind a corner. Apparently when the vampire made his entrance he also deemed it necessary to have then human cohorts, with assault weapons. Jack calmed himself as he reloaded. Third eye. He popped out and fired three shots from each gun. Missed every shot. Well then. He took another couple shots. This time he actually killed two of them. He reloaded again. He turned the corner and opened fire, moving to the other side of the hall as he took down another four of the men.

His guns clicked. He was out. He threw his guns down and ran towards the enemy, dodging incoming fire. He plunged a spear hand through one man's neck and twisted around with a crescent kick that crushed another man's skull on impact. Several bullets tore their way into Jack's chest as he severed a man's spine at the neck. The last man stopped firing and backed up in fear.

Down below his body came crashing down on a police car.

Jack wisely took the back door out of the building. He placed his guns back in his jacket and briskly walked out into the ally below. He looked at his glove. There was blood soaked into the white glove. He stopped and looked at it. He was thirsty.

He looked at it. Dammit. He sucked the blood off the glove. He was going to have to get another blood packet out of the refrigerator when he got back.

Alucard grinned with approval from the shadows.

Preview:

Jack: Another one of these things again.

Seras: Yep.

Pause

Jack: Yep.

Walter: Cheesecake?

Seras: You said that already!

Order 21: Judas Priest

A/N: Would like to thank my editor, who has apparently changed her name to Dark-Mage-Quisits.

Surf and turf is a term for lobster and steak if you didn't know.


	8. Demons

Order 21: Demons

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime. I'm not even making any pennies off of this whatsoever. The entire idea goes out to the creator of the show itself, not me.

A/N: Review or I'll cry and stuff.

A/N: Let's go for 5 reviews for this chapter. Okay? Okay.

Seras swore as she rummaged through the refrigerator. It was already turning out to be a bad day. She had sworn that she had hidden a bag of O negative somewhere in the back. She sighed as she pulled out a bag of B positive out and closed the door. She opened the cupboard door where the glasses were kept. Nothing. This just wasn't her day. She ripped off the top of the bag and drank the bag like a juice box.

She stepped out to the mess hall. The noise died down as she entered the mess hall. She started walking to the other side. Morons. She could hear everything they were saying. It seemed every time she entered a room they had something nasty to say about her, from what they though was behind her back. About 0.01 percent of this was comments about her being a "monster". The other 99.99 percent involved one of three things: her boobs, her sexual history, and just about every other depraved perverted act they could think of.

Pigs.

What bothered her most is that most of them hadn't even bothered talking to her. She wasn't like that at all. Before she left the room she gave everyone a glare that Alucard would have been proud of. She closed the door behind her and walked down the halls toward her room.

Walter's head popped out from behind a door. "Ms. Victoria."

Seras turned around. "Hello Walter."

"Ms. Victoria could you come take a look at this?"

"Sure." She walked into the room Walter was in. TV's lined the walls on one side, along with other surveillance equipment. "What'cha need?"

"Well Ms. Victoria, look at this." Walter pointed to a monitor in the middle of the array. It was live feed from a camera pointed outside. "As you see, someone has been loitering outside of the compound. She's been there since Mr. Owens came back. You wouldn't happen to know who this is would you?"

Seras looked at the TV. It was obviously a woman, dressed in black. "No, can't say I know. I'll ask him if I see him."

"Thank you Ms. Victoria."

"Bye Walter." She waved and left the room. Why would someone be hanging out in front of a warehouse? This was definitely not the place that a woman should hang out alone. She walked down the stairs and headed toward Jack's makeshift training room. She looked at the door. She hadn't seen much of Jack lately. He was always in the damn room, breaking building materials, hell-bent on trying to kill Anderson.

That bothered her.

He was the only one who really spent time with her. Walter was nice to her, but he was usually busy. Alucard was, well, Alucard. Integra just gave her orders and told her to leave. It was…lonely. For the past few months Jack was an pleasant change from the normal, get up, drink blood, kill stuff, go back to sleep, type of day she had been having. Jack was funny and she enjoyed their time together. Did she like him? Yes. Did she love him? Not really, too early to tell. She was always careful when it came to things like this. She'd had some bad experiences with men; she didn't need to be hurt again…but…

She walked up to the door and turned the brass handle. She pulled it back with a creak and poked her head in. Hmmm. Not inside. She closed the door and went to the door to Jack's room and opened it. Sure enough, there he was. Christ, was that vodka? Seras' heart sank, it was. "Jack…"

Jack tilted his head back over the arm of the couch. "Evenin' Seras." He said with a grin.

"What did I tell you…"

"I know, I know," Jack said, interrupting her sentence. "This is my first," Jack held up a shot glass, "and last, one. I'm not stupid enough for a repeat of last time." He placed his glass on the table and swung around to sit upright.

Seras gave him a disapproving stare.

"Don't give me that look. Come on," he patted the cushion next to him, "sit down, have a drink."

Seras sighed. She walked over and collapsed on the couch, the soft cushions molding to her body, letting out a groan of relief. She pulled herself up strait and grabbed Jack's shot glass and swallowed the contents.

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Bad day?"

"Tell me about it." She placed the glass back on the table and slouched back into the tan cushions. "And I've only been up for a few hours." She closed her eyes and wiggled into a more comfortable position. She reminded herself about one of the reasons she was there. "Who is that woman waiting outside?" she mumbled.

"I dunno, she was bugging me. I though I lost her. Apparently not."

"Mmm." Seras grabbed the bottle of vodka and refilled the shot glass.

"It must be a very bad day then."

She nodded as she emptied the glass and tossed it back on the table. "You don't know the half of it." She leaned back and rested her head on Jack's shoulder.

Jack looked down at Seras. "Anything I can do?"

"Maybe." She said, looking up into his eyes.

The door opened and Walter stepped in. "I hope I haven't interrupted anything."

Jack's eye twitched a little. "No," he said, turning his attention to Walter. "Not at all."

"We have a situation."

"We have to go down there!" Seras yelled in protest, pointing down at two and a half meter tube to the sewer. "I refuse! It stinks!"

Jack rolled his eyes and sighed. While Ewell argued with her, he pulled back the large rusty guard on the tube with a squeak. He stared into the pitch dark tube, allowing his eyes to adjust. All clear. He pulled out one berretta and stepped in.

"HEY!" Seras yelled running into the tube after Jack.

"Finally decided to join me?"

"Not by choice." She jerked her foot back and forth. "Ewww…I think I just stepped in something. Why do we have to do this?"

"Because Alucard is on the other side of England and the troops are keeping the unsuspecting public out of here."

"I know that." She snipped. "I was just complaining."

"I don't like this either you know." He reached the end of the tube and stepped out into the main area of the sewer. There were two paths on each end, separated by flowing sewage and guard rails. The area itself was damp and cold, reeking of sewage. "Well this is certainly pleasant."

"Couldn't they have picked somewhere nicer?"

"I doubt it. So what's the plan?"

"Well, there's a lot of ground to cover. Let's split up."

"Alright. I'll go left. Keep in contact with the radio."

"Sounds like a plan. Be careful."

"You too."

Jack walked down the damp sewer walkway slowly. He heard something up ahead, possibly the target. He placed his back to the wall and turned around the corner with both of his guns out. He was about a meter away from a glinting silver cross. He looked up. Paladin Alexander Anderson. Fuck.

Seras pointed her Halconnen down the hallway she had just entered. Hearing anything was difficult, she was apparently close to some heavy machinery and the noise was becoming obnoxiously loud. She entered the next door to her right. She was on a metal balcony overlooking massive turbines and a room full of at least 100 ghouls.

"Jack," she whispered into the radio. She paused for a reply. "Jack? Jack do you read me?" Nothing. The ghouls seemed to notice her presence and started walking up the stairs toward her. All 100 of them.

Fuck.

Jack sprinted backwards. He didn't expect to see Anderson so soon. He could make things interesting given enough time, but this was definitely not enough time. He spotted a door off to his left. He turned quickly, losing his footing on some slime on the ground. He quickly recovered and ran, his hand outstretched to the knob.

He grabbed the knob but recoiled quickly, it was if the door was electrified. He looked up; one of Anderson's knives had attached a piece of paper to the door. Jack didn't recognize what was written on it, but that must have been why.

Anderson strolled toward Jack with an amused grin on his face, crushing his radio that had fallen off in Jack's haste. "There's nae way vampire filth can pass the barrier I have placed. Get ready for Hell ye vermin!"

Jack emptied both of his guns into Anderson's chest.

The bullets did nothing to stop the Catholic's pace. "Ya knoo that can't dae nothin' 'gainst me." He said in a bored tone.

"I know. It just made me feel better," Jack said, pure hate pouring from his voice.

Anderson stopped. "Are ye done?"

"Not really." Jack reloaded his guns.

"Good."

Anderson let loose a barrage of knives at Jack. Jack spun around to the left and fired at the incoming bayonets. He knocked several off course. His eyes went wide; one was still headed strait for him. He threw down his guns and grabbed.

The bayonet had pierced the skin right above the heart and was lodged midway through the bone of his ribs. Jack looked down, and then looked up and his hand, gripping the handle. He pulled it out and held it at his side. With his other hand he grabbed his katana. Anderson held his blades before his face and grinned.

"Time for a spot o' fun."

Seras ran as she reloaded her Halconnen with an explosive shell. She had been firing them into the crowd, drastically thinning out their numbers in a short period of time. Unfortunately there were still a mass amount of ghouls climbing up the stairs. She fired off her shot into the center of the crowd, watching the ghouls disappear into sand and flame. She stopped and looked behind her. They were coming in close. She placed her Halconnen on the ground. They were just ghouls after all.

She walked slowly toward the mass of undead in front of her. Her pupils contracted, and an evil grin crept up on her face. She ran into the group, leaving behind blood and gore.

Jack and Anderson exchanged glares at each other. Anderson's of twisted enjoyment, Jack's of pure loathing. Jack moved first, making a death rush at Anderson. The priest raised his blades into a defensive position, but they were swatted away by the bayonet that Jack held in his left hand. His katana tore into Anderson's stomach, upward to the middle of his chest. Jack flipped around to Anderson's back, discarding the bayonet and coming down with his katana from the shoulder to the thigh. Jack launched a kick into Anderson's back, sending him flying forward.

Anderson pushed himself up from the ground. "Ah see ya've been practicing," he said, turning around, blades once again ready.

Jack didn't respond, verbally at least. He took his thumb and index finger and placed them on the base of his blade. He moved his fingers up, cleaning the blood off the blade. He looked at the modest amount of blood seeping into his glove. After staring at it for a moment, Jack placed the two fingers into his mouth, sucking the blood out of the glove, all the while staring into Anderson's eyes.

Anderson looked on with a mix of disgust and disbelief. "Why ye fell beast." He said slowly, voice full of anger. "Ye DARE ta drink…" he trailed off. "Ta tae deepest pits o' hell with ye!" He screamed starting a charge, blades out to his sides.

Jack watched the paladin charge at him. If he wasn't before, he was pissed off now. Jack intently watched Anderson's blades come at him, placing his sword in front of his face, the blade parallel to the ground. Wait for it…wait for it…now! Jack swung into the paladin's swords, stopping the attack. They each stood still, pressing their blades against one another's, trying to get the other to yield first.

Anderson cut the clash short with a knee to Jack's stomach. He buckled forward, dropping his katana. The butt of one of Anderson's sword smashed into the back of Jack's head, dropping him face first. Jack rolled on the floor, attempting to stand again.

Anderson kicked him square in the ribs, sending him into the concrete wall behind him. "Ah do believe ah owed ye thea oon."

Seras crushed the last two ghouls head's together with a crunch. She looked around her. She was beginning to understand why Alucard didn't bother fighting them if he didn't have to, they were so stupid. She walked over to her Halconnen and picked up her ammunition box and the cannon itself. She swung the box over onto her back and took one more look around. Still no sign of the target.

She froze. Something overtook her senses. It was fear, desperation, and anger, pure seething anger, balled into one. And it was coming from a direction. Seras eyes widened. She took off in the direction she last saw Jack.

Jack had somehow managed to grab his sword and regain his footing, and was backed into the wall. It was actually going better than expected, he wasn't dead yet. Anderson's strikes were coming faster now, he was barely keeping up. One slip up and his head was going to be rolling on the ground. He jumped up hopped off the wall, hoping to get behind Anderson. Bad idea.

Anderson connected a kick into Jack's chest, sending him into the old guardrail in front of the river of sewage. He slumped forward, grasped his sword, jumped up and swung. Another bad idea. Anderson caught the blade between his own, twisting Jack's katana out of his hands and out of his reach, all while smashing his head against Jack's.

Jack was reeling. He spun to the right just in time to avoid being stabbed, but not fast enough to be throw back into the cement wall.

Seras turned a corner in time to see the horrific scene at the other end of the long hall. Anderson had Jack pinned against the wall, trying to stab him with both of his swords. Jack had grabbed Anderson's hands and was trying to keep the blessed blades from piercing his flesh.

Jack looked terrible. Blood dripped out from the corner of his mouth, his cloths were ripped, and he had cuts on his arms and legs. His arms shook, resisting the pressure that Anderson was applying.

Seras ran towards them, she might make it on time. Probably not. It hit her like an oncoming train, she could do nothing. For the first time in years Seras felt completely helpless. If she shot she'd hit Jack too. She couldn't run any faster, try as she might. All she could do was run and watch. It was horrible.

Anderson leaned over Jack with insane satisfaction, his silver cross crossing coming closer to Jack's chest. Anderson leaned over more; the cross fell on Jack's chest, erupting into flames. Jack screamed and his arms gave way, the blades entered on each side of his thigh with an extreme angle upwards, exiting out his back and going into the side of the wall. The screams of excruciating pain echoed throughout the sewer.

The sound filled Seras' head. "JACK!" Seras yelled in desperation. Something inside her snapped. Rational though was replaced with bloodlust, hate, rage, and hysteria. Seras kept running, not noticing that something was emerging out of her side, and crook of her neck. It was black and taking on human form. Shadow encompassed her; several more growths came out of various places. They extended toward Anderson, their form becoming more visible. Seras looked out to the side. She stopped running, but they still continued. They looked like that thing from her dreams. That was part of her?

They seemed to eat light. They encompassed Anderson, bent over backwards with his cackling laugh. He stopped and looked around. The black angels looked at him, holding their twisted swords covered in blood. He shot out several of his knives, striking one in the face. It pulled out the knife and laughed, throwing it into Anderson's shoulder. Two of the angels swooped down and impaled Anderson, sticking him into the wall next to Jack.

One came up towards him, and licked the blood that was pouring out of his mouth. "You're delicious," it said in a raspy low voice into his ear. "We're gonna eat you all up."

The Paladin reached into his jacket and disappeared in a flurry of pages of holy text.

The black angels were sucked back into Seras' body. She stood there, staring at Jack, looking dumbstruck at Seras.

"You don't have to help me you know." Jack said as Seras helped him exit the sewer into.

"Stop being so bloody stubborn, of course you need help." They exited the tube out into the rain. Seras helped Jack toward an armored transport. "Let's just get you home."

Jack tried to hobble the other way. "Bah, I'm taking a walk."

"You can't even stand, there's no way you can take a walk."

"Of course I can." He wiggled away from Seras and stood up. "See." He took a step and fell forward, but Seras caught him.

"See? You are in no condition to go out for a leisurely stroll."

"Pfft. You're coming with me then."

A soldier ran up. "Ma'am! We are prepared to return to base!"

Seras sighed. "I'll be staying behind with Owens. We'll return later."

"Yes ma'am!" he ran off toward the rest of the Hellsing personnel.

Jack smirked. "Now was that so hard?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go."

They had been walking/limping for fifteen minutes on the bank of the nearby river. The rain hadn't let up and they moved slowly to avoid falling.

"So," Seras started, "who was outside?"

"Some woman."

"You can be more specific than that."

"Well I was taking a walk," he started. "And I was apparently yawned at the wrong spot. So this woman sees me and starts bugging me about "turning her". Bothered the hell outta me. I thought I lost her, but I didn't."

"You just could have said that."

"Well, it's sorta embarrassing."

"It's happened to me before. Alucard usually frightens them off."

Jack eyed a bench. "Over here."

"Alright." Seras helped Jack sit down on the wet bench and sat down next to him, placing her hands out to her side. "You alright?"

"Well," Jack said, leaning his head over the back of the bench. "It hurts to walk and to breathe. Actually, moving in general hurts, other than that, I'm fine."

"It's been a hell of a day hasn't it?"

"Hell of a day."

Seras placed her hand on top of Jack's, giving it a gentle squeeze. Jack turned his hand upward and returned the squeeze.

They sat like that for the next several hours.

Preview:

Alucard: Why do I have to do this?

Integra: You wanted the week off.

Alucard: But this is stupid! It's not even a preview; it's just a bunch of random crap!

Integra: Live with it.

Alucard: I refuse!

Integra: Well it's already over.

Alucard: Really?

Order 22: (title to be determined)


	9. Reunion Tour

Off Time #1: Reunion Tour

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime. I'm not even making any pennies off of this whatsoever. The entire idea goes out to the creator of the show itself, not me.

A/N: Review or I'll cry and stuff. Seriously I know where you are.

* * *

Saying that Integra Wingates Hellsing was angry was like saying that the Atlantic Ocean was rather damp. "SHE WHAT?" She said.  
Alucard stood there, unfazed by his master's outburst. "Released her familiars...or demons, depending on which term you prefer."  
She slammed her hands down on her desk and leaned over. "I KNOW THAT!"  
"Then why did you ask?"  
Integra's anger went as quickly as it came as she collapsed back into her chair. She pulled out a cigar from the drawer and placed it between her lips. "I did not expect this to happen so soon." She grabbed her lighter out of her pocket. "Does this warrant a restraint system?" She flicked the top of her lighter back and lit her cigar.  
"For the Police-Girl?" Alucard sounded amused. "I highly doubt it. Though it was early, I suspect it will take her another..." Alucard paused and thought a moment. "50 years before she can even think about summoning them on will, let alone cause massive damage. I however..."  
"Shut up Alucard." She took a puff of her cigar and placed it on her ashtray. "Anderson?" she asked.  
"Ran home to the Vatican with his tail tucked between his legs...again. You really should let me to give him a visit." Integra glared at him.  
"You never let me have any fun."  
"Because your version of 'fun' involves mass slaughter."  
"Isn't everyone's?" he said.  
"Just leave." She watched as Alucard disappeared through the wall like always. She picked up her cigar and looked at the portrait of her father. She wondered if he ever had days like this. She doubted it.

* * *

For Seras, five months seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. All the sudden it was November and the weather became colder, the leaves fell from the trees, and the rain was replaced with snow.  
Incidents were kept at a minimum with raids on new FREAK chip labs, but each new lab didn't reveal anything that they didn't know in the first place. All leads were leading nowhere and it was driving MI5 crazy. Though the fewer amount of attacks made for a lot of free time.  
Jack and Seras spent most of their time together. Despite one of Jack's earlier worries they never ran out of things to do. One of Seras's favorite moments was when they went golfing and she beat the crap out of him. He apparently didn't know she had been playing golf since age six.  
"...and then I fell backward and landed flat on my back. It was the most painful and awesome thing ever." He waved his arms around as he walked down the sidewalk.  
Seras giggled and looked around. A little snow was floating to the ground, sticking to the concrete. People were walking down the street, driving down the road, eating in fancy restaurants. "It's a nice night." She said.  
"Yeah...it is. Rather chilly though."  
"That's okay. Now where are we going?"'  
"I thought you knew."  
"So we're wandering about aimlessly?"  
"Of course," he said.  
Seras rested her head on Jack's shoulder. "Next time, we plan on where we're going."  
"Pffft. That's no fun." He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer to him. "The journey is the destination man."  
"Oh please."  
"What? I'm not allowed to try to be deep every once in a while?"  
She laughed and pushed herself away from him. "No! Never!" she joked.  
He pulled her back. "You're so mean to me."  
"I know. Jack?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Are you okay? You've seemed distracted lately."  
"'Course. I'm fine."  
The sound of breaking glass and metal hitting brick came from behind them. Jack turned around to see a short, white haired woman dressed in blue coming directly for him screaming, "MY BABY!" over and over again. Jack stood there like a deer in the headlights when she tackled him to the cold concrete.  
The door opened again. A lanky bald man in a navy blue suit came out. His voice had a heavy English accent. "Dammit Charlotte get off the bloke before he decides to press charges." The man crossed his arms and tapped his foot. Jack stopped moving as the woman squeezed him more, still muttering 'my baby'. "Great. See there you go, you killed him."  
Seras stood there, flabbergasted at the scene before her. "Am I missing something?"

* * *

Jack paced back and forth through the beige hallway. His hands where wrapped around the sides of his head. "I mean how the hell was I supposed to know they were eating there! My parents never leave the house! They even pay someone to bring them groceries! I mean I'm supposed to be dead! This is not good!"  
Seras leaned on the wall, her hands tucked into her blue jeans. "Whining about it isn't going to do any good. We're in the house. We can't leave."  
"Maybe..." He rubbed his hands together. "Seras do you know how to hotwire a car?"  
"No. No I don't."  
"Drat." He snapped his fingers. "I'll have to learn how to do that."  
Seras stood up straight. "Jack its only one night with your family, I mean it can't be that bad can it?"  
"First thing, half my family is crazy. Second, I have no idea what happens when we have actual food. My mom is definitely going to push food on us. If I start vomiting blood everywhere and start melting or something, I have a feeling that would make for a very awkward family meeting."  
"Calm down Jack. We'll figure something out and, we're not gonna melt or anything. Besides, everyone thinks their family is crazy."  
"Just remember, I warned you." He waved her on down the hallway. They turned a corner at the end of the hall and entered the kitchen through the sliding door.  
The kitchen was painted an ugly shade of purple with shiny new metal appliances in the wall. It had an island in the middle of the hardwood floor with flowers and a fruit bowl on the cherry wood surface. Jack's mother took a pan off of the hanging counter and placed it on the hot stove next to a whistling kettle. The kitchen was lined with counters with cabinets above. The kitchen poked out of the house, so windows were on three sides, reveling a well-kempt garden.  
"Ah," Jack's mother turned around, "there you are dear."  
Jack leaned on the frame of the slide back door. "You're not gonna tackle me again are you?"  
She sighed. "Like I said, I'm sorry about that, but no word for months! You really need to call more." She took the kettle off the stove and got out a set of teacups. "Tea?"  
"No thanks." He walked into the back of the room and pulled up a chair.  
"What about your friend? Sorry dearie but what was your name again?"  
"Seras." She walked into the middle of the kitchen and leaned on the island.  
"Ahhh, well Seras would you like some tea?"  
"No thank you."  
"Alright." She poured some of the piping hot water into her teacup. "Well the pie will be ready in about an hour. Go sit down, we'll start when everyone gets here."  
Jack froze. "Wait..._everyone_ is coming?"  
"Of course, Stephen, Margaret, and Roger are all coming. I called them before we got in the car. They should be here in half an hour."  
"You have to be fucking kidding me..." he muttered.  
"What dear?"  
"Nothing."  
"Well, why don't you give Seras the grand tour?"  
Jack shrugged. "Why not." He got out of his chair and headed toward the door. "Let's go."

* * *

Jack flipped on the lights. The room was a shade of pale blue with dark blue carpeting. Almost everything had a fine layer of dust, and there were only three pieces of furniture in the room. A bed with a tan bedspread was pressed against the center of the back wall. An empty wooden computer desk sat in the corner to the left. Next to it was a tall bookshelf with a natural finish. Only half of it was filled with books, the rest was filled with things ranging from money, crumpled sales receipts, an old pair of scratched up sunglasses, and empty soda cans.  
"This is my room. Or was anyway." He walked in and sat down on the bed, shooting up a cloud of dust.  
Seras took a few steps inside and looked around. "Its sort of empty isn't it?"  
"I took most of the stuff when I went off to college. This is what I kept around for the occasional weekend visit."  
She walked to the bookcase and blew some of the dust away. Once the dust settled Seras grabbed a book. "So You Want to Lean French," she read. She placed the book back into its place and pulled out another one. "So You Want To Learn Spanish." She put it back and looked at the titles on the spines of the books. "French, Spanish, German, Dutch, Japanese, Chinese," she read. "Christ Jack, Did you read all of these?"  
"Of course."  
"Did you understand all of them?"  
"Oui," he grinned. "I'm multitalented," 

"Why? When are you going to need how to speak Chinese?"  
"My Chinese is a little rusty. But I actually wanted to be a translator for the UN."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah." He leaned back on the bed, propping his head up with the single pillow. "My parents forced French on me. I picked up the rest for some reason along the way."  
Seras sat down on the edge of Jack's bed. She stroked his hair. "Tell me something in French."  
"Les fraises sont sur le divan."  
Seras smiled. "I have no idea what that means, but it sounds romantic."

He chuckled. "It may sound that way, but it wasn't." Jack rolled off of his bed and stretched his arms. "Come on, I'll show you downstairs."

* * *

Charles Owens sat back in his favorite leather chair with his paper, his scotch, his cigar, and the news on the TV across the room. A good ending to a good night. He felt a draft. The double doors from the hallway opened and Jack and Seras stepped in. The room was a dark shade of maroon. There was an empty brick fireplace on one side with a lion head above it. In the top corners there were small black speakers for the TV. Leather chairs were positioned in front of the TV entertainment center, and tan leather couch was pressed against the wall, facing the fireplace. A small table sat between the chairs, a cigar box sat next to a lamp. "Oh there you are boy." Charles closed his paper, folded it, and placed it on his lap. "Take a seat." Jack and Seras took a seat on the couch. He rummaged around his jacket and pulled out a box of cigarettes. "Smoke?" 

Jack shook his head. "I quit."

"You missy?"

"No thanks, I don't smoke."

He tucked the box back into his jacket. "Ah, more for me then. So now, enjoying your stay?"

Seras nodded. "Yes. You have a lovely house." She looked around the room. "Is that a real lion head?" she asked slowly.

"Aye. In Africa I walked the plains for fifteen days with enough water to last ten. I found him on the fifteenth day, tired and weary." He raised his hands up. "I strangled the beast with me own two hands. Then dragged 'em into town." The room was dead silent. Seras's eyes were almost bugging out of their sockets and Jack had his face buried in his hands. Charles started laughing and slapped his knee. "I'm just kidding missy." He managed to say between each chuckle. "It's fake. Bought it from an old friend who had to get rid of it." He calmed down and took a sip of his scotch. "Come on. Charlotte should have the pie ready." He got up and left the room, turned down the hall toward the living room, and peaked his head into the living room. He turned around, "come meet the family." Charles walked back and pushed Seras into the room.

It was the same ugly color as the kitchen with matching fabric sofas and chairs. It seemed that the rest of Jack's family had shown up at some time or another and had been sitting around waiting.

Jack walked in with growing reluctance. "Seras, these are my brothers and sister. This is Stephen," he said, pointing. He wasn't particularly short, but wasn't all that tall. He had curled up in a chair with a book. He was in desperate need of a haircut. His dark brown hair hung over his hazel eyes.

He looked up from his book and gave a short wave. "Hey."

"That's Margaret, but we call her Maggie. Maggie and Stephen are twins."

"Hi!" she said in a high-pitched voice. She almost hopped out of her seat, waving at them rapidly. Her light brown hair hung at her shoulders against her light blue tank top. She ran up and gave Jack a hug. "Good to have you back big brother." She released him and hopped backward onto the chair that Stephen was on.

Jack seemed to become agitated. "And _that_ is Roger. Now if you excuse me." Jack left the room and walked toward the kitchen. Seras walked to him, paused, looked at Roger. He was tall with large arms, black leather jacket, hair, and pants, surly look. She continued following Jack to the kitchen.

Everyone sat around the table eating pie, save Jack and Seras.  
"...and so I got off th' bloody plane twenty minutes late." Roger complained as he took another drink of vodka. "So I go meet the fellas afterward at this pub, and we play a few things. Ya think they'd give ya something ta eat or drink. I suffer for meh art." Roger finished his story by finishing his drink. Apparently he had spent the last few years in Ireland trying to get his musical career underway. He had also acquired a slight accent, and a drinking habit.  
Jack's eye twitched, it was getting too much to bear.  
"Hey you two," Jack's mom pointed a fork at the both of them, "eat your pie."  
"Not hungry mom."  
"I'm watching my figure." Seras said.  
"I'm watching your figure alright..." Roger muttered.  
Jack's eye twitched again. Urge to kill rising. "So now dear, what happened to your eyes? You used to have such pretty eyes."  
"Laser eye surgery."  
"Last time I checked," Stephen said, "laser eye surgery didn't mess up your eye color."  
"The guy screwed up. Seras and I met when we were taking the guy to court."  
"Such a stupid story," she thought. But whatever it was working wasn't it? Seras nodded in agreement. "We took that guy to the cleaners."  
"So what do you do now?" Charlotte asked.  
"Well, Seras is in security, and I'm...helping."  
"What the feck!" Roger yelled as he slammed his fist against the table. "Jack is well off for doing nothing and I work my fingers to th' bone for me art and make nothin'!"  
"Nothing? How can you say nothing when that jacket is worth more than everything everyone else is wearing combined! If I you had actually earned half of the stuff you've mooched off of everyone then I would say it would be a grand achievement, however, since you have no useful skills…" Everything went downhill from there. Rodger started yelling which prompted Jack to start yelling and so on.  
Seras was in too much shock to really grasp what was going on, but Jack stormed off upstairs. Seras pushed back her chair and stood up. "I should probably go talk to him." She excused herself and walked upstairs to Jack's room. She knocked on the door and opened it. Jack was lying on the bed looking at the ceiling. "Jack..."  
"Hey."  
"You okay?" She sat down next to him on the bed.  
"Sorry you had to see that. It's just...everything he does pisses me off." He paused. "Please, could you just leave me alone for a bit?"  
"Yeah. Sure." She backed out of the room and closed the door.

* * *

Mrs. Owens sat on the porch. There was no moon or stars out. The only light was the ember from her cigarette. She looked out and took a deep breath. It was a long evening.  
Seras opened the door and walked out. "Oh, hello."  
"Please dearie, take a seat."  
"Thanks." She sat down next to her.  
"Don't think too badly of Jack." She spoke slow and clear. "As much as it breaks my heart, Jack and Roger don't get along. They never really got along to tell the truth." She got out another cigarette from the glass stand next to her chair and lit it. "You see..." she started, "Jack is my second. I tried to get pregnant for the longest time. We had given up on having children, we were even thinking of adoption. Then the good lord decided to bless us with Roger. I'm afraid in the five years before Jack came along we spoiled Roger. I suppose that Roger sees Jack as competition of some sort. They fought since they were able to walk." She took a long drag off her cigarette. She chuckled. "One of my friends said that children should be like pancakes. The first one doesn't turn out quite right so you should get to throw it out. But you love them...all their flaws aside. Keep that in mind when you have children of your own."  
Seras blushed. She didn't know how to answer. This isn't the usual conversation with someone you just met.  
"Now," she put out her cigarette. "You should probably go talk to him now dearie." 

Seras knocked on the door. "Jack? Jack you in there?" She tried the doorknob. "Jack, please open the door. Don't make me kick it down. I can wait all night ya know." It was true, she could wait all night, she just didn't want to. She leaned next to the doorframe and sighed. She supposed that Jack was right; meeting his family might have been a bad idea after all.  
"Hey babe." Roger had stumbled up the stairs, beer in hand.

"Oh, hello," she said.

"Ya know babe," he moved toward her. "I don't understand why you hang out with that bugger Jack." He took a swig of his beer and placed his arm against the wall next to Seras's head. "You ought to dump his ass." He got closer to her. He could smell the alcohol on his breath. "Maybe get with someone who knows how to please a woman." He leaned in and pressed his mouth against hers, and his hands on her chest.

"MMPH!" Seras pushed him off her, sending him tumbling into the wall behind her.

"Why you little bitch!" he said, running toward her. He was about halfway there before Jack came out of nowhere and knocked him down. He was knocked down and rolled into the wall.

Jack had a look of deep revulsion that Seras had never seen him use, even when regarding Anderson. It frightened her.

"Don't you EVER touch her again!"

Roger rolled over and pushed himself up. "What ya gonna do Jackie boy? Kung Fu me?" He turned around to him and grinned.

"Jack..." Seras grabbed his shoulder. "Calm down. Let's just go back to your room and talk." She pulled him back toward his room.

"If yer girlfriend's brain was half the size of her tits she would have made the right decision." Roger mumbled.

Jack's pupils contracted. He broke free of Seras's arm and charged at Roger, bearing his fangs. He grabbed him by the arm, twisted around and threw him. He hit and broke through the wall. Drywall and wood splintered as he smashed through to the room on the other side.  
Jack looked through the wall. Convinced that Roger was out cold, or dead, the latter being his preference, he walked down the stairs and out the front door, Seras right behind him. Jack stopped at the end of the driveway and rubbed his eyes.  
"Jack! What did you think you were doing? I mean, he's your brother! I'll admit that what he did was wrong but you don't throw your family through walls!"  
Jack's voice was relatively calm. "No one in Britain deserves to be thrown through the wall more than he does."  
"Jack, your family is your family! You can't try to kill them!"  
"I know..." Jack sighed. "Listen...I need to go."  
"Well I would think so. You're gonna take him to the hospital!"  
"Like I would waste my time taking him to the hospital. Like leave leave. There is one thing that's been bugging me that I need to do." He walked out into the middle of the street and milled around. "I'm going to leave and I don't know when I'm going to be back."  
"Where are you going?"  
"I have a rough idea, though not entirely sure. It's like I said before, where's the fun if you know where your going? I'll send you a postcard or call you or something..."  
"Jack I –"  
He ran his fingers through his hair. "Listen I'm sorry but if I do this it will make our lives much easier. It's just..."  
She threw up her arms. "If you have to do this go ahead and do it. I'm not your mother, I can't tell you what to do."  
"I love you ya know."  
"I love you too Jack."  
"I'll see you later." He turned around, waved, and walked off into the night.  
"I love you Jack, but..." She said to herself.

* * *

A/N: Figure out where I got the title and you get a gold star.  
A/N: Late? Me? Never! A/N: Yeah, pointless filler, little action, it gets better. I'm going somewhere with this Trust me. A/N: No I'm not telling you what the French translates into. A/N: Thanks to my editor again. 

PREVIEW:

Integra: Where the bloody hell is everyone?

Alucard: VACTION! IF YOU LIKE PINYA COLADA!

Integra: Dear god...


	10. Judas Priest

Off Time #2: Judas Priest

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime. I'm not even making any pennies off of this whatsoever. The entire idea goes out to the creator of the show itself, not me.

A/N: Review or I'll cry and stuff.

A/N: Takes place 7 months after last chapter. I know I'm skipping around, don't worry.

A warm July breeze flowed through Ferdinant Lukes Orphanage. All the lights from the main building were out, the children tucked safely away in their beds, blissfully unaware of what walked through its grounds.

Jack reached into his knee-length brown duster, Japanese Special Forces standard issue, and pulled out his katana. His eye caught the flicker of light from the small chapel on the edge of the grounds. Something that should not have been there was. It was a matter of honor now. He had been blindly defeated in battle twice by his arch nemesis and both times he had been brought to the ever-present brink of death. After all, the third time is a charm is it not? A field mouse rushed by on the damp green grass of the orphanage, but the sound of the scurrying rodent still registered and echoed deeply within his mind because of what he was.

Jack walked the cobblestone path slowly. Calm before the storm he chuckled to himself, and this was gonna be a hell of a hurricane. He supposed it was true; a strange detached feeling always hit him before anything happened- good, bad, or in between. But whatever the feelings were that took hold of him in the last minutes before battle; he had better things to do. Like revenge for instance. Now that was a task that brought a deadly smile to his lips. Revenge for Seras… for Alucard… even for Hellsing… but mostly it was his honor and piece of mind that needed avenging.

He pushed open the big oak double doors and walked briskly into the church. It had everything a church needs, perhaps more, with its rows upon rows of pews. The overhead lighting shimmered on the top of the holy water in what looked like a marble birdbath, a giant cross with the figure of Christ rested above the pulpit, and other religious materials every way you looked. Anderson was knelt in prayer at the foot of the cross. Right where Jack thought he would be. Right where he wanted him to die, begging for mercy from the same vampire he brought to its knees. Oh how ironic!

"Of all the little legends of vampires," he started as he took a step forward, "so few of them are true. Silver, garlic, aiming for the heart, blah blah blah. But what I do find interesting are the ones that aren't true. Crosses, hallowed ground, and in some cases the sun." He shut the door softly behind himself as to keep it on its heavy brass hinges and not rip the things off altogether with his vampiric strength.

Anderson rose, his back still turned. "Ye dare defile this house o' te Lord with yer presence!"

"Please, spare me the theatrics. I can come and go as I please." He raised his hands to the high ceiling. "The only reason I can think of, is that, God doesn't live here. Just statues, relics, and people dragged here to avoid the punishment of a cosmic babysitter that probably does not even exist except in your so-called 'Good Book'." He took a few steps forward and slid his duster off of his powerful arms to drape it over a pew. He reached around and unbuckled the two leather gun holsters strapped against his blue T-shirt. He tossed them aside.

"So it's just you, me," he looked toward Anderson and his look was one of pure fury shadowed by remnants of what seemed to be resentment. "And, I suppose if you want- God." He unsheathed his katana; the vibrating sound of the metal filled the air. "So," he raised his voice, "how about a duel to the death, O Judas priest!"

Somewhere Alucard was cackling at the scene taking place.

"Ye never learn do ye?"

"You'll be dead before midnight."

"A brave boast. Think ye can do it with ten minutes?"

"I know I can."

"Well at midnight we'll see won't we?"

"Put up or shut up Catholic."

"Glad ta." Anderson reached inside of his coat and pulled out his duel blades.

They each stood at the end of the church. Jack held his hands behind his head, the blade pointing downward with his left foot forward. A snake ready to strike at any sign of movement. Anderson held a sword at either end pointing at the rose-red, carpet-clad floors. They each started walking toward each other, wondering who would make the first move. It wasn't surprising that the one to do so was Anderson. He sprinted toward Jack, hoping to catch him off guard. He aimed his blades toward each side of Jack's chest and thrust. Jack pulled his sword out of its position and swung his katana around in a wide arc, smacking away the bayonets. He drew up on the downswing, using the momentum from his previous attack to slash at Anderson's face.

Anderson jumped back, with his madman grin on his face as a trickle of blood flowed from the wound. He stood there looking at Jack as his glasses fell into two pieces and the bridge of his nose began to bleed. He stuck a bayonet into the floor and wiped off his blood and discarded the bottom half of his glasses. "Just a scratch. Don't celebrate yet, vampire." He pulled his sword out of the floor and resumed his stance.

"Humph." Jack ran at Anderson.

"Ye really must have a death wish!" Anderson readied his right arm for a decapitating swing.

"And your name's on top of the list, Judas!" Jack grinned as he hit the ground hard sliding under Anderson's attack and between his legs, trying to cut his down the middle. Anderson brought up his second bayonet blocking the attack and brought down the other to stab Jack in the face.

Jack scooted away and hopped up. He dashed at Anderson and landed a kick to the back. The priest stumbled forward and began to cackle. He spun around and launched bayonets toward Jack. Jack ducked and stood up. He brought up a hand to his cheek. He brought it back. Blood was smeared over his hand. "Just a scratch." He said. "Don't celebrate yet Judas."

"We done wi' tae warm oops?"

"I was hoping you'd ask." He charged, dragging his katana on the floor, cutting the carpet as he moved. He brought it up to cut Anderson in half, but he had moved back and kicked Jack in the chest. Jack shot back hit the ground and rolled, knocking the pulpit down. Anderson ran up to where Jack was laying, still in shock. As he ran he cupped his hand and dragged it along the bottom of the holy water and splashed it on Jack. The screams were excruciating. Anderson continued and aimed his sword for Jack's heart.

Jack rolled away at the last second. He stood; steam from the holy water still ran off of burn marks. "Cheap trick." He ran up and started attacking, slowly backing Anderson into the corner.

Anderson backed up to the corner while he fended off Jack's blade. When in the corner he crossed his blades and stopped the katana and pushed back. Jack fell back. Something was coming, he could feel it.

Anderson cackled as pages of holy text shot out of his chest, binding Jack into place. "Yea knoo vampire it's almost too easy." He grinned as he stabbed Jack in the gut. "But doesn't mean I can't a have a bit o' fun."

Jack grinned as the blade entered his flesh. Perfect. He twirled his wrist and cut the paper holding his arm in place. He twirled his arm, and smacked Anderson's hand with the back end of his sword. Anderson dropped his blade as he shot back to avoid being stabbed.

Jack cut the remaining binds and winced. Damn those blades hurt. He moved up and kicked the remaining sword out of Anderson's hand. He dropped his katana and went in for a jump kick to the side of the head.

Anderson hit the ground with a thud. He was unarmed. Shit. He rolled over and sprung to his feet. He looked over at Jack. His arms covered his chest and face as he bounced up and down.

"Come on Judas, what's the matter?" He swung his front leg up and slammed it into Anderson's stomach. When Anderson shot forward Jack connected his elbow with the Catholic's back dropping him to the ground. "Is that all Judas?"

"Vampire FILTH!" Anderson pushed himself partially up and attempted to tackle Jack at the knees. It was a nicely timed attack that would have given Anderson the advantage if Jack hadn't jumped onto his back.

"I expected more from you Judas." He walked off of him and leaned on a pew. "I must say I'm a little disappointed." Anderson pushed himself up and stormed his way over to Jack. Jack walked to the middle of the isle. "Come on, hit me."

"Ae'd be glad ta." Anderson took a swing at Jack's head with his fist, but never connected. Jack had tilted his head back and lightly kicked Anderson in the shin.

"Come on! Hit me!" He moved his head to the right to avoid another punch. "Come on!" He ducked again to avoid a kick to the head. "Come on!" he started chanting.

Anderson continued his assault by trying to kick Jack in the chest. Jack sidestepped and when he was moving behind Anderson he cracked him in the chest with a ridge hand and kicked him in the side. "COME ON!"

Anderson spun and shot bayonets at Jack, hitting him twice in the left shoulder and once in the stomach.

"Good…" Jack pulled out the blades from his body. "That's more like it. Now Judas…" he trailed off as he broke into a sprint, flipping over several pews and grabbing his sword. He looked at Anderson's blades next to him and kicked them to his opponent. "Ready yourself." He checked his watch. "You have 1 minute to live."

They charged at each other, each unwavering in their determination to kill. Anderson thrust out with both his blades for Jack's heart. Before they clashed, Jack slanted the blade of his katana slightly before he stabbed. Anderson and Jack stood their. Jack had stabbed him in the middle of his chest; Anderson had stabbed Jack just above the heart with each of his blades.

They each jumped back, their blood flowing from their wounds. Jack looked at his watch and grinned. "Time to die." He started running at Anderson with ungodly speed. Anderson readied his blades. This time he was going to stab him through the heart and decapitate him with one felt stroke.

Jack flipped his sword backward, flew his arm forward, with a stroke upward Anderson's blades were thrown in the air and lodged in the ceiling. He stood still for a moment, the tip of his blade at the bottom of Anderson's jaw. "Only human," he plunged his sword through Paladin Alexander Anderson's skull, the bloody tip coming out of his blond hair. Jack twisted away and cut through the center of Anderson's face with the blade, spun around and took off his head in one motion.

Anderson's head hit the ground when the clock began to stroke midnight. Jack began to laugh. It was an uncharacteristically deep mad laugh that would have come from the mouth of Anderson or Alucard.

The doors burst open and the stain glass windows shattered. Iscariot armed forces stormed the chapel. Jack stood alone in the center of the catholic troops, bloodlust still in his eyes. His pupils contracted. He dropped his sword and grinned. The fun was just beginning and it could only get better.

A/N: R&R or else. Tell me what you thought of Anderson's death…'cause he's definitely dead.

A/N: No one reviewed my last chapter soooo…read it and do that now.

A/N: Big HUGE thanks to my editor. I still have no idea who you are, but whatever. You kick ass.

PREVIEW!

Seras: Where the hell were we in this episode?

Integra: Disney World.

Seras: YAY!

Off Time #3: Obligatory Flashback


	11. Obligatory Flashback

Off Time #3: Obligatory Flashback

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime. I'm not even making any pennies off of this whatsoever. The entire idea goes out to the creator of the show itself, not me.

A/N: Review or I'll cry and stuff.

A/N: All dialogue in means it's translated from a different language.

Alucard was cackling at the sight before him. Jack was ripping the Iscariot swat team in shreds. And Judas! He killed Judas. It was too bad, he did want to fill that man from head to toe with silver, but he had to admit, he hadn't been entertained like this for a while. It was a fine show indeed.

He gave a grin as Jack tore one of the soldiers in half. He had potential. He vanished from his perch in a nearby tree and appeared inside the chapel just in time to see Jack tear out a soldier's throat with his teeth. Alucard leisurely clapped his gloved hands together. "Well done, Owens! Well done indeed!" Jack looked up, startled. His red eyes gleamed with a hunger that he'd never felt before.

Alucard looked around. It was more of a butcher shop than a chapel now. Blood and gore was everywhere; littering the church with the remains of what used to be mortal men. Soldiers were torn in half, skulls were crushed, and several just had an arm go through their organs pulled out by hand. "I must admit, Seras made an excellent choice."

The claps echoed through Jack's consciousness, bringing back some coherent thought. The first thing he noticed was blood. A lot of blood and he was covered with it. He looked around. Oh god. "What have I done?" he whispered to himself.

Jack hadn't moved from his position on the steps of the church for several hours. Alucard left soon after he arrived, but left Jack to suffer in the wake of what he'd done. He put his Hellcat on the steps, placing his sword next to it he sat with his face buried in his hands. Thoughts came and went at regular intervals as he tried to piece together the events of the night. Images of the dead came to a standstill, loitering in his minds eye in a severity he'd never known before as he sat and with his head hung low.

One of his hands managed to reach into his pants pocket and pull out a pack of cigarettes. He looked at it for a minute. How long had he had this? Before all this, before everything ever happened. He pulled out the last cigarette and threw the empty pack into the grass. He pulled out a lighter from his pants and lit it.

He took in a few quick puffs and slouched forward again. When the Hell did things start going so wrong? What the Hell did he have to kill all of those people for? Yes, they were Iscariot Soldiers. But they had done nothing to deserve death at his hands. He knew why he killed Anderson, though. The bastard was a thorn in anyone's side if you let him live long enough. But the lingering question still remained, summed up into one word for the benefit of no one and for everyone at the same time: Why?

Enrico Maxwell awoke at precisely seven o'clock, as usual. He dressed himself and went downstairs for breakfast of eggs and toast. Breakfast was already on the table when he came down the stairs. He pulled back his chair, placed his napkin on his lap and scooted up. He picked up a fork and started to eat.

Father Renaldo walked into the room, briefcase tucked under his arm. "Ah Father. I wasn't expecting you so early. Are you hungry? I can have the kitchen bring you something."

"No."

"Ah, well then take a seat. Breakfast is important." He put another bite of egg into his mouth. "So," he said as he swallowed, "how did our little vampire hunt go yesterday?"

"That's what I'm here about."

"Tell me all about it."

"Once we detected the vampire I dispatched squad nine, as you ordered."

"Ah-h, the new recruits. How did they perform?"

"Well the vampire headed to Ferdinand Luke's."

Enrico burst out laughing. "Oh-h-h…looks like they had to do cleanup. Anderson must have been pleasantly surprised."

"Well…no."

"Taking the children on an overnight field trip eh? I suppose he has earned his off time."

"Squad nine is dead sir. All of them."

Enrico's expression hardened. "Get Anderson back. He can deal with it."

"So is Anderson."

"WHAT?" Enrico stood up, slamming his hands on the table.

"I know. But it's true, Anderson was found dead at the scene. We have video footage from one of the troop's helmets."

"Show me." Enrico threw his napkin next to his half eaten breakfast and followed Father Renaldo into the next room.

Father Renaldo reached into his briefcase and brought out a mini-disk. He opened the disk player on a computer and put it in. A video player popped up on the screen. The screen flashed into a first person view from one of the soldiers. After a while it turned into scrambled pictures of death.

"That vampire…" Enrico muttered. "I've seen him before…HELLSING!" he shouted. "That's a Hellsing vampire!"

"That's not the female or the Nosferatu Alucard."

"They have a third."

"When did this happen?"

"Some time ago. Anderson mentioned him in several of his reports. The description fits perfectly."

"He doesn't wear the coat of arms of the Hellsing family."

"He could be incognito. Wearing the arms would be too flashy. Is there any sign of the Nosferatu?"

"None, not that we could find any."

"If you see him, then Integra Wingates Hellsing has launched a war upon the Catholic Church! Search the area. Find him and destroy him!"

"Signore!" The bellhop yelled. Jack turned around and placed his bags on the floor and removed the cigarette from his lips.

"Yes?"

"Vietato fumare all'ingresso."

"What? The one language I never learned…" He muttered to himself. "Parlez-vous français?"

"Oui monsieur."

" Then what do you want? "

" Sir there is no smoking in the lobby. "

Jack sighed. " Where's the ashtray? "

" Outside sir, but I can take that for you. "

" Fine. " He handed the cigarette to the bellhop, picked up his bags and walked to the elevator. Before the door even closed he was already going for his pocket. This was a really crappy week. He walked off down the hall toward his room. He was looking forward to some sleep.

He reached into his room and reached into his pocket for the keycard. He stopped. Someone was in there. Dammit he just got settled in. He reached into his coat and pulled out a pistol. He dropped the bags again and slid the card into the door. He kicked open the door and went in pistol first.

Seras yelped when Jack burst in. She dropped the trash bag she was using the clean up the room and spun around. "Oh god Jack!"

"Seras?" Jack said, lowering his weapon. "What are you doing here?"

"I used some vacation time to come look for you. What are you doing here?"

"At the moment, hiding." He grabbed his bags from outside and shut the door. "Borders are locked tight."

"No I mean why are you in Italy? And Rome of all places! Gimme that!" She tore the cigarette from his lips and put it out on an ashtray.

"Hey!" He sighed. "It's been on the news every night; I'm surprised you don't know. Listen I don't want to talk about it." He walked over to the bed and fell face forward.

"Well where have you been? I've been worried sick about you Jack!"

"Japan. Didn't you get all that stuff I sent you?"

"No, what are you talking about?"

"I sent you a bunch of stuff? You mean you never got it?"

"No! I haven't heard about you for months! What happened?"

"Well I FedExed myself to Japan."

"You FedExed yourself?" she said as she sat down on one of the chairs.

"Yeah. Lemme tell the story."

Dusk fell on the country side. Jack trudged up a long flight of stone stairs. This place just had to be this far out of the way. This better be where it was. He looked up. An old red Japanese arch was at the top of the stairs. Only a few hundred more stairs to go. Wonderful; simply wonderful. He continued walking.

" Hey, you! " Someone yelled at from the top of the stairs. " What are you doing here? "

" What does every stranger who comes around want? " He yelled in Japanese.

When Jack reached the top of the stairs there were three young men clothed in robes standing behind the arch. He noted that each had a katana under his robes as if they were awaiting a battle. " You are here to see Master I take it. "

" Indeed. "

" He is no longer accepting students. " One snapped. Obviously, someone had to teach these kids their manners.

" I insist I talk to him. " Jack kept his voice cool and calm as he spoke. They were only boys, - compared to him- after all. If they refuse him he would only knock them out. The older did not want anymore bloodshed on his hands than was necessary. Thought too soon.

" We refuse. "

" I will fight my way through if necessary. " All three of them pulled out katanas.

" Then fight. " One said launching an attack on the newcomer. Jack sighed and pulled out his katana. He had hoped it would not come to this.

An old man dressed in dark grey and blue robes sat on the floor at the low traditional Japanese table sipping tea. " I was wondering when you were going to come in. " He said as Jack opened the door. " I seem to have a decision. It has been my practice to only take three students at a time. However, I see you have killed all three of them. "

" Knocked out actually. " Jack stated.

" Doesn't matter. I will take you, but first you must survive two minutes against me. I cannot grantee your safety. " Taken aback at the way the old man talked, Jack could only sigh as he stifled a laugh.

" That's it? Lets go. 

"A Japanese sword master? You? Explain." Seras asked. Her eyes bulged as she listened to him rattle on about how it went. Jack frowned; annoyed that she would interrupt at such a time.

"Where else would I go? Come on, let's go for a walk then maybe we could talk some more about it." Seras shrugged offhandedly and followed her old student out of the room. "I don't miss it, any of it. But I did miss you."

"I see. You know what? A walk sounds great. Let's go."

A/N: Since I'm getting busier here's the deal. I'll write a teaser and post it on Wednesday, then on the next Wednesday I post the rest of the chapter. This way you get new stuff each week, I don't go crazy and get to whore for reviews. Because I'm not above that, certainly not.

A/N: R&R


	12. Obligatory Flashback pt 2

Off Time #4: Obligatory Flashback pt. 2

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime. I'm not even making any pennies off of this whatsoever. The entire idea goes out to the creator of the show itself, not me.

A/N: Review or I'll cry and stuff.

A/N: All dialogue in means it's translated from a different language.

The old man slid the Japanese doors open and stepped into the room. The dark hardwood floors contrasted with the white walls. Racks of swords and boken were centered on each of the walls. He walked over to a rack and pulled out the middle sword, unsheathed it, and placed the sheath back on the rack.

" Live steel eh? " Jack muttered as he drew his weapon.

" As I said before, I cannot assure your safety. "

" I'll be alright. "

" The two minutes begins now. " He shot forward with a downward slash.

Jack twisted his body around, barely avoiding the blade. He hopped back to avoid a slash to the stomach. "Fast." He muttered. Jack brought his sword up diagonally for a slash, then with the follow though tried to go across the old man's face. The only thing this attack hit was air. The old man twisted his way away from the blades and kneed Jack in the stomach, went forward then pushed him forward to the ground.

Jack rolled to his left and snapped himself back up. They circled each other, waiting for the next move. This was going to be a long two minutes.

Jack attacked first with an upward slash and hit steel.

" Your weapon is impressive. Most swords don't survive something like that on this one. "

" Thanks. " Jack grinned. He threw his foot forward for a sweep and missed. The old man had hopped into the air and threw a downward slash at Jack. Jack got his sword up just barely. He placed his front foot in front of him and locked his back leg. His stance was unwavering as they exchanged blows.

They were at a standstill. They both refused to move as their blades hit each other again and again. Jack was the one who broke the monotony by stepping forward with a slash toward the chest. It would have been a successful hit if there was someone still in front of him.

Before Jack could turn around he felt the blade enter his back and exit through his chest. Dammit.

" A minute and forty-six seconds; longer than most have lasted. May you rest in peace. " The old man took the blade out of Jack's back and grabbed his sheath.

" There's a blessing on that blade… " Jack muttered.

The sword master turned around. " Impossible! _No one_ could survive that! "

Jack turned around slowly, the hole in his chest still bleeding. " True. No _human _could survive a wound like this. "

" But you're still alive! " he said in shock.

" The problem with that logic, " Jack sheathed his sword, " is that you _think_ I'm human. And that's two minutes if I'm not mistaken. " Jack walked toward the door and patted the bewildered man on the shoulder.

"So then what happened between the two of you?" Seras asked as they walked down the boulevard.

"I lasted more than two minutes. He had to take me in; a man's word is a man's word."

"And why would his sword have been blessed?"

"Well… it is very old so it was probably blessed way back before his time. Anyway lemme continue."

Jack walked down the cobblestone path towards the Zen garden that lay not to far away from the main building. The old man sat cross-legged in a rock in the middle of the raked sand.

" I have been contemplating our situation for the last hour. I _did_ give you my word, however, the vampire is an abomination before most of the civilized world. "

" I get that more than you'd think. "

" I imagine. However, I am not as young as I once was, and none of my other students show as much promise. Teachers gain immortality through their students; however the rate of decay of the honor and spirit of the sword is alarming. I am afraid my way will be lost to the ages much faster than the ones of my teacher, and his and so forth. Even so, a student who will never die must hold dear the principals of the art. It is my place to decide what is best for future generations. My concern is that a bloodthirsty and savage creature such as the vampire will destroy the values I hold dear. There you see my problem. "

He rose to his feet and stepped on smaller stones to get to regular ground. You will follow me. " He motioned to Jack and led him further down the path. They eventually reached a white shrine. This is where every master of the sword in the school rests. One day I will rest here, and so will your students. Before I train you, you must make an oath. An oath of blood that you will not pervert our way of life with your very presence in the school and destroy everything I have worked so hard to achieve. 

Jack brought his hand to his mouth and bit down on the palm of his hand underneath the thumb. He drew back his hand and let the blood drip into a small plate before the waist- high alter. He clenched his hand and the bleeding stopped.

" Very well, we start tomorrow. "

" Actually I don't think I ever got your name. 

" I am Master Hirano, your name is? "

" Jack Owens. "

"So that's all you've been doing for 7 months? Learning how to use a sword?" Seras asked.

"No. I needed blood, so I made a deal with the Japanese government. I'd help them out with their incidents and I'd get a blood bag. The Japanese Special Forces are terribly understaffed and under funded, but nice people. And, no, I did not have to fight Godzilla."

"They musta got him right before you showed up. That's why they were all under understaffed. They all got squished." Seras said with a laugh that came close to a squeal of delight.

"Yeah, that must be the reason." Jack trailed off. "Are you sure you didn't get anything in the mail?"

"Yah-huh, I'd remember if I did. I mean I was worried sick!"

"Maybe I sent it to the wrong address or something…" Jack rubbed his eyes. "I've been a complete jerk…"

"Jack…"

"No seriously! I get up and leave without any notice, you hear nothing from me for the better part of a year, and I mean I acted like a complete ass."

"Well I was going to agree with you."

"…"

"Jack its okay. You had your reasons for leaving. You obviously put a lot of thought into it for you to do something like that."

"That's the problem! I didn't! There was no planning involved! It just hit me like a damn train! And the reason I went was…there's just…there's no excuse for how I acted. I promise I'll make it up to you somehow."

"Jack I'm just glad you're alright."

Jack threw his head back and looked up at the stars. "I don't deserve her…" he thought to himself. He turned to look at her but saw only empty air. Glancing around he wondered where she could have gotten to when he spotted her gazing through the window of a pet store where little Persian kittens batted a ball of wool around and tea-cup pups jumped at the window. She laughed at the sight as a tiny black and white pup pounced on one of the brown ones and received a snap on the ear by the brown puppy's twin. Jack felt a ghost of a smile touch his lips as he watched her.

Suddenly, the street went dark for all though the overhead lights of the streetlamps lit the road in several places. Seras vanished before his eyes and Jack let out a gasp as the area turned into a massacre haven. Adults and children ran every which way, but when he tried to grab onto one his hand passed right through their arm. What was happening to him? The pet shops windows were broken and a priest ran past him shouting about the apocalypse.

"Jack, are you alright? Jack?" Distantly he heard Seras' voice call out to him and the scenery reverted back to normal. Slowly, he realized that Seras had been waving her hand in front of his face and he blinked. "Are you feeling alright, Jack? You went a little tipsy on me- if that's possible for a vampire that is."

"All the sake I had in Japan probably hasn't worked its way outta my system." Jack gave her a lopsided grin as he spoke. "I'm not a lightweight if you remember." The blond shuddered at the memories that now flooded her mind of when he'd been crazy enough to get drunk on the roof of the Hellsing building in the early hours of morning when the sun was about to rise.

"I remember. And as I recall, Alucard once told me that he'd castrate you- with or without Integra's permission- if it happened again." She replied sternly giving him a motherly look of disappointment.

"Oh, did he? Not what he said back then." Jack muttered walking beside her

"What?"

"Nothing. Forget I said that, alright?" Seras nodded and Jack breathed a sigh of relief that he didn't have to explain anything more than the last seven months to her.

Seras, satisfied with the information he given her, half-walked half-skipped beside him.

A/N: Edited version

A/N: Update day is Thursday now.


	13. Priest and A Nun pt 1

Off Time #5: Priest and a Nun part 1

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime. I'm not even making any pennies off of this whatsoever. The entire idea goes out to the creator of the show itself, not me.

A/N: Review or I'll cry and stuff.

----------

The oil soaked rag went over the cold metal. It was a constant back and forth motion as always. Jack sat in the flower pattern chair next to the bed, oil and sheath both thrown casually on the white carpeting. The TV was on BBC with the volume turned down low- after all; with his hearing turning it up any louder would more than likely burst his eardrums. Jack held the blade out, getting a good glare from the overhead light. The blade was still sharp and smooth with a few scratches here and there. It always surprised Jack that the blade was almost in perfect condition; there should be more wear and tear after all the abuse it had taken.

He shook his head and went back to oiling the blade. It wasn't like there was anything better to do. Seras had gone out for a while and said she would be back later, so he was alone with his sword. All alone with the very sword that eerily reminded him of the last 7 months so that every time he looked at it, it sent a soft shiver of excitement throughout his body.

The training in Japan _had _been effective. The blade now felt like a natural extension of his body. He knew where he'd have to stand and how much force to use to cut the TV and the entertainment center in half with one stroke, how far to reach if he wanted to cut the pillow slip, but not the pillow itself.

The blade was comforting, a constant in the own stupid changes he had initiated. He left without warning for what? Revenge, maybe a blind sense of hope that he could end his torment without conscience or pain for having left with no better explanation than that he had 'something to take care of'? Yeah. Why couldn't it have been a better reason? _Anything_ was better than revenge. Revenge is self-centered. Couldn't it have been to do something for someone else?

Jack continued rubbing down the blade. The more he thought about it he became a bigger jackass, leaving for months on end with no contact. Getting hammered, locking himself up in that damn room for days on end cutting himself off from everyone else. Especially her- that beautiful blond female vampire who had stolen his heart and didn't know it because he left too soon to go take up his vengeance against the not-so-indestructible Paladin.

He'd have to make it up to her. He shook his head. He didn't even know why she bothered to give him the time of day. He'd been an egocentric ass, but she stilled cared.

He leaned forward to get a smudge out of the sword. He tried to focus on the shiny metal but failed. "When was the last time we did something nice together?" he thought to himself. The last walk through the city didn't work out to well. And when was the last time he just looked her in the eye and told her he loved her? When was the last time he said she looked nice? Groaning loudly enough to have Alucard hear him, Jack leaned back in the chair with a fit of self loathing. Thinking like this was going to make himself go fucking crazy.

----------

Seras had walked a few blocks before she stopped next to a news stand and reached into her pocket and pulled out a cell phone. A few people were around but the area was rather remote so she wouldn't have to worry about someone eavesdropping. She hit redial and put the receiver to her ear.

It rang a few times before someone picked up. It was Walter. "Hello?"

"Walter is Integra there?"

"No, I'm afraid she's retired for the night. However you can give me your report and I'll give it to her tomorrow morning with breakfast."

"Alright. Nothing has really happened since I arrived. He said he's been in Japan since he left. He looks pretty tired. I don't think he's been sleeping very well."

"I see. What has he been up to in Italy?"

"He wouldn't say. He said it's all over the news, but everything is in Italian, and he's clammed up so I can't read his thoughts."

"We'll search the news and contact you tomorrow."

"Or," Alucard's voice interrupted over the line, "you could just ask me. I didn't think Owens had it in him."

"Indulge us Alucard." Walter said. "I'd rather not be skimming the news in Italian."

"Well I have Owens to thank for my new doorstop."

"And what would that be?"

"The head of Judas," he cackled.

There was a pause after Alucard's laughter died down. "I'm guessing that the Vatican is pretty pissed off." Seras said.

"Seras do be on the watch for any Vatican operatives, you may have trouble on your hands."

"Alright. I should be headed back." She was about to press the end button but she stopped. "Walter you still there?"

"Yes, what is it?"

"Did I get anything in the mail recently?"

"Not to my knowledge."

"Thanks." She ended the call and placed the phone in her pocket. "It's getting early," she thought as she ran her fingers through her hair. Did Jack want to kill Anderson more than he wanted to spend time with her? She was hit by a pang of self-loathing, only it wasn't her own. It came from the direction of the hotel. It was Jack. She stood there for a minute. She turned around to the other direction and started walking.

----------

Heinkel and Yumiko sat by the phone waiting for Maxwell to tell them when and where to go. They'd been in Germany when Maxwell ordered them back to the Vatican ASAP. They each sat on a plush leather chair in one of Section XIII's various offices. Their car was ready for immediate departure outside; there was plenty of ammunition (silver of course) and Yumie's sword.

"Maxvell seems bent out of shape about this one doesn't he?" Heinkel muttered. "Ve don't usually deal vith wampires."

"I heard this one killed Anderson," Yumiko said meekly.

"VAT?"

"I heard Maxwell talking about it."

"Ve need a wacation."

"You're telling me."

"Vat! Vat did I zay?"

"N-nothing to worry about. We can take out those damned vamps just as soon as we get orders to leave."

----------

"So, Owens killed Anderson? Interesting. He may be worth keeping around after all." Integra mused as everything seemed to fall into place after Walter told her what was going on. "Keep Seras informed on everything she needs to know. Where they are, he just might come in handy."

"Of course, Sir Integra, it will be as you say." Walter said with a classic bow which brought his right arm in a soft semi-circle stopping just above his heart. He smiled thoughtfully. There was no telling how long it would be before Jack started developing his more potent abilities. A restriction system would need to be placed on both of them eventually. But that would be later. Perhaps after his time. But whatever was going to happen in Italy was going to be defiantly interesting to say the least.

----------

Alucard sat back in his room as he thought back to the phone conversation with Seras. He did so love the way that Jack kept Anderson on edge as they fought in that church. And then the other soldiers! Oh what a riot to have seen the way that the young nosferatu tore through them like a hot knife through butter; the master vampire could have laughed until he died, again, that night.

----------

Jack sighed heavily as he sheathed his sword once again. He wondered when Seras would be coming back. She probably figured it out already. She'd probably come in screaming at him. Just another thing he needed on his conscience. Lying and making shit up wasn't going to help. She was, after all, the one who gave him a second chance at life. Would she give him a second chance with their relationship as well? He was hoping that she would.

"A snowballs chance in Hell, Owens. A snowball's chance in Hell." A voice inside him said.

----------

A/N: R&R


	14. Priest and A Nun pt 2

Off Time #6: Priest and a Nun Part 2

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime. I'm not even making any pennies off of this whatsoever. The entire idea goes out to the creator of the show itself, not me.

A/N: Review. Seriously. I'm not kidding around.

----------

The wheels screeched as the car peeled out of Vatican City into the streets or Rome.

"Watch out will you!" Yumie yelled as they swerved past a lamppost.

"Vell za timeframe is limited! Ze target is on da move!"

----------

Jack walked casually on the streets of Rome. He didn't need to worry about time, he doubted that Seras would want come directly back if she found out, and if she did…well, as the saying goes, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

He reached into his pocket for a cigarette and pulled out a new pack and a lighter. He jabbed the plastic wrap open with one of his fangs and tore it off. He pulled on out, put it between his lips, lit it, then placed the pack and lighter in his pocket.

Didn't a few people owe him favors? He couldn't think of a better time to cash a few in. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, he flipped it open and hit a speed dial option.

He pressed the phone to his ear and waited for an answer on the other line. A crisp, clear voice on the other end answered. Thank god.

" Hey it's Jack. " He said in Japanese as he tossed his cigarette to the ground. " I need you to call in some favors. He waited for the voice at the other end to finish while he hauled out another smoke. " Really screwed. " He puffed on his cigarette as he waited for the other end to stop talking. " Sufficiently screwed. No contact for 6 months screwed. Just give a few people a call and give them my number okay? I don't know how much time I have left. I'll talk to you when I can. " He hung up with the 'don't call me, I'll call you' attitude and placed the phone back into his pocket.

He turned around and headed back toward the hotel. It would probably help if he had access to a weapon of some sort when Seras attempted to rip him limb from limb because of his stupidity.

A car squealed down the street at breakneck speed. It rushed by Jack and broke into a 180 into the back of a building. The doors of the black and gold Sedan flew open to reveal the Vatican assassins who rushed thoughtlessly toward their target.

"Damn Iscariot." Jack muttered as he turned around reaching for a pistol somewhere on his person. "Wait a minute…" Jack thought. His mind flashed back to the hotel room where he had left all of his weapons under the double bed. His eye twitched twice as he stood his ground and sized up the Vatican's latest annoyance. Two women, one dressed as a priest with two pistols, the other a sword toting nun.

Yumie brought out her sword and flung her sheath on the sidewalk. Was this one unarmed? Yes, he must be- no, he _had_ to be. This was going to be easy. She shot forward with a slash and shot into the side of a grey stone building. Jack had swerved behind her, grabbed her arm, and twirled her to the wall.

Jack took an unexpected bullet to the back and staggered forward against the other woman. "Lead," he said as he turned around. "_You_ would dare to shoot a vampire with lead? I'm truly insulted. I thought you, at least, would have better sense of that mistake. " The regenerating tissue managed to squeeze out the bullet.

"Wery sorry, I must ave forgotten to change za magazine." Heinkel dropped both of the magazines and replaced them with new ones. "Is dat better, little wampire scum?"

"Much." Jack said with a smirk before he ducked to avoid a slash Yumie had directed toward his head. He threw his elbow back and hit her in the gut, then dashed forward.

Heinkel was busy shooting at Jack and trying not to hit Yumie- which is much harder than it sounded because Jack wouldn't stop darting back and forth. He ran and tackled her with his shoulder and twirled around with a crescent kick to catch Yumie in the side of the head, dropping her cold.

Heinkel rolled to her feet and tried to raise her arms to shoot, but couldn't because something had her restrained around the middle. She tried to struggle but the more she tried the more pain shot through her chest and middle back.

Jack turned his attention toward the other Vatican assassin who was apparently frozen; with a kick to the side of the head, she hit the ground with a satisfying thump. Satisfied that he was out of danger Jack headed back toward the hotel. He stopped after a few steps. Something was around his neck. Something thin, yet strong and it was increasing in pressure with every second. What the Hell? He put his hand around his throat to feel the object. A wire? How anyone could have gotten close enough to put that there was a mystery to him, yet an implacable sinking sensation of fear was slowly setting into the back of his mind.

Seras slowly walked toward Jack, her grip firmly on her monofilament wires. "You have a lot of explaining to do." She said. Giving the wires a light tug she forced Jack to turn towards her. He looked at the wires in her hands. A slight tug and he was dead. This didn't look very good.

----------

A/N: Yes it is short, and late. Blame George Bush, Grand Theft Auto, and Halo 2. We wouldn't be having this problem if it wasn't for them. Also looking for property in Canada, gimme an email.

A/N: Yes this is getting more serious and gloomy, but that's typical anime for you, everything starts off good, but it all goes to hell. Sometimes literally.

A/N: A reviewer said that they didn't believe that Anderson could be killed. He can. Alucard just chooses not to kill him because then a valuable source of entertainment would be lost and he's evil that way, keeping the poor priest's hopes up. Also he got his head cut off after the stab to the face. He's only human, take off his head and the rest goes down too. And it makes a spiffy doorstop for Alucard.


	15. Authors Notes

Since the updater refuses to take the story to the top so people can read it, here are those author notes again with extra added goodies.

Plot

More or less because I haven't read all the manga, this entire story takes place about...6 months or so after the end of the anime.

The natural extension of this story would to be going after the creators of the FREAK chips. This gives me all sorts of possibilities for plot, which I have explored in my little twisted mind. But you're gonna have to read if you wanna know what happens. I assure you, there will be a kick-ass fight at the end. The plot I have will take me a while to actually finish. I won't be done anytime soon. Theoretically I could continue on with this story for as long as I want but if I did it would start to become repetitive, and I imagine I would get sick of it and end it in some crappy way.

Jack

Jack is my original character. If you didn't know that, you obviously haven't been paying attention. I wanted to add something to the Hellsing universe all my own. And if I've done it correctly he is different than any character in Hellsing. He should be generally nice, sarcastic, witty, and the type of guy who would laugh at dead puppies, but if he actually saw one he would feel bad. I dunno about the dead puppy thing, but if you got the rest I guess I'm doing okay then. Heh heh heh, dead puppies.

When I initially started the story I wanted to avoid what I had done in my previous writing; making my characters perfect. After a few reviews complaining about how Jack lacked flaws I reread it all of my previous chapters. My neighbors complained about the string of profanity they could hear. So I spent the majority of chapter 6 fixing that. I call it my "saving my ass" chapter. Mmmmm.... Can't you smell the character development? I especially like how I did his inner monologue. If I had done it like dialogue to himself it probably would have seemed force, and would have sucked. Yay for me.

I'd have to say the main reason I gave Jack a black belt and a sword is so he could fight Anderson. Dammit Anderson kicks ass and I was tired of the three minute battles he had with Alucard. Alucard just shoots at him a few times and wins. Where's the mega violence? Where's the bloodshed? I mean he gets shot I the friggin head and doesn't even bleed. Christ. So by making Jack initially good with the methods of up-close and personal I get to write some cool fight scenes. Plus I get to make Jack hate Anderson with a burning passion, giving him a little motivation. Also no one else uses a sword in the series besides Anderson, and if you count the manga, Integra, and the crazy schizophrenic nun, who I'm considering adding.

Several people thought that Jack took to being a vampire faster than he should have. The only thing this is based on is Seras, who had sufficient difficulty coping. Jack is more open minded and how should I put this...male. I know from extensive research of being male that guys do weird crap all the time. Drinking blood and stuff probably isn't at the top of the list of stuff we're not willing to do, given the proper circumstances. Ever see Fear Factor? Yeah. Think about it guys, if all you had to do to bench 200 kg (440.925 pounds) get cool powers and crap and all you had to do was drink blood and not see the sun for the rest of eternity. Pretty sweet. And I'm fairly certain that no one in London has ever seen the sun to begin with. Seriously.

Anyway, no he's not getting sunglasses, trench coat and bullet time...yet. Heh heh heh.

Reviews

I get an average of 3 reviews per chapter. Reviews are essential to keep me writing. I mean, what's the point of writing if no one is gonna read right? I would now like to recognize ceras, who has reviewed every single chapter, and misspelled at least one word in each review, without fail. I applaud your consistency and wish to thank you for your good words.

I'd also like to thank the several anonymous reviewers who, for the lack of a better word, informed about Jack being too perfect.

These people help keep me motivated for a better story for you guys to read, so give these people a round of applause, of course they can't hear it so whatever.

Anyway, if I get more reviews, you get more chapters and stabbing. So review! REVIEW I SAY!

I probably should stop now. I might need to do another of these things again, so I might as well save some crap to talk about.

Here is where the new stuff starts.

I swear this is going somewhere. I promise, I'm adding stuff like this for character development and stuff. Trust me.

On the last chapter I explained why Anderson is dead. Go read that, then review. I like reviews. I've read all of them, at least four times. Review and get noticed or something!

Chapters aren't coming as much as we'd all like them to but that's the man's fault. The man, Halo 2, and all the other games that God has cruelly released in a small time frame are defiantly to blame.

The purpose for moving updates to Thursday is so I get an extra day to get everything edited by my wonderful editor, Dark-Mage-Quisits, run through it a couple of times and then post it, however the updater thing hates me.

Can't think of anything else at the moment besides telling you to review...so go do that...right now...I'm looking at you. Why aren't you reviewing?


	16. The Japanese Alphabet Road with Chinese ...

Off Time #7: The Japanese Alphabet Road with Chinese Bellflower's Sweet Smell

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime. I'm not even making any pennies off of this whatsoever. The entire idea goes out to the creator of the show itself, not me.

A/N: Review. Seriously. I'm not kidding around.

A/N: If you can tell me where the title comes from you get a gold star.

A/N: This is a chapter of vengeance and horror and ACT- err wait, the story seems to have been replaced by a Hugh Grant movie. God dammit. So just a warning ahead, no violence in this one. The other chapters have plenty of it though.

----------

Seras yanked on the wires toward the trees on the other side of the street. She pulled slowly, not wanting to take Jack's head off, at least not at the moment. She drew in into the tree line and released the wire from his neck. As she pulled the wire back it snapped against Jack's throat causing a small wound.

Jack's hand instinctively went to his throat and wiped away the blood. Before he could move his hand back down he was shoved into the side of the tree and pinned there by Seras.

"Anderson?!" She shouted as she pushed harder into Jack's shoulders. Her fingernails broke through his shirt and started to break the skin. "You left to kill Anderson!? What were you thinking?"

Jack tried to straighten his posture to regain control of at least a little of this situation before it got too out of hand. He had to do this right. In her state, Jack didn't doubt that she'd start ripping off limbs.

"Answer me!" she yelled at him.

"I wasn't thinking." He tried to keep his cool. "I don't know why I did it. It's probably the dumbest thing I've ever done. If I was given the choice again I wouldn't! I should have tried to contact you a little more and about a thousand other things!" He looked her dead in the eye. "I'm sorry. I know your upset but I want to make it up to you. All I'm asking is the chance that you'll let me try… please Seras? One more chance to make things right for me and you? Please?"

Seras drew her nails out of Jack's flesh, but kept him firmly pinned to the tree. He was telling the truth and she knew it because in some ways the bond forged between them that fateful night wasn't even chipped. "Why should I let you get off so easy? You just get up and leave and expect me to act like it never happened?" She didn't want to be angry with him, but she couldn't help it. She was a woman and women were not all mild tempered as most men probably knew – Sir Integra being a prime example.

"I'm not really asking for that from you, Seras. All I'm really interested in is that you give me one day of your time to be with you."

"Why should I give you a day?" Seras continued. "You disappe—mmmph!" She stopped talking as Jack pressed his lips against hers.

He felt her tense up, and then melt into the kiss. Jack's mind settled down. His head was still on his neck and there weren't any large holes in his torso. "Crisis averted." He thought to himself as he ran his hands down her arms, feeling the soft material of her clothes under his touch.

They separated, but it wasn't for air it was so that Seras could look into his mind as he was now relaxed in her grip. Jack tilted his head back to look at the stars in the night sky. "Do I get my day?"

Seras rolled her eyes. "Oh fine, but it better be one Hell of a day." She took a step back and let Jack go from her death grip. "Lets go before Frick and Frack wake up." She said as she motioned to Heinkel and Yumi, who were still out cold on the pavement.

"Seras, your fingers." Jack's voice held a hint of concern for her.

She looked down; the tips of her fingers were covered in blood. She casually sucked the blood off each finger as they walked. She noticed Jack was looking at her. "What? I haven't had a blood bag in a couple days, gimme a break."

He laughed at her carefree demeanor. 'I'll never understand women.' He thought. "One minute they're about to tear our your throat and the next their as happy asa clam."

----------

"Please Master," Alucard spoke into the phone, "I can smell the Catholic's fear. I can see their pathetic city. Give me the word and it will be in a glorious flame by morning." Alucard looked over the edge of the building he was on toward the Vatican. Oh how glorious the slaughter would be.

"No."

"It would be so easy Master. Just say yes. I promise I'll be good for the rest of your lifetime."

"That's quite alright."

Alucard wore a disappointed grin as Integra once again rejected his offer. "Well my offer still stands." He said in a low tone of voice.

"I'm sure it does," the woman on the other line replied. "Just get back to the point Alucard, I would like to get at least a few hours of sleep."

"Ah well they seem to have tucked themselves in for the night."

"I thought the rooms only had one bed."

"They do." Alucard waited for a response. Nothing. "Master, I think you've been watching too much late night TV. Owens is on the floor. Of course," he grinned, "if you're looking for someone to share your bed, I will follow any orders you give." Alucard quickly moved the phone away from his ear as his Master's shouts rang into the night. He was going to get locked away in the basement for another twenty years for that, but it was worth it. Well, not as worth it as getting her iron-toe boots flung at his head for watching her get dressed from a late night shower- now that was pleasing. Alas, but a vampire did need his share of the mortal world's fun every now and again.

----------

Jack awoke a little after dawn, just as planned. He let out a yawn. He was still tired, expected since he'd been up late making phone calls, mostly in Japanese so Seras wouldn't find out what he had planned. He grabbed the nightstand he was sleeping under and pulled himself up.

He noticed Seras wasn't in the room. Good, he needed to do a few more things before they left. He went into the bathroom and splashed his face with cold water, brushed his teeth, then wiped his face off with one of the towels next to the sink. He went over to his dresser, took out a white t-shirt, and dropped it to the ground. He took his blue one off and put a finger through one of the blood soaked holes Seras had made the night before. He shook his head and tossed it into the trash can next to the nightstand. He picked up the clean shirt off the carpeted floor and put it on. He thought of changing his pants, but his faded blue jeans were probably okay for the time-being.

He checked to make sure his wallet and a few other things were in safely in his pockets and headed out the door. He opened the door to find Seras on her tip-toes holding an envelope toward the lights on the ceiling.

"Whatcha got there?"

Seras jumped. "Ummm..." she extended the envelope toward Jack, "this was waiting for you at the front desk."

"Thanks for picking it up for me." He grinned as he took the envelope. He turned around, opened it, and pulled out the contents. He moved a little to the left and the right when Seras tried to peek around his shoulder. He reached for his wallet and placed most of the things inside. The last items were a note written in Japanese and a set of car keys. He read the note over, and stuffed both of them in his pocket. He turned back around, "Ready to go?"

"I would like to know what we're doing first."

"Too bad."

Jack grabbed her hand and almost dragged her down the stairs and out of the lobby. Jack pulled out the keys as they entered the parking lot and followed the sound of the car's horn as Jack hit the lock button on the remote. They eventually arrived at a shiny black BMW parked at the end of the lot. The windows were heavily tinted.

Jack unlocked it and opened the passenger side door for Seras. Once she was on the tan seat, he shut the door and went around to the driver's side. He started up the car and started driving.

"There are sunglasses in the glove compartment if you want some." Jack said as he pulled out a pair of blue tinted glasses from his pocket and put them on. "The Sun is only going to get worse, so might as well get them now."

She opened the glove compartment and rummaged around. "Where are we going first?" She pulled a pair of sunglasses out of the glove compartment and shut it.

"Well, I think the Coliseum is up first."

"A historical tour?"

"A little. If we wanted to know ancient history we'd just ask Alucard." Jack said sarcastically earning himself a laugh from the blond beside him.

----------

After the Coliseum, they wandered about the city, hitting some key touristy places like any normal people would do. Around noon they got back into the car.

"Noon already?" Jack said to himself.

"What's so special about noon?" He silently berated himself for saying it out loud, but quickly came up with a cover up.

"We're doing something special."

"Oh, where at?"

"Oh you'll see." Jack got a light punch in the upper arm for that one.

Seras looked as he took a right turn. "Jack, we're headed towards the Vatican."

"Yeah so?"

"Jack…you do know they're trying to kill us right?"

"And why would they have reason to suspect we'd be out at noon?"

"Jack, this is crazy."

"Which is why we won't get caught. Trust me on this one." He turned into Vatican City and kept on driving, but he did notice her worried frown and the way she was wrinkling her nose. "Oh come on, don't you think it makes it more fun this way?"

Seras shook her head and looked out the window, counting all of the probable Section XIII agents. She was up to seven by the time they stopped.

Jack opened his door and climbed out. He walked around, opened Seras's door and headed towards the massive building they had parked next to. Seras got out and stopped dead in her tracks as she looked at where they were about to go. The Sistine Chapel. Jack really was crazy. She should have brought weapons. Section XIII was going to burst in and they were both going todie.

Jack waved at her to follow him in. "What ya waiting for?"

Rather than getting the hell out of the area, like the rational part of her mind was screaming at her to do, Seras followed Jack inside. She looked around, waiting for Catholics to jump out and start shooting.

"Wait a minute…"Seras said as she looked around, "no one is here. Why isn't this place packed?"

Jack grinned. "I know a guy who knows a guy."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Nope. This place is empty for another twelve and a half minutes. Just you, me, and a giant masterpiece of the Renaissance."

----------

They left approximately twelve minutes later to avoid being seen. They walked at a brisk pace toward the car and had the car started in a matter of seconds.

"Jack," Seras said as she buckled her seatbelt.

"Yeah?"

"Get us the hell outta here."

"Good idea." He backed up, pressed down on the clutch, put the car into first gear, and slammed his foot down on the gas.

"I can't believe it…" she thought. "I mean the Sistine Chapel?" She rubbed her neck; it was a little soar from looking up. "You're crazy you know that?" She said.

"Maybe, but you have to admit that was worth it."

"I'm not arguing that, but I'd rather not do it again."

"Heh, Maxwell's heart would probably explode if he knew anything about it."

"Probably most of his major organs actually. So now what?"

"I have to pick up a suit, and you need a new outfit."

"So I get to go shopping then?"

"Mhmm. Just remember, we have to fit it all in the car afterwards."

----------

Jack tossed the suit in the back of the car and waited for Seras to come out. In the time it took Jack to stand in line, try to find someone who didn't speak just Italian, prove he had ordered it, and manage to take possession of the suit, Seras had picked out a dress and whatever else she wanted. She had refused to show him what she picked out and had it placed in a box to make sure that Jack couldn't look. Seras closed the trunk and got back into the car.

"We can take this stuff back to the hotel and lie around for a while," Jack said, "or we can drive around for a while."

"Hotel." Seras said as she leaned back into the seat. "All this running around and sun is making me tired."

"Alright, but you can't sleep too long."

"Oh and why not?"

"We have dinner reservations." He looked at Seras who was visibly shocked. "We're not going to pull someone off the street don't worry."

----------

After her nap, Seras retrieved the box from where she had stashed it and went into the bathroom to get changed. When she emerged she was wearing a sleeveless dress that was roughly the same shade of red as her eyes and clung to her figure. It started at the bottom of the neck and extended down just above the knee. She had managed to find a pair of matching gloves and close-toed high heel shoes.

She turned to Jack, who was sitting on a chair on the opposite side of the room, "What ya think?"

He looked at her, his eyebrows noticeably rising. "I don't know how you would manage high heels," he chuckled.

Seras glared at him.

"You look fabulous." Jack was already in his suit. It was a standard navy blue coat and pants combination with a light blue shirt underneath and a regular blue tie. He had managed to find a pair of black dress shoes lying around and had polished them earlier. Jack stood up and walked toward Seras. "Ready?"

"Of course."

----------

Jack and Seras were settled in their seats chatting away. The table was on the portion of the restaurant had outside. There were two levels on the outside portion, one was on the same level as the rest of the restaurant, and the other was sunken in. Two staircases in the middle lead down toward the lower level, which was mostly a dance area, and had room for a band, but no one was playing tonight. Even so, calm piano music came through carefully camouflaged speakers around tables.

There was a large metal structure over most of the area with a machine that would take a plastic tarp over everything if the weather was bad. The area was surrounded by ivy covered stone walls of the building next door.

"So anyway," Seras continued, "Integra grabs his throat, picks him up, and then tosses out of her door. And Walter and Renaldo are just standing there bug eyed trying to figure out what to do next," she giggled.

"You'd think a priest wouldn't even know those words." Jack opened another bottle of, as Seras figured, expensive wine. He filled his glass and held it up as he put the bottle back down on the white linen. "To Father Maxwell, may Integra throw him many more times."

"I'll drink to that." They tapped their glasses together and took a drink. It had been a very pleasant evening. "So how many favors did you call in for today?"

"At least thirty give or take a few."

Seras looked around. She suddenly felt like she was being watched. "Jack, we're leaving."

"Huh?"

"I think we're being followed."

"Alright, let me go pay and we'll leave." Jack scooted his chair back and headed inside.

"Right." Seras scanned the horizon. Something was defiantly not right. She looked up toward the windows of the surrounding buildings. There was a telescope pointed downward in one of the windows. This wasn't good. She looked behind her, Jack was coming back.

"Let's go," he said as he grabbed the bottle and corked it. They went inside past the main dining area. Seras scanned the room. No one suspicious was here, but she could be wrong.

"What's got you so worked up?" Jack asked as they went out the front door.

"I think we're being watched."

"I take it I should drive fast then right?" Jack grinned.

"Feel free," she said, opening the car door.

Jack climbed in and turned on the engine. "You might want to buckle your seatbelt," he said as he hit the gas.

----------

"Think it was Section XIII?" Jack asked as he peaked his head into their room.

"I doubt we'd be alive if it was."

"The room clean?"

"Probably…" Seras didn't feel like they were being watched but something was off.

"Well I'm going to change. If I have to start running, I'd rather do it in comfortable pants." He grabbed his street cloths from off the back of a chair where he left them.

Seras sat on the edge of the bed and kicked off her high heels. It was murder to walk in those things. She took off her gloves and propped her head up on a pillow. She reached over to the nightstand for the remote. Some mindless television would help, if there was anything in English anyway. She hit a few buttons and fiddled around with the menu screen. There were two movies in English, one was a stupid action movie, and the other was a stupid romance movie.

She pondered the choice for a moment and chose the stupid action movie. She was in the mood for mindless entertainment.

"What ya watching?" Jack said as he walked out dressed in his white T-shirt and blue jeans.

"Stupid action movie."

"Oh really now?"

"Yeah. Tell me what happens I'm going to get changed." She went over to her duffle bag and grabbed a fresh set of clothes.

"Alright." Jack rolled onto the bed and started watching the opening credits. He was thirsty. Now where did he put that? He swung his legs around so they went off the other side, pushed himself forward, flipped his torso upside down and looked under the bed. There it was. He pulled a small blue cooler out from under the bed and brought it up to the bedspread. He unzipped it and grabbed the last two blood bags inside. He zipped it up and dropped it beside the bed.

He tore the top of one of the bags off and started to drink. He rolled his eyes. When Seras came out of the bathroom, clothed in a pale yellow t-shirt and skirt, he threw her the other bag.

"It's the last one I have so make it last."

Seras sat down next to Jack and relaxed. She bit the top off and started to drink. Her eyes widened.

"Like it? It's Master Hirano's blood. Gave me two pints of his blood as a parting gift. I wouldn't expect any less."

"So what I miss in the movie?"

"Well a terrorist guy managed to highjack a nuclear missile and kill an entire village, but leave the single most competent ninja alive."

"Why can't we deal with people that stupid?"

"It's just a movie; we aren't blessed with convenient scriptwriting."

They laid there for a while, blood long gone, the empty bags discarded in the trash. They were usually on the brink of nodding off now and then. Jack had rested his head on Seras's shoulder, positioned for maximum comfort and viewing.

"You know Seras, there's something I need to tell you."

"Yeah Jack?"

"This movie is terrible."

"I know." Seras looked blankly at the screen for a while. "Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I'm pretty?"

"You're beautiful."

They didn't say anything else until they fell asleep.

----------

Preview:

Walter: Wasn't the ending just touching?

Integra: No! I need a bucket of cold water and a hose for those two!

Alucard (Who's tied up in the basement): MMMMMPH!

Integra: You be quiet!

Seras: What's going on?

Integra: You get back here right now!

Seras slumps: Oh alright.

Walter: Cheesecake?

Seras: You seriously need to stop that, it's not funny anymore!

Order # 22: Border Break

----------

A/N: Before I get all sorts of people complaining about lack of violence, coherence, or it being totally out of the spectrum of what may reasonably happen in Hellsing, I know. The next chapter will be much better. It has a car chase. Mmmmm, car chase.

A/N: This was really weird to write, because I had to fill in long spans of time, and I usually just skipped it. How do you say they were staring at pretty artwork for 20 minutes and make it interesting? You can't. And I don't even know where the Coliseum is in Rome. I mean I'm not gonna go find a damn map and see where they hell they went! I'm lazy! Suspend your disbelief for me. Please.

A/N: Incase your wondering how Jack cleared out the Sistine Chapel, I think a Japanese company actually owns the rights to the images (that's the reason why you can't take pictures inside). I'm not 100 sure but let's just say that's the way things are, and so Jack just pulled a few strings and such.

A/N: That's right, Jack can drive a manual. Like all real men can.

A/N: I did have an entire thing done which had little greater than or less than signs encompassing stuff said in a language other than English, but I just realized that doesn't let me publish the greater than or less than signs. I'll fix it eventually.

A/N: I fixed up some of the earlier chapters, only unlike George Lucas's updates, mine are a good thing.


	17. Border Break

Order 22: Border Break

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime. I'm not even making any pennies off of this whatsoever. The entire idea goes out to the creator of the show itself, not me.

A/N: Review. Seriously. I'm not kidding around.

----------

"They don't look like much." Jack said to himself quietly as he looked at Seras's wires. He picked them up from their resting place on the nightstand. He pulled on the strings lightly. "Is this piano wire?" He gave it a sharp tug. It remained intact. His nose detected the scent of blood. His hands were bleeding along the wire. "Guess not…" An interesting weapon to say the least. "And how do you even work this thing?"

He turned around to look for Seras. How she could wrap a wire around his neck was probably a good thing to know. Was she gone again? Christ where'd she go off to now?

The phone rang. Probably her right now. Jack walked over and picked up the phone. "Hello?" Instead of who he was expecting, he got a young man.

"Hello sir, this is the front desk."

The front desk had someone who could speak English? About time. "Yes?"

"There's a message for you at the front desk."

Who'd be sending them a message? Who knew that they were here? Jack's paranoia was starting to set into place with each question that ran through his mind. "I'm on my way down." Jack placed the receiver back on the cradle- the questions didn't cease to alarm him. He slipped on a pair of shoes and headed out of the door. The message was obviously not from Iscariot. They would have just barged in shooting and cleaned everything up later.

He glanced at a few of the doors as he passed. If it was Iscariot, they would probably have the two rooms at the end of the hall by the elevator, where he was headed, and the other end of the hallway which went into toward larger space that lead to other rooms and then to a stairwell. Jack reached the end of the hallway and glanced around before he quickly pressed the down button next to the big elevator doors that were made from reinforced steel. He looked at the rooms on his sides, if anything was going to happen, it would probably happen now.

He listened as the elevator gears whirled and clicked before he heard the soft ding and the elevator doors slid open. Inside, he was surprised to see Seras hugging a pint of ice cream against her chest with one hand and a spoon in the other.

"So there's where you went." Jack grinned.

Seras smirked as she stepped out of the elevator. "A girl's entitled to ice cream every once in a while isn't she?"

"Think you're going to share?" Jack stuck his arm against the elevator doors to keep them from closing.

She looked at the pint in her hand then turned to her side glaring at him playfully. "Well," she said looking at it slyly, "it _is_ strawberry. And strawberry is my _favorite_…"

"Guess not huh?"

"Well, I might just let you lick the lid."

Jack stepped into the elevator and chuckled. "You go enjoy you're ice cream, I'll be right back."

"Oh, don't worry, I will," she said as the door closed.

Jack press the button for the lobby and the elevator started moving shortly after. Would they cut the elevator line? He listened closely for any noise, but the hum of the elevators gears and wires were soothing, but sure decent was uninterrupted by any unexpected ambushes. The bells dinged and the doors opened as Jack stepped out into the marble lobby. He would have caught the scent of gunpowder immediately and that would indicate the presence of firearms and warned him. But then, when did Iscariot limit themselves to just guns- or anyone else for that matter?

He made his way to the front desk. "Owens, room 511." He said to the young man who was wiping down the top of the polished white marble desk

The employee turned his attention towards Jack. "Ah yes, we spoke on the phone just a moment ago, didn't we? Let me get your message from the back room."

Jack watched him go through a door behind the desk. He remained alert. There was probably a good chance this guy would come out with a silver-spewing AK-47.

The door opened again and the attendant walked out with a white envelope in hand. "This arrived with the mail today for you sir." He extended the hand with the envelope towards Jack. "It's quite odd. There was no return address or postage mark."

Jack took the envelope. "Not as strange as some things." He looked at the envelope. The only thing written on it was "Room 511, Owens, Victoria".

"True, you see lots of odd things behind a desk. I do hope you didn't have a problem communicating with the staff. We've been uncharacteristically understaffed as of late."

"Not a big deal. I know how busy a place like this can get." Jack turned and waved. A wave of relief hit his mind and body allowing his senses to pick up ultra-sensitive sounds as he pressed the button to call the elevator. Maybe, just maybe he was way too paranoid, but he had good reason to be. At least Iscariot hadn't located them yet. _I hope_. He thought as the doors reopened. And yet, it was rather unusual that they had not considering the circumstances of their situation.

When he returned the room Seras was stretched out on the bed. She hummed happily with a spoon hanging out of her mouth, an almost empty container of strawberry ice cream in one hand, the remote control to the television in the other. She turned her head ever so slightly when she heard the door open. Dropping the remote, she pulled the spoon out of her mouth with her left hand while her right hugged the container closer. "And what would that be?" she said, motioning to the envelope.

"Don't know yet, I haven't opened it. But it does have both our names on it though."

"Well are you gonna stand there or are you going to open it?"

Jack walked over toward the bed and sat down on the edge. He tore open the envelope and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "Lets see what this is all about." He unfolded the paper and turned it right side up. "'Return to England ASAP'," Jack read. "And look its signed by the one and only Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing. How nice, she bothered to sign it. Scoot over." Jack swung his legs up and stretched out.

Seras scooted over a bit, keeping what was left of the ice cream held tight to her chest. "Oh well. I suppose it's time to be going back anyway."

"I'm just concerned on how we're going to manage to sneak past Iscariot."

"Stop worrying," she said casually as she got another scoop of ice cream. "We'll be fine."

"You're probably right. Besides, we've evaded them plenty of times before, right?" He stared at the ceiling as Seras nodded in agreement. It was made of that bumpy white stuff. _God that bumpy white stuff is ugly_. "So, where'd you get the wires?"

"Walter. With you gone I started spending more time with him. He kept giving me private lessons whenever he had free time. You're lucky he taught me how to not cut your head off if I didn't want to." Jack thought back to the park incident and nodded in understanding. Well that certainly is interesting.

"Walter's a good guy."

Seras scrapped at the bottom of the carton with her spoon. "Yeah." She replied absently as she stuck the last of the ice cream into her mouth.

"Any other little surprises I should know about before we get back to London?"

She swallowed the last of the ice cream. "Mmmm. You're legally dead now."

"Oh really?"

"Yup. There was a funeral and everything."

"How'd that work with no body?"

"Oh there was a body, just not yours."

"Lemme guess, cause of death is car exploding in some odd way?"

"Something around that means." She said pretending to observe the stainless steel spoon. "But most of your family showed up, a few of your friends. Everyone looked pretty broken up about it."

"How'd my mom take it?"

"Not all that well."

Jack crossed his arms. "I hate doing this to them."

"Such is the life we live."

"Gimme the lid."

"No."

"You said you'd let me lick the lid."

"I said maybe. You don't need to have any sugar."

"Oh come on."

She turned on her side and stared Jack directly in the eye. She took the lid and showed it to him and he saw the there was a little bit of melted ice cream clinging to it. She extended her tongue and gave it a slow, long, deliberate lick. After she was done she tossed him the lid, clean of whatever may have been on it.

"You really are cruel you know that."

Seras gave a short laugh and kissed him on the forehead. "Only to you."

----------

Jack shut the trunk and looked at the horizon. The sun would be rising in just four or five hours so it was probably best if they got going. He opened the passenger side door and got inside the car. Seras was already in the driver's seat ready to go.

"I'll drive us to Lyon, and then we'll trade places." She turned the key in the ignition. "Ready?" she asked as she placed a pair of sunglasses on.

"I guess." He opened the glove compartment. His Hellcat rested inside next to his sunglasses. He pulled the latter out and put them on. "Wake me up in a few hours when you're ready to switch." He rested his head against the side window and closed his eyes.

----------

"Pay attention (CENSORED)!"

Jack shot up into a sitting position. He looked around. Everything was all...pastel? The sun had a smiley face, a body, and nunchucks? Clouds were apparently taking part in the gangland style shooting of random birds flying through the air. In general, everything looked like a bad acid trip.

"Mo' (CENSORED) do you have ears?! Can you not hear the (CENSORED) words coming outta my mouth?"

Jack looked around. Behind him was…Samuel L. Jackson?

"About time Mo' (CENSORED)."

Jack was bewildered. "What's the hell is going on?"

"I'm the Mother (CENSORED) spirit of your Mother (CENSORED) gun Mother (CENSORED)."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Have you seen the size of that (CENSORED) gun? How the Hell would I not be the Mother (CENSORED) spirit of the Mother (CENSORED) gun?"

"Okay, you're the spirit of the gun, but what the hell is this? We can't dream."

"Of coarse not Mother (CENSORED) . It's a vision, completely different."

"Than why am I having a vision?"

"Why not Mo' (CENSORED). You have anything better to do?"

"Not really."

"That's right."

"Soooooo…Now what?"

"You get two questions."

"Two?"

"Didn't you hear what I just said? Clean out ya ears. I said two."

"Okay…" Jack scratched his head. "Let's see…Is Seras still pissed off at me?"

"Of coarse she is Mo' (CENSORED)! You think one day of romantics is gonna make up for the better part of a year? Jesus H. (CENSORED) Christ. What the hell have you been smokin'?"

"Well than how do I make it up to her?"

"Hold on Mo' (CENSORED) you already asked two questions."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did. The first one was "Two?" and the answer was yes."

"Come on, that can't count."

"Yes it does Mo' (CENSORED)."

"Than can I have another question?"

"Yes."

"Then how can I make it up to Seras?"

"You already had your question. It was the question asking for another (CENSORED) question."

"What?"

"One second." Samuel L. Jackson started spinning around at an extreme speed. Wind zipped past him in a tornado. Jack saw a cow and trailer fly by in the wind. Once he stopped it wasn't Samuel L. Jackson anymore. It was Christopher Walken.

"Weren't you just Samuel L. Jackson a minute ago?"

"No. I wasn't."

"But you were there, saying Mo' (CENSORED) every other sentence."

"Listen, now what you may, or may not have seen up to now isn't the point. What is the-"

"Yeah it is. You turned into Christopher Walken."

"Now listen if you interrupt me again, I swear to God I will cut your head off. I'll do it too. I will then place it on a pike, in front of my place of residence. As I feast upon the spoils of war, your body will be rotting on the field of battle. How would you like that?"

"Huh?"

"That's right. It _would_ suck."

"I guess."

"That's because I'm right. Now, you should probably wake up."

"Well before I go, how do I make it up to her?"

"You're still hung up on that? Well, if I must. I recommend Barry White, and hot stone massage."

---------

"-ck, wake up." Seras shook his shoulder. "I think we're being followed an dit's not tourists."

Jack opened his eyes and quickly shut them again. God it was bright outside. Looking down, he found his sunglasses on his lap. He put them back on and checked the rearview mirror. A black sedan was behind them at a leisurely distance. "We probably are."

She squeezed down on the gear shift. "What do you want me to do?"

Jack looked at the terrain. It was probably close to the border judging from the steep terrain and pine trees. "Let's loose 'em."

Seras shifted the car into third gear and started accelerating. Jack looked behind them; the sedan was actually getting closer. The car shifted up and the gap widened. Jack opened the glove compartment and took out his Hellcat. "Keep driving," he said as he unbuckled his seatbelt and crawled into the backseat. He drifted right as Seras made a made a turn, and watched the car behind them do the same.

"I don't know if we can loose them anytime soon." Seras checked her mirror. "The next turn is about a kilometer ahead and its only two ways."

The popping sound of gunfire started. Jack got down. "Dammit!" Bits of glass fell down onto Jack from the bullet holes in the back windshield" They're shooting at us now!"

"Big surprise."

From his position Jack started kicking the windshield with the toe of his shoe. A few solid kicks to the rims were all it took to dislodge it and send the pane out onto the road. "Did that do anything?"

"No!"

Jack grabbed his gun, got up on his knees, and fired two shots toward the oncoming car. Seras and Jack watched as their engine was destroyed and one of their front tires blew out. The car spun out and slammed into a tree on the side of the road.

"Well that takes care of that." Jack said as he managed to crawl back into the front seat. "Worked out pretty well if yo-"

"Jack. Up ahead." Seras looked down the road. Two large military trucks were blocking the road up ahead. Armed soldiers were motioning for them to stop. "Hold the wheel."

Jack grabbed the wheel and held it steady. "Seras," she said, "What are you doing."

"Is your seatbelt off?" She asked while unbuckling her own.

"Yeah."

"Good." She readied the wires in her hands. "You might want to duck." Wires flew from her hands and cut the top from the rest of the car. The windows fell out and she threw off the top. Jack gulped and watched it crumble when it hit the pavement behind them. Since the windshield had left with the rest of the top the wind blew into both of their faces.

"You're crazy!" Jack shouted.

"Just hold on to your gun!" She retook the wheel and aimed it between the two trucks. The guards started to open fire, bullets riddling the car. Jack braced himself for impact. This was so crazy.

The car smashed into the front ends of both trucks. Jack and Seras were both jettisoned on impact past both vehicles. While Jack flew through the air like a rag doll and hit the ground in the same manner, Seras gained control rather quickly and threw out her wires toward several of the troops that were shooting at them.

When Jack stopped rolling he staggered to his feet, Hellcat still in hand. He watched as Seras, who was still airborne, crossed her arms before her face, and then swung them both out. He watched as several of the soldiers, froze, and then lost their head and turned into…dust? FREAKS? Here? He took aim at group of FREAKS that were still standing and opened fire. Once the magazine was spent he dashed toward the trucks, watching as Seras's wires zigged and zagged through the air at lightning speeds.

A few stragglers opened fire on Jack as he approached. A wire took off the groups heads, save one, who remained determined to hit Jack as he darted back and forth. Jack jumped and grabbed him the collar of his uniform and crushed his head with his elbow.

"That's the last of them," Seras said.

"Why would there be freaks out here?"

"I don't know. Feeding off of passers by maybe?"

"I guess, but why would they be so heavily armed?" Jack noticed that he had a clump of uniform in his hand. He dropped it. He heard metal. He picked it up again and tossed the fabric aside.

"Seras…what do you make of this?" He outstretched his hand with the chain firmly in his fingertips. The metallic pendant dangled in the air.

Seras took a glance at it. "A _swastika_? What the hell?" The symbol spun slowly and glinted in the sunlight.

"I know."

"Hang onto it. We'll have Walter look at it or something."

"Alright," he placed it in his pocket. "But how are we getting out of here? The BMW's trashed."

"Get the stuff out of the car. We'll just take a truck."

"But neither of us knows how to drive one of those things."

"Should be an interesting drive then shouldn't it?"

----------

PREVIEW:

Jack: Reading "Hot Stone Massage for Dummies" and taking notes

Seras: Eh?

Christopher Walken: The man knows what he's doing.

Samuel L. Jackson: That's right Mo' (CENSORED).

Seras: Why do these people keep finding me?

Order # 23: Arrangements

----------

A/N: The last chapter was Track 11 on OST 2. Congradulations to Seika Hellsing, and Megami Ryuuzaki. You two get a gold star.

A/N: Christopher Walken is the man. The segment is hilarious to me, but I may just be a little crazy. Also, hot stone massage. It's just funny.

A/N: There's some violence to try to make up for the last chapters utter lack of things falling down.

A/N: Since you've all been such good boys and girls this year I'm gonna give you a Christmas present. Watch for the next update either on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.

A/N: Props to the editor.

A/N: Nasty little spelling will be crushed immediately after I take a nap.


	18. Arrangements

Order 23: Arrangements

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime. I'm not even making any pennies off of this whatsoever. The entire idea goes out to the creator of the show itself, not me.

A/N: A Christmas gift from me, to you. insert random whoring for review here

----------

The massive truck lumbered through the streets of London. The muffler and bumper were barely holding on holding on against the rest of the olive green truck and threatened to fall off every time the truck hit a bump.

"I think the engine is on fire." Jack said as he tried to see through the black smoke seeping out of bullet holes and sides of the hood.

"We're almost there." Seras said.

"Well it's kind of hard to drive when you can't see."

"It's just the next left. There it is." Seras pointed at the Hellsing mansion. "Home sweet home." The truck stopped in front of the back gate. Seras poked her head out of the window. "Senior officers Owens and Victoria returning." Moments later the Iron Gate opened and the truck rolled in to the Hellsing grounds.

"When'd we relocate?" Jack asked.

"A few months ago. Sir Integra was determined to return here." She opened her door. "Just park here."

The truck either stalled or the engine gave out, but it didn't really matter. Jack opened his door and hopped out. "Should we get our stuff now or later?"

"Later," Seras said as she walked past him toward the entrance. After opening the door she walked in. She lead Jack throughout hallways and doors of the soldier's barracks. Eventually she opened a side door to the main entrance.

They stepped into the enormous green room. Jack looked up at the grand stairway, door upon door lined in green and gold. He walked out on the massive green tile. "Holy crap," Jack muttered in disbelief. "We're living here?"

"Err…yes and no."

"Huh?"

"Yeah." She walked to the stairs, passed up the stairs headed up, and turned toward the stairs leading down. "We're down here." She walked down and opened the door at the bottom. The lavish decor was quickly replaced by dark green brick and uncovered light bulbs hanging on a single cord. "We're down here. Come on." She started her decent down the dark stairs. At the bottom she turned left and continued down the hallway. She stopped before a simple wooden door. "You're in here."

Jack cracked open the door. The room was still the same green brick, with indentations on the wall. Surprisingly, most of his stuff was set up the way he left it."I didn't know where to put some stuff so there's still some boxes hidden in the bathroom."

The couch, table, and TV were all set up perfectly, the computer and its desk on the corner to the right, and all his other nick knacks and furniture were there. He walked closer and ran his hands over the arm of the couch. Same as always. He smiled.

"That's not all." She led him back out into the hallway and further into the labyrinth of the Hellsing basement. "I didn't know if you still wanted all this stuff or not," Seras said as she opened the door, "so I put all of it in here." A stack of red brick and a beat up black punching bag stuck out against the green brick wall in the far corner.

Jack walked in and looked around. "This is were Walter taught you to use the wires isn't it?"

"How'd you know?"

Jack ran his fingers down the brick. "The walls all have small scratches in them."

"None of them are recent, I assure you."

Jack looked the room over again. "I guess an empty room could be good for a few things." He turned his head toward Seras, "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

"Probably." She shut the door behind her. "En garde Owens." She threw a few playful punches at him, which were dodged easily. Gradually the attacks became stronger, faster, more deliberate, and Jack twisted and turned to avoid each of them. Seras threw a kick at his midsection.

Jack smiled as his body was engulfed in shadow; he disappeared into a fine mist that covered the lower part of the room.

"So you haven't been slacking off after all."

"I assure you I was," his disembodied voice said. "I figured this out on accident." He reformed himself behind Seras, the mist disappearing as his body regained its form. He grabbed her right arm and tried to twist, until Seras twisted back. She grabbed Jack by the wrist and shot her arm forward. She let go midair and watched him fly forward and hit the wall.

He scrambled to his feet and assumed a fighting position. Shaking his head he tried to focus. That was unexpected, and painful. He ducked away from another one of Seras's punches and grabbed her leg from a kick. He tossed her backward and threw a roundhouse towards her. She blocked, just as planned. He jumped and pinned her neck with both of his legs. Holding himself up with both of his legs, he twisted and threw Seras to the floor.

She rolled over and jumped to her feet. That was new. She ran towards him and shoved her fist into his stomach. He stumbled backward and took out her legs with a slight extension of his foot. She scowled; he was just playing with her. She'd show him. She got back to her feet and threw a few punches at him. Jack moved her fist aside with a knife hand, grabbed it, stepped behind her while twisting.

Jack pushed one of Seras's feet out from under her and started pushing them both forward only to be met by a swarm of bats. He fell on his face and rolled onto his back in time to see Seras materialize on top of him. She gave a triumphant grin as she pinned both of his arms down.

Jack was struggling of course; she pressed his wrists down into the floor for more emphasis. "If you don't stop wiggling I'm going to have to make you." Jack smiled at the comment. She concentrated and began to see his thoughts. Oh no he wasn't. She shook him violently. "Not going to get yourself out of this by turning into mist. You might as well just give up," she grinned.

"Maybe." He redoubled his efforts and raised his arms off of the floor, not by much, but still off of the floor by a little. A little more and he could probably kick her off of him. He was making steady progress until Seras sank her fangs into his shoulder. His hands dropped as Seras lapped up the blood coming from the wound. He turned his head and watched her for a while before dropping his head to the floor and staring at the ceiling. "Cheater." He muttered.

"Me?" Seras said as she licked her lips. "I'm sorry, did I turn into mist?" She released her iron grip and rested comfortably on top of him."

"No, but you did turn into a bunch of bats."

"Only after you turned into mist."

"Well then you started feeding off me."

"Perfectly fair."

"Well, I don't know where you got that silly idea."

"You were thinking it too."

"Was not."

"Not exactly. You were going to go for my neck."

"Prove it."

"Well I can read your mind you know."

Jack said nothing for a while. "You're kidding right?"

"Nope." She placed her elbows on his chest and rested her head in her hands. "Oh don't take getting beaten so badly. If it's any condolence, you are delicious."

"I'm not taking it badly; you're just rubbing it in."

She batted her eyelashes. "Who? Me?"

"Yes you."

"Poor Jack." She muttered as she lowered her lips to his.

"Ahem." Walter said in the doorway. "I do hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Seras fell off of Jack from the sudden interruption. Jack for the most part remained motionless.

"Sir Integra would like to see Mr. Owens for a few moments."

"Sure." Jack pushed himself up and walked toward the doorway. He shot a last look at Seras, who in turn projected one word into his mind, "_later"._

He followed Walter up the stairs and towards Integra's office.  
Jack opened the door slowly and looked in. Integra was behind her desk, a cigar smoldering on her ashtray. He sucked it up and went into the office.

"I trust you enjoyed your leave."

"It was…educational."

"Apparently you managed to behave yourself in Japan; however, I'm more concerned about what happened in Rome." She motioned to a folder on the edge of her desk. "Going into Rome, killing an entire squadron of Iscariot, _plus_ a Anderson, putting countless innocent lives in danger, and going into Vatican City. It's a good thing that you've been considered AWOL or else Section XIII would declare another bloody crusade! That being said, am I to assume that there will be no more interruptions of this sort?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good. Anything else you would like to add?"

"Yes ma'am."

"What?"

"On our way back we were ambushed. I found this on one of the FREAKS that were silenced." Jack reached into his pocket and placed the swastika on the edge of the desk.

"It will be looked into. Disciplinary measures will be taken in accord with your actions. It will be decided at a later time. Dismissed."

"Yes ma'am."

By the time Jack returned to his room he noticed he was visibly shaking. He half expected Integra to start breathing fire and to take his head off with her bare hands, but it sounded like he was only going to get a slap on the wrist. He went over to his couch and slumped back down into the seat.

----------

When Seras materialized inside the room, Jack was stretched out on his couch, and several empty blood bags were discarded on the coffee table. She walked over to the couch and looked down at Jack. Fast asleep. Or at least it looked that way until he grabbed her and dragged her on the couch with him.

"Cheater." She muttered, struggling against Jack's grip around her waist.

"You know," he murmured into her ear, "you have a pretty strong punch. But what you need to learn, is that all power from any attack comes from the hips."

"Is that so?"

"Mhmm. Oh, I had the weirdest dream on the way back from Italy."

"Holy crap you had one too!?"

----------

Walter looked over the Nazi symbol with a grim look. "It certainly seems that way."

"I thought you killed everyone involved." Integra said from behind her desk.

"Hopefully. I'll look into this and alert MI-5."

"Good. I want answers."

----------

PREVIEW:

Alucard: I frikken hate these things.

Integra: Welcome to the club.

Samuel L. Jackson: CLUB THIS MO' (CENSORED) -beats Alucard upside the head with a 9 iron-

Order 24: Knights of the Round

----------

A/N: Everyone else may be in the dark, but we sure know what's going on don't we?

A/N: The thing about all power coming from the hips is true. Twisting your hips can make the difference between breaking your hand or a brick.

A/N: Spelling problems will be fixed as soon as I finish all these damn cookiesI keep buying.


	19. Knights of the Round Part 1

Order 24: Knights of the Round Part 1

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime. I'm not even making any pennies off of this whatsoever. The entire idea goes out to the creator of the show itself, not me.

A/N: Insert random whoring for review here.

-

It made no sense. No sense at all. Matter of fact, it was completely ridiculous! Absurd! Seras Victoria mused this over in her head for a few more moments. She was still firmly lodged on the couch between Jack's arms. She felt him reposition the bottom arm and settle back into the cushion.

With the small distraction over with Seras turned back to her little conundrum. Why the hell should she feel safe and secure in this position? If anything happened _she _was the one who would have to save _him._ It could barely be called a close match! She was much stronger than what had occurred in the empty room. They were just toying with each other, but _her_ toying was much… better.

She gave a mental sigh and gave up. It didn't really matter. She should just enjoy it while it lasted. No doubt that something was bound to come up sooner or later.

-

Against all probability nothing had happened. Absolutely nothing! The room was deathly silent, and nothing was going to break it if the current trend continued. She wondered if Jack was asleep. Maybe she should poke one of his hands a few times. Nah, she had a better idea.

She closed her eyes and concentrated. She could make out small flashes of Jack's surface thoughts as she scanned his mind. Small mental adjustment here and there, and Jack's consciousness was now like an open book.

Well, he was awake. But what was he thinking about? She looked deeper and an image started to appear. Moving from a bunch of fuzzy lights to sharper clearer items, everything started to come together.

From this position you could stare directly into the neon lights and flashing displays that were propped onto the side of buildings. Tilting your head downwards you could see part of the street a few stories below. The window was tinted, possibly one way glass.

Seras paid attention to the neon signs. Everything was in kanji, which looked like little more than a bunch of doodles, so this was probably from Jack's time in Japan. She head a voice say something from the right side and Jack answered. What the heck were they saying?

Of course! This was in Japan so they were probably speaking Japanese. Seras dug deeper into Jack's head so the memory flashed to her in English.

"I'm busy Owens, not stupid. What's her name?" The voice said. It wasn't loud, but it commanded attention.

"I fail to see how you could be so busy not to have asked the other dozen times I've stood here." Jack turned his head slightly towards the voice.

Its apparent owner was a Japanese man, dressed in a black business suit and his hair parted in the middle. The office was dark so she didn't get a good look at his face. It didn't look like he was all that tall, at least from the angle Jack was looking from. "Well this was the first one that didn't involve massive property damage or over thirty dead. A trend that I would much like to continue."

"I'm sure." Jack turned his attention back out the window.

"You've changed the subject."

"I suppose I have."

"I'm waiting."

"Seras…" he muttered. "Seras Victoria."

"Still in Britain I take it?"

"Yes."

"What's she like?"

"Inquisitive tonight aren't we?"

"I have nothing better to do. And you've changed the subject again."

"Such a nice girl…"

"She a monster too?"

Jack turned around and pulled down his left collar, revealing two pale scars. "What do you think?"

"Interesting. I thought you'd be the one to turn her."

Jack turned back to his original position and shook his head. "No…Dammit Anno what the Hell am I doing here?"

"Well you seem to be standing there."

"That's not what I mean."

"If I spent half as much time wondering why people do what they do as I do paperwork, I'd be sitting on top of the mountain with Master Hirano. Speaking of which, we'd better get you back before he gets impatient."

The memory started to blur and shift. What else did Jack do there? He hadn't said much about it. Well, she was in his head already, might as well. A few pokes and prods and subtle suggestions later, it seemed as if she was getting somewhere. Without warning Jack's mind seemed to just shut down.

Seras looked in deeper, only to get blasted with an overload of memories, thoughts, sounds, and emotion. She was so startled that she fell off the couch and hit the ground with a thump.

She looked back up and saw Jack shaking his right arm back to life. He sat up and raised an eyebrow. She quietly moved from the floor to a set on the couch, and placed her hands in her lap.

"I take it that was you snooping around my mind?" he said with a grin.

"Maybe."

"If you want to know something just ask."

"Noted."

-

Integra shuffled the papers around on her desk. "Butler, if this is a joke it is in very poor taste." Integra said.

"I assure you it isn't. All evidence pulled from various sources indicates that it's them."

"I thought you and Alucard took care of this 60 years ago."

"It seems a few cockroaches escaped."

"And multiplied like rabbits."

"Allusions to the animal kingdom aside this is a serious problem."

"I'm well aware." She pulled a cigar out of a drawer from her desk and chomped down on the end. "Assemble the Round Table."

-

A/N: Yeah so it's late. First two weeks of January were basically goofing off, then I started to work again, then the flu comes up and takes me out for the rest of the month, and well, the Eagles lost, and there was booze involved. Regular updates resume March 10th. Until then I'm going to try to get rid of the rest of this cold, and probably play RE4. I know you'll understand.

A/N: Meh, here's where a few of the chapter names came from.

Second chapter, Not Bomb, comes from Hellsing. It was stamped onto a letter somewhere in the anime, and when I noticed it I had to put it in there somewhere, after a stopped laughing anyway.

Chapter Nine, Reunion Tour, is the title of a sublevel in the original Halo.

Sixteen, incase you didn't notice it earlier in authors notes, it's a song on the 2nd OST.


	20. Knights of the Round Part 2

Order 24: Knights of the Round Part 2

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime. I'm not even making any pennies off of this whatsoever. The entire idea goes out to the creator of the show itself, not me.

A/N: Insert random whoring for review here.

"Down…left…too much left…there we go. Oh right there…Oh god that's good." Seras was currently bent over her knees at the bottom of the couch as Jack rubbed her back.

"Can I stop yet?"

"No." She managed to mumble.

"I've been doing this for over an hour. My hands are starting to cramp."

"Tough."

"Man…" Jack put his elbows on the edge of the cushion so he could rest his arms while continuing the massage. "This is almost as bad as college."

"Would you do it again?"

"I'm still rubbing your back. So it's 'continue' not 'again'."

"You know what I'm talking about." She ran one of her hands over her neck.

"Oh that. Can I stop if I tell you?"

"You can operate your hands and mouth and the same time without one bothering the other."

"Well. While most people live day to day, I did it in cycles of every two or three weeks. I'd wake up, go to class, get home, nap, do whatever school work I had to do until about six. Then I'd go to either Tae Kwon Do or Iaedo. Then after that I'd eat, shower, more schoolwork, and then pass out roughly at three in the morning. Continue this until I pass out from exhaustion, wake up a few days later, and then repeat."

"While I'm sure it was bad you didn't answer the question."

"I'm getting to it. Anyway while that did suck, I did have my family. I mean, it isn't like I would talk to them much, but it was nice to know they were there if I needed them. I'm not sure. A gunshot wound to the chest and impending death may have swayed my decision. But under normal circumstances I just don't know."

"How about with what you know now?"

"In a heartbeat."

"Mmmm…What time is it?"

"About seven thirty."

"Ah." She gathered her willpower and stood. "I suppose I should be going to bed." She stretched her arms and made small, labored steps towards the door. She stopped. Jack had a flimsy grip on his wrist.

"Stay with me."

There was a soft rapping. So early. So tired. There it was again. If he didn't answer it would stop. Yes. No. Dammit. He fought moving. Another knock. This time with words. It was Walter. Dammit. He slowly moved and sat up. His head and shoulders went through the top of the coffin and out into the world.

Walter stood there, composed as usual. When did that guy sleep anyway? He ran his fingers through his hair. It looked like he had put his finger in an electrical socket. "Yeah Walter?" he grumbled.

"There is to be a meeting today at four o'clock. The guard is going to be on full alert. You're to report for assignment at three forty- five."

"What time is it?"

"Ten."

Jack's eye twitched. "Alright."

"Oh and Mr. Owens, please tell Miss Victoria."

"Yeah sure." His head disappeared below the lid as he went to resume his former position. His head came back into contact with the pillow. Oh yes, very soft. He pulled a sheet over himself and draped his arm around Seras's naked stomach. Yes today was starting out very nicely.

"Jack?"

"Mmmm."

"Who was that?"

"Walter."

"Jack."

"Mmmm?"

"Where'd we leave our clothes?"

"Dunno."

"Oh God."

If Jack had opened his eyes he would have noticed the woman next to him was turning a shade of red.

Integra sat at a half empty Round Table. Several screens with the other half of the members sat positioned at their empty seats. "It has been some time since the last time we were called together." She glanced around the room. "While we are not all in England, we all have the same duty and problem. We believe we know where these artificial vampires are coming from."

"And this new information comes from?" One of the members one the screen asked.

"Evidence gathered in the field by senior officers. We have reason to-" Integra stopped as the faces on the screens were replaced with static. "Bloody hell."

The static eventually cleared up, instead of the round table members, there was a pale pudgy man in a white suit. He stroked back his blond hair and looked away. His mouth was moving but there was no sound. Slowly clear audio started to come out of the small speakers below the screen.

"Iz this thing on?" The Major looked into the camera. "Ah wery vell. Greating Frau Hellsing."

"Walter trace it. Now."

"Iz zat old Valter? Ha Ha! I do hope his manners have improved since last time. It is quite rude to interrupt people at mealtime."

"This is different how?"

"Oh Frau. Vhy must you be like that? I am merely trying to give a simple introduction."

Alucard's slow maniacal laughter echoed through the room as he materialized through the wall. "Its been some time 'Mad Major'."

"Alucard! It's a reunion now. Isn't it vonderful?"  
"Enough of this." Integra said, arms crossed, cigar hung from her mouth. "What do you want?"

"Vhat do I vant? Var. Just var. I vant to see the troops run through the cities and destroy. I vant entire nations burning at our fingertips. I vant struggle. I vant chaos. I want to see blood spilled on the battlefield again. Zat is vhat I want." The Major cackled. "Too long have we waited for you. Too long have those we controlled do our bidding. Ve will crush the vorld."

"Then you're attempt is poorly timed."

"Oh no Frau Hellsing. It is perfect."

"Then why now?"  
"Ah yes you are referring to the 'incidents' two years ago. Quite a trouble to zet up really. Vell the explanation is wery simple. Constant wictory breeds complacency. To truly see ze full extent of Hellsing's capabilities it had to be beaten. Don't you zee? You're trembling with rage. You hate uz vith every fiber of your being. I vant Hellsing at its full power. It's full potential. I vant var.

"Zeveral delays plagued uz you see. First it took longer than expected for your release. Und zen one of your operatives vent on an extended wacation. It did prove useful. Ze death of "Angel Dust" Anderson is a great boon. He vould have been troublesome, but taken care of. So you see the match is set. Ze characters have arrived and been introduced. It is time for ze first act. It promises to be a great show indeed. Ta ta." The Major waved and the screen blanked out.

"Walter?"

"Trace has nothing. Apparently it was rerouted through so many different locations that tracing it in time was impossible."

"I want everyone at full readiness."

"Yes Sir Integra."

PREVIEW

Walter: Well that was certainly unexpected.

Integra: But it didn't address the real question.

Jack: Yes. Boxers or briefs?

Order 25: Battle of Britain

A/N: Mmmmm pie. Regular updating begins again!

A/N: Silly Nazis!


	21. Battle of Britain

Order 25: Battle of Britain

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime. I'm not even making any pennies off of this whatsoever. The entire idea goes out to the creator of the show itself, not me.

A/N: Insert random whoring for review here.

* * *

IMPORTANT NOTICE. This chapter has a POV switch to first person! Yay! It changes with the little dashes and you can probably tell who it is. 

What makes something human? Is it just defined as DNA? An experience? Sentient though? Appearance? Something else?

A teacher of mine once said the only thing that everyone had in common was "the eventual decay of their carbon based shell". I suppose I don't even have that now. It's funny that I think about this now. At first it was just easier to ignore it. Let work take the place of thought. Now I have time. All the time I need for a few weeks anyway. Locked in a bloody room for killing a catholic.

I used to be human. It isn't as cracked up as everyone makes it out to be. I wasn't happy, but there was always tomorrow wasn't there?

I'm not human now. It doesn't bother me all that much anymore. It really didn't bother me in the first place though. A few things took getting used to, but not many, not very long. Of course I didn't think about it. Only recently.

I still remember when it happened. You'd be amazed some of the stuff you can think up when you're meditating. Or at least trying. I was never into that stuff. If you were going to focus, there was always a punching bag. However Master Hirano was eccentric to say the least. When carrying buckets of water up and down stairs didn't work, he moved onto very large rocks, and then when that posed no problem he moved up to chunks of iron.

I still have a scar on my back where he continually slashed me when I would make a mistake. It's a fading thin line just under the shoulder blades. The sword was blessed, and normally it wouldn't leave a visible mark for this long, but he struck the same place each time. It didn't matter what position I was in, or where I was. It was always the same damn place! I ruined at least three dozen shirts before I just stopped wearing them during practice.

Master Hirano slashed me, then whacked me in the head with the dull edge of the blade so hard I blacked out. When I woke up it was the middle of the day, and the doors were open. So powers restrained by sunlight, a massive headache, and lack of blood kept me on the floor for a while. And when you're laying face down on the floor you start thinking about stuff you normally wouldn't. I suppose that was Master Hirano's way of getting me to think. Blunt but effective. He would always go off on tangents about how you have to think, not just go along with animalistic instinct.

A few hours later when the sun set Master Hirano came to see if I had moved. I kind of had, but kind of not. I had turned to mist without realizing it. It was only when he started speaking that I returned to normal.

I'm a monster. It doesn't really bother me.

I wonder if I should move. I'm sitting upside down on the couch. Feet hanging off the back, my own back pressed against a cushion and my head dangling towards the floor. Nah. Wouldn't do any good. I can't leave and it's not like anyone is coming in.

Seras had been sent on assignment a few hours ago. We're treating any incident as a full scale emergency, and from what I can gather about the meeting a few days ago, we should. I'm next on the list if anything else happens, but I hope not. I've been getting 'the look' from Integra since I go out without a uniform. Of course it really isn't my fault. None of my uniforms survived the trip from the warehouse to the Hellsing manor. Walter said he'd get to it when he could but I don't know how long that will take. I don't know where that man gets all the time to do all the things around here.

Maybe I should get up. All the blood rushing to my head is starting to give me a headache. I push myself up and plant my feet firmly behind the couch. I yawn, stretch, and wonder what I should do.

"Hey," I mutter to myself as I see the bucket full of ice with a bag of blood. "When did this get here?" I grab the bag of blood and move the bucket back. There are some folded clothes behind it. I stop myself before I open the bag and toss it back into the bucket. I pick up what is on top. This must be my new uniform. I can see a pair of black boots next to my feet. They've changed it from dark blue to black, but the familiar Hellsing coat of arms still is on the left breast. I look at my current dress. An old grey t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Probably best to change.

As I tied the last knot on the boots I go to the bathroom mirror. The sleeves are longer for one. They stop a few centimeters away from the elbows. There is a gun holster for the Hellcat that I never bothered to put on, and the back of the shirt has loops for my sword. At least I think it's for my sword. It doesn't matter.

* * *

"Get Victoria back here now! I want air control back!" My hands are clenched, pushing against the wood of my desk as I give orders through the intercom. "Get Owens in the air! I want Alucard at the palace! Tell him to stay out of sight!" 

The enemies of Her Majesty are numerous, and in this case they're taking the form of under two dozen zeppelins headed towards London, traditional Nazi markings and all. And we don't have any response from any major air force bases. Treacherous monsters.

It doesn't matter. The Queen will be protected at all costs. Monsters that dare to bear their fangs at the face of our country will be crushed above all else.

* * *

The noise helicopters make gets really annoying after some time. It doesn't help that the sun is still out, at least for a few more minutes. One minute I'm moping up what is left of a minor incident and the next I'm being rushed off towards London again. From the radio chatter I can hear it sounds like a big deal, and no one is doing anything about it. I look out the window and I can see London. Nothing looks too out of place. It's when I look out the other side of the helicopter I see the problem. Nazis. 

At first I thought it was joke, but no one ever jokes about work. Except for Jack, but he doesn't count.

The helicopter banks sharply and begins its decent. I can already tell where we're landing. A six story building around the edge of town. I can see Walter standing next to a large crate. This is going to be interesting.

Walter approached the helicopter as I jumped out.

"Ms. Victoria, I assume you see our predicament."

"It's rather hard to miss."

"Well," He walked over to the crate and opened a side. He moved aside some packing foam and stood back. "The Halconnen II long range defense cannon. I believe it will be in good hands." The massive weapon gleamed in the fading light. "Ms. Victoria, Sir Integra wanted to give you your orders. 'Don't let them touch English soil.'"

It was very simple, but easier said than done. "Right." I thought the regular Halconnen was a monster, but this took the cake. Two cannons and giant loading mechanisms, how much did this monstrosity weigh? I took out the cannons and leaned them on the crate so I could get the loaders. I grabbed a strap and pulled forward. Not too bad, but there is no way I am going to run with this. I slip the two boxes on like a backpack, and hook up the cannons. I face the incoming fleet and ready my feet for the recoil.

"Ms. Victoria, please try to avoid hitting Mr. Owens' helicopter."

I looked. A helicopter was going around the lead zeppelin like a fly would over a rotting piece of meat. Fire was being exchanged by both sides, and the zeppelin already had several areas that were heavily damaged. I took aim, and fired both cannons.

It was a good thing I had my feet planted. I saw the two shells collide with the balloon in a display of fire and debris. I fired again. And again. And again. The firing speed was amazing for such a large weapon.

The bow of the airship was engulfed in flame. I can see a missile come from the helicopter and watch as the final blow is dealt to the enemy craft. It explodes and heads in a flaming heap towards the ground.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

The next zeppelin begins to open fire, I shoot down the missiles, and the ones I miss the helicopter gets. The Gatling gun on the helicopter was a recent acquisition. It was outfitted with sidewinder missiles as well if I remember the last budget report correctly.

It is almost like watching a ballet. A series of precise movements and actions timed to the second. The sun had gone, and the red flames of the fire grew with intensity and majesty. As each zeppelin fell to its death it was like the beginning of new music. It had an odd sense of beauty. Until the intricate movements of avoiding enemy fire is abandoned and the helicopter gets closer to the zeppelin.

"Owens!" I yell into my headset. I always call him Owens when we're on assignment. "What are you doing?"

"I have a plan!" What on Earth is that man doing? Sometimes he's insufferable. I look closer and see someone _jump_ from the helicopter to the zeppelin. He's gone crazy. "What the hell?" I can hear him over the radio, but there isn't any gunfire. "This place is empty!"

* * *

Preview: 

Jack: That's the real question. Boxers or briefs.

Walter: Briefs.

Jack: Boxers.

Alucard: Commando.

Seras: EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Order 26: Reload

* * *

A/N: Regular update! Oh right! 

A/N: Third person POV returns in two weeks. I just did this for a change cause I thought it would be fun. And it is.

A/N: Review people. Feed my ego. Pleeeeeeeeease?


	22. Reload

Order 26: Reload

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime. I'm not even making any pennies off of this whatsoever. The entire idea goes out to the creator of the show itself, not me.

A/N: Insert random whoring for review here.

* * *

It was faint at first. The engines of fighter planes could be heard in the distance. Even over the noise of Vladimir's rapid fire.

"What?" Seras stopped shelling for a moment. "What do you mean?"

"This place is empty! No one is here!" He sounded almost as surprised as she was.

It was faint at first. The engines of fighter planes could be heard in the distance, rapidly approaching. Even over the noise of Vladimir's rapid fire. "Jack," she said as she started shooting again, "cavalry is coming."

"Well make sure they don't blow me up." The radio crackled and drown out his voice. "-look around."

"Of course." She wasn't sure it went through, but it hardly mattered. She squeezed the trigger of the cannon, and it clicked. She pressed again. It surprised her how long it took. She threw the spent weapons on the ground and watched the red hot barrels ignite the leaves and other flammable debris around her.

"Ms. Victoria." Seras jumped. She thought Walter had left a while ago. "You still have two more shots, and please a new target. It would be a dreadful waste."

Seras looked back at the feeding mechanism and saw them. In seconds the massive rounds were strapped on the barrels as Seras took aim, fired, and watched in awe as an untouched zeppelin burst into flame.

The jets roared overhead. They headed straight for the targets, released a volley of missiles and banked to the left. The zeppelin took the volley and started to fall apart. Various pieces fell off, and it began a nosedive for the ground.

"-hit!" Seras heard over the crackling of the radio. Oh fuck. That was the one Jack was on. Seras could do nothing but watch as it fell, crumpled against the ground, and exploded into a fireball.

"Jack! Jack!" She was frantic. "Do you read me?" She listened to the buzzes and the crackles. Wait, what was that? "Jack, is that you? Repeat that!"

"I can't feel my legs."

* * *

Jumping out of a flaming zeppelin at several hundred feet, landing on very solid ground, and then being drenched in flame and shrapnel is a very painful process. Even for a vampire. There was a fairly good reason Jack mentioned that he couldn't feel his legs. They were crushed into a bloody pulp, leaving him with little more than stumps a few centimeters below the knee. His left arm was badly mangled, and there were at least a dozen pieces of baseball sized metal lodged in his torso, and what appeared to be a piece of a circuit board in his left eye. Along with the fire and burns, well, it wasn't pretty.

Fortunately one of the upsides of being the undead is that you can live through such a traumatic event. Unfortunately you also feel the agonizing pain of living through it. So Jack was retrieved later by airlift, and taken back to Hellsing HQ where he could recover. So, bandaged up like a mummy from an old horror film, Jack slept as fresh blood was pumped into him intravenously.

Seras shut the door from his room quietly and began to walk up towards Sir Integra's office. Jack had been awake for a little while, and she was instructed to get as much information out of him as she could. She made her way up towards the board room where the Round Table conference had been held. There was so much going on at such a period of time that Integra moved all the papers to the massive table to organize. Poor Walter was running around, always carrying folders containing God-knows-what, and trying to somehow attempt his regular duties at the same time.

Seras opened the door, and walked in. The place was a mess. Papers were strewn about, photos, documents, anything that contained relevant data. Walter was sorting through a stack of reports, and Integra was looking at satellite photographs.

"Sir."

"What did Owens say?"

"He wasn't that coherent from all the morphine, but apparently the entire place was abandoned. Like it was running on autopilot."

"That would explain the lack of bodies in the wreckage." She flipped through some more photos. "It appears to have been a simultaneous global strike."

"In America," Walter started, looking over a particular page. "The President, most of the cabinet, and roughly a third of the Presidential aids were slain. An aid appears to have been a vampire, and then proceeded to tear his way through top officials. Firefighters are working on containing the fire in the White House. Ms. Victoria would you assist us in sorting through all of this?"

Seras stared at the massive pile of information and her heart dropped. "Alright." She trudged to a seat and started going through whatever was in front of her, trying to get some sort of organization.

"And elsewhere?" Integra asked.

"Similar story. England seems to be the only exception. "What time did the aircraft first appear?"

"Earliest photograph is at 2:24 last night over Greenland. It stopped off the coast of Ireland during the day, then moved again at dusk."

"I have a report of an attempted mutiny on the H.M.S. Eagle at 1:57 last night. It appears to have been the work of Millennium."

"Attempted?"

"The uprising was stopped by an American Paranormal Bureau unit."

Integra stopped flipping through pictures. "Why," she said, the silent frustration becoming more overt in her speech. "Was there an APB unit on a British ship?"

"It went over our head. The Major's transmission was routed and rerouted across the globe. Apparently they intercepted it, and decided to get involved. They contacted the Prime Minister directly. It says in the report that "the threat presents a very clear and present danger to the United States, and the world.'"

"Bloody Hell. Now we have to deal with the Americans."

"Well it doesn't seem like we have to for very long. They claim to know where the transmission originated from. We're already looking into the legitimacy of these claims."

Seras threw down a stack of papers. "This doesn't make any bloody sense. If you're planning a worldwide coup, shouldn't they have at least been there!"

"It is odd." Walter rubbed his chin. "You don't stay quiet for half a century and come up with something this ineffective. Perhaps they are not as great in number as we were lead to believe?"

"It doesn't make sense. To send us a message and not carry it out." Integra lit a cigar and gave it a puff.

"Historically," Seras said, "these bastards have shown they at least know what they're doing militarily. This can't be a coincidence."

"They would only move if it gave them an advantage. If I know the Major like I think I do, we haven't heard the last of them."

"Alucard." Seras said. "This all relates to Alucard."

"How?" Integra asked.

"You know it's difficult for vampires to move across water, at least for the weaker ones. So it doesn't make any sense to capture an aircraft carrier. I bet that was a distraction. The only one who could have gone in would have been Alucard. Judging by the specifications, he's the only one who could have made it on and survived."

"So," Walter said, "by sending him out of England, to open water, we would have been severely weakened."

"I've seen what my Master is capable of doing. They're afraid of him. They should be."

"So it's a distraction."

"I think it's a distraction on top of a distraction. They needed to find a new plan, the easiest way to get some breathing room was for us to believe that they had already been defeated."

Integra grinned with approval. "So Seras," she puffed on her cigar, "what's our next move?"

"Search and destroy sir. Search and destroy."

* * *

So with a vague grasp of what had happened in the past twenty hours, Seras headed back down to her room. After a bath, changing into clean clothes, and a blood bag, she headed next door to check on Jack. She cracked open the door and looked in. Jack was in his coffin, and the lid was open. Probably so all the tubes from the IV stand next to it wouldn't be crushed.

She walked up to it and looked at him. It was a pitiful sight. What was left of his legs was wrapped around in bloody bandages. His left arm was completely wrapped and was close to his chest. Gauze had been taped down over where the shrapnel entered his torso and the centers were in varying degrees in the process of becoming saturated with blood. His right arm had all the tubes going into it. It's the only place that wasn't horribly damaged, probably because he landed on it, but in any case it was the only place that had a suitable vein. His left eye had a patch of gauze and a few bandages going around the left of his head.

Poor guy.

She ran her fingers through his hair and looked at him.

"Grrmmmmmm." His eyes started to open.

"Hey."

"Mmmm." He closed his eyes again.

"You okay?"

"Well," he said in a hushed tone, "I'm not so sure because of all the painkillers, but I think I'm pretty fuckin' far from okay."

Seras smiled. "You'll be good as new in no time."

"Doesn't feel like that."

"Poor baby."

"Oh be quiet."

* * *

PREVIEW!

Seras: If I find one of your severed legs, can I use it as a putter?

Jack: Go for it, but good luck finding a club that will allow severed limbs on the putting green.

Order 27: Amicable Relations

* * *

A/N: Come on people! Review! I'm disheartened! 


	23. Author's Notes Strike Back

It's been a while since I've done this but I figured why not. Don't worry a new chapter is still coming up on April 22.

* * *

That Ol' Plotline

I told you it was going somewhere now didn't I? Nazis for everyone! Hurrah!

* * *

Fun Statistics

Average number of words per chapter: 2043.37

Longest chapter: 3640 words

Shortest chapter: 889 words

Average reviews per chapter: 2.55

Number of times I've looked through the entire story for corrections: 2

Time since original chapter: 353 days

Number of cokes consumed (estimate) during writing: 4 dozen

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Powers

It would be natural as time progresses both Seras and Jack would be developing kick ass powers. They have some, like turning into mist and bats, which they can do on command and others, like summoning demons (Seras) and going through walls (Jack), which they can't. There really isn't a set sort of time that is laid out either in the manga or anime for either of these things happening, so I'm just winging it.

Another one of those powers is the regeneration. Poor Jackie boy lost his legs and got pretty much beat up last chapter. Since he did loose a lot of blood in the aftermath of getting messed up, he would need to replace that for his full healing powers to take effect. They aren't as fast as Seras's but they work.

And another thing, Seras's wires. God damn I just love those things, and since Walter has a proclivity to stay back with Integra, they just don't get too much attention. So I gave them to Seras. Squee. Squee indeed.

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Reviews

Come on. It can't take that long can it? Motivate me.

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Random

This is where I talk about what ever happens to come across my mind. Lemme see.

Lack of Alucard. Yeah he hasn't done much lately. Don't worry. He gets to revel in some slaughter real soon, and he's the basis of the new preview section. Instead of just random stuff, it's "Ask Alucard". In which I'll take a random question I make up, or if someone would send me one that would kick ass email is and Alucard answers it. It should make for some interesting reading.

Jack and Seras. Due to their vampiric nature their relationship is a constant battle for dominance. Sometimes anyway. The human element lets them have an almost normal relationship. But they can get out of hand. Take the little fight in that empty room for an example.

Yeah that's kinda it. Sooooooooooooooooooooo….review and stuff. See ya Thursday.


	24. Amicable Relations

Order 27: Amicable Relations

By: SleepyNinja

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing and not making a dime. I'm not even making any pennies off of this whatsoever. The entire idea goes out to the creator of the show itself, not me. Kohta Hirano is my God.

A/N: Reviews are much appreciated. You know you want to.

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"I don't get it." Seras looked over Jack. His legs hadn't grown back that much like they should have. "Are you trying to not have your legs grow back?" She waited for a response. "Jack! Pay attention." 

The battered man groaned in response.

"I know you're awake." She looked him over, and to his IV. "You're still on the morphine aren't you? Christ." She yanked the bag of morphine off the stand, causing it to tremble. "If those legs aren't back in two hours you better start thinking about regenerating your arms."

With her threat she turned and walked out of the room. Integra wanted to go on patrol around the city, just in case.

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Jack was vaguely aware of horrendous pain shooting through him as the morphine wore off. He gritted his teeth and after a few minutes of that, just starting quietly groaning in agony. 

After what seemed like an eternity it subsided. He looked down at himself. The wounds in his chest had closed up, his left arm only felt broken in a dozen places, and he had gained a new right foot, and more of his left leg. Calling it a small victory he tried to open his damaged eye, felt a horrendous stinging sensation, then quickly shut it and decided that was a bad idea.

He grabbed the feeding tube from the IV and yanked it out of his veins. He grabbed the IV bag, tore it open, and drank the blood inside. He sighed in relief.

He pondered on what to do for a moment. "Oh I have to see how they try to explain this." He said to himself, pushing his way out of his coffin towards the couch. He hopped a few times due to only having one foot, and then jumped over the back. He grabbed the remote control from between the cushions and turned on the BBC.

"The death toll has risen from its earlier estimated count of 500 to an estimated 600. The aftermath of the attack still has emergency services scrambling to help injured and clean up possible safety hazards around the city."

Jack listened to the anchor continue as pictures of destroyed areas flashed across the screen.

"The government released details about the terrorist attack two days ago, saying that no group has taken responsibility, but all possible leads are being followed.

"The pilot and crew of a lone military helicopter that first arrived to defend London against the attack are still unknown. Some are afraid that it was destroyed once an military unit was called in to repel the invaders and responded with artillery, or during the air strike that followed. The government has denied any knowledge of any helicopter, saying that 'the earliest response that arrived on the scene was an army unit that responded with artillery was drilling outside of the city.'"

"People believe anything these days," he said to himself.

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"I'm coming in now. You better have legs." She pushed the door open and found Jack on the couch. 

"Hello my little artillery unit," he said with a smug grin.

"Bloody hell you've been watching the news."

"Yep."

"At least you have legs. Well hurry up and get packed. We leave in five hours."

"What now?"  
"I'll explain later."

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Seras stepped out of the helicopter onto the deck of the H.M.S. Eagle. People were running back and forth doing their jobs, probably unpacking Alucard, who had refused to ride in the helicopter unless he was in his coffin. She took a few steps forward so the others could get out. 

Jack stumbled off the helicopter. He was feeling a bit seasick and it wasn't getting any better. He saw an officer coming out from the inside. Not a British officer for sure.

The officer got within earshot, traded salutes with Seras and Jack. He took off his brimmed hat, uncovering thinning white hair, and wild eyebrows. "I'm Major John Clutter of the Paranormal Bureau. Welcome aboard."

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Preview: 

Jack: Why the hell did this take so long?

Seras: Poor author had a dose of alcohol poisoning.

Jack: Pfft. Wuss.

Order 28: A Firm Kick

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A/N: Revieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew. Do it. 

A/N: A lame excuse for a chapter? You bet it is.


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